Pope Joan

There was an interesting feature on ABC's Primetime Live tonight--Diane Sawyer, obviously looking to cash in on the religious conspiracy coattails of The DaVinci Code, examined the legend of Pope Joan, a woman who supposedly disguised herself as a man to earn an education and ended up being elected pope in the ninth century.

Medieval manuscripts tell a similar tale: Two-and-a-half years into her reign, Pope Joan was in the midst of a papal procession, a three-mile trip to the Church of the Lateran in Rome, when suddenly at a crossroads, she felt sharp pains in her stomach.

She was having contractions, the stories say. The unthinkable happened — the pope was having a baby.

"And then, shock and horror," says Malone. "And then the story gets very confused, because some of the records say she was killed and her child was killed right on the spot. Other records say she was sent to a convent and that her son grew up and later became bishop of Ostia."

Stories vary — some say the crowd stoned her to death, others say she was dragged from the tail of a horse — but in most accounts, Pope Joan perished that day.

While interesting, the story wasn't very even-handed. It was obvious that Sawyer was fascinated by the prospect of a female pope, and played up that "what if?" angle. And the feature itself didn't do much to shed any light on the matter--pretty much every piece of evidence cited can be found in Peter Stanford's somewhat self-congratulatory book The Legend of Pope Joan. At a glance, the evidence is indeed convincing--especially in light of the fact that in the early years of Christianity, women held far more powerful roles in the church, evidence of which was systematically suppressed over the ensuing centuries. It doesn't hurt the case of the pro-Joan advocates that those on the opposite side of the issue (in the Dateline piece and also in some of the literature I've read) simply say "She didn't exist," and leave it at that.

The most powerful arguement against her existance is that the first mention of her doesn't turn up until the 13th century. At the same time, however, evidence clearly shows her existance and death was an accepted fact by pope and peasant alike in the middle ages. Simply dismissing her as a myth misses the point--even myth, when believed, becomes real. How else to explain the marble toilet seat throne used to verify a pope's manhood? I'd very much like to see a work that examines the legend of Pope Joan itself--the legend, not the person--because all legends have a context and an origin. There is a reason why Pope Joan was accepted as real by the Catholic church for more than 500 years, and those reasons deserve exploration. Was it a simple morality tale designed to keep women "in their place"? Or was it a reaction against the "beguines and mystics" who threatened church hierarchy? Or was it even a mangled distortion of the pope-making powers of Theodora, a powerful 10th century Roman noblewoman?

In any event, there's more interest in the legend now than at any time in history. There's even a Pope Joan movie lensing in Germany. What I find amusing is the rabid venom being spewed by right-wing Catholics on blogs hither and yon insisting that the story is anti-Catholic propoganda. Take a look at this snippet from WorldNetDaily:

But Catholic writer Philip Jenkins, in his book "The New Anti-Catholicism, calls the "Pope Joan legend" a "venerable staple of the anti-Catholic mythology."

"Though it has not the slightest foundation," he writes, "from the sixteenth century through the nineteenth, the tale was beloved by Protestants, since it testified to Catholic stupidity. ..." Today, he says, "Pope Joan enjoys a lively presence on the Web, where feminist anti-Catholics celebrate her existence much as did seventeenth-century Calvinists."

The posting on the Newsbusters site said: "That a major network like ABC would lend credibility to such a vicious anti-Catholic smear is deplorable."

Maybe I'm theologically dense, but I can't for the life of me see how this could be a Protestant conspiracy. Even if Joan if a complete and total fabrication, the legend appears in official church records 300 years before Martin Luther posted his Ninety-five Theses on the church door. These folks shouldn't be so paranoid and defensive.

Whether true or false, Pope Joan is a great story. Just strange enough to be true in an era that was too bizarre to be believed. It's probably just a myth, akin to the Infancy Gospels, but it's a myth one wishes were true.

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I wonder if the Marvel McFey costume is available?

So much for moving all of Astroworld's old rides to various Six Flags parks across the country. The parent company, not satisfied with selling the land the park sits on, is now putting everything else up on the auction block:

For fans looking for something to hold onto, AstroWorld, which permanently closed in October, will hold a public auction Jan. 6-8.

