That's not our video. Well, maybe it is...

Why is it that Texas is cursed with the worst governors in the history of human civilization? Ann Richards, was a vapid figurehead whose greatest claim to fame was the ability to speak in sound bites. Mark White alienated every constituent by reneging on every campaign promise he ever made. Bill Clements was deeply unpopular, and headed up the slush fund that resulted in SMU's infamous "death penalty," yet was elected to a second term over White, who'd beaten him four years before. The net result of George Bush's ballyooed "property tax relief" was that rates were jacked up overnight across the state to make up for the difference. I tell you, folks, the reason the Texas governorship is comparatively powerless is because a lobotomy is required prior to taking office. I mean, these people are idiots.

Our current governor, Rick Perry, is the absolute worst of the lot. His idea of leadership is to veto bills he doesn't like, only he chooses not to tell the legislature what he doesn't like beforehand. Democrats despise him, and a lot of Republicans aren't too fond of him, either. So it has come to pass that the state comptroller, Carol Keeton Strayhorn (a Republican) and Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison (another Republican) are not-so-discreetly mulling a gubernatorial run against him. Perry and Strayhorn have been at each other's throats for years now. They abso-frellin-lutly hate each other. But Perry apparently views Hutchison as the greater threat, according to this story in the Houston Chronicle:

A video snippet showing Democratic U.S. Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton speaking kindly of GOP Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison at a Washington event came from a tape made by two men working for Gov. Rick Perry's campaign, the campaign admitted today.

Perry campaign director Luis Saenz confirmed the making of the video in a report published in Wednesday's online edition of the Austin American-Statesman.

"We're being very aggressive in everything we do," Saenz said. "And you ain't seen nothing yet."

Hutchison and Clinton were together briefly at Sewall-Belmont House and Museum in Washington, to celebrate a women's history event. Clearly, a civil showing of bipartisanship was utterly inappropriate for such a communist-centric event. Hutchison, were she a good Republican, would've ripped off Clinton's head and pissed down her neck. Were she a good Republican.

Of course, this being Texas, such a hissy fit can't be a simple and straighforward affair. Nosirre Bob. After the video in question began to circulate, the Perry campaign categorically denied that it was responsible. Only someone forgot to tell the cameramen who actually shot the video, who were only too happy to point fingers at the Perry campaign as calling the shots. The Hutchison camp, predictably, was unimpressed by this gross display of covert incompetence:

Terry Sullivan of Austin, representing Hutchison's campaign for re-election to the Senate, said: "I'm embarrassed they got caught in a lie. I'm a little bit more embarrassed that the governor has nothing better to do than stalk the senator halfway across the country, then be dishonest about it."

Personally, I think the lot of 'em are idiots. I'm voting for Kinky Friedman. But as much as I dislike Hutchison (more on her tomorrow) I would dearly love to see her kick Perry's sorry behind from Austin to Albuquerque. The man's a tool, and the sooner we get him out of office, the better. I mean, really. He can't even slander his opponently compentenly--and this is the guy running the state? Puh-leeze!

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