Auction attendees must be at least 18 years old and provide valid identification at registration. Officials said no one under the age of 18 will be allowed into the auction.

Apart from the general foodservice equipment and golf carts, they're also offering up some of the park's signature rides. I kid you not. Rides like Greezed Lightnin' (my personal fave), XLR-8 (the first suspended roller coaster), the Viper, Mayan Mindbender, Looping Starship (which was supposed to go up to Arlington. Guess they changed their mind) and the 100-year-old Dentzel Carousel. I mean, really. Shuttering the park was depressing enough, but this fire sale is downright pathetic.

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Telescope

Guess what Calista got from Santa?



It's just a little 2.4" Meade refractor. Nothing fancy. But it does the job for a first telescope--especially since my 6" reflector isn't in useable condition and the girls keep wanting to look through it. The moon's not visible right now in the evening, but we took it out Christmas night to see what planets we might take a peek at. Venus was obvious up there the the evening sky, but from experience I knew it wouldn't offer much. Fortunately, it's currently in crescent phase, and that showed up impressively. Then we turned the scope up to Mars, high in the sky. We saw a bright, pink disc, which earned some oohs and aahs from the girls. A couple hours later we took it back out to take a look at Saturn, and the view was spectacular. Saturn never, ever disappoints, even in the smallest telescopes. The rings were clearly defined, and even if we couldn't see the Cassini division, the shadow of the rings over the planet was clear.

I absolutely must get my telescope in working order this year.

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A San Antonio Solstice

The family piled into the minivan this evening and made the trek down into San Antonio to take in the sights and sound of the famous Riverwalk. It really is spectacularly beautiful during the Christmas season:



We'd planned on taking a ride on one of the river barges that cruise around beneath the lights, but the line was long and the weather had turned a mite chilly from earlier in the day (low 40s from a high of around 65), so regretfully we took a pass on that one. We did, however, grab dinner at Casa Rio, which serves up your basic Tex-Mex (nothing too flashy or spicy that would scare off the out-of-state tourists) but does a good job of it for a modest price. We got a table beside the river, waving at the barges full of tourists passing by. We fed tortilla chips to the ducks that swam up to beg. We listened to the strolling mariachis. All in all, a typical dinner on the Riverwalk.



After wandering around the Riverwalk for a while (we never made it to Justin's Ice Cream Company, unfortunately, since their lease has been cancelled so yet another Saltgrass Steak House can go up instead. How much longer before the Riverwalk looks like any other strip mall in America?) we headed for home. But first, we took a drive past the Alamo to look at the lights decorating the old mission. You can't really see the big Christmas tree at the front of the plaza in this photo, but the scene was quite nice. Unfortunately, this is the only shot that turned out in a non-blurry fashion.



Feliz Navidad, everyone!

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Happy Winter Solstice!

In observance of the Winter Solstice--the longest night and shortest day of the year--I thought I'd share with all my northern friends something that popped up in my front yard today:



Yes, it's growing in a pot, but it's been sitting on our front porch, uncovered, since April. In case you're wondering, it's 65 degrees and sunny today in New Braunfels. And yes, those are candy cane and lollypop decorations in the background.

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Oh yeah. I saw Kong.

As far as remakes go, Peter Jackson's remake of King Kong kicks the banannas out of the Dino De Laurentiis version from the '70s. Yes, it's way too long--just off the top of my head, I can think of half a dozen cuts that would easily get it down below the 2:30 mark with no impact on the overall story (what the heck was all that "Heart of Darkness" nonsense? Film school "symbolism" that had no payoff. Shame on you, Jackson. You're better than that!).

I was very, very worried about Jack Black being anywhere near this film, much less his being in such a crucial role as Carl Denham. But to my surprise, he worked well for the most part. This version of Denham is played much like a chronic gambler--compelled to risk everything for that elusive payoff, no matter how many people are hurt or swindled along the way. Denham wasn't evil, but the was definitely amoral and oblivious to the impact his actions had on others. Naomi Watts was perfect as Anne Darrow. Inspired casting. The other actors... they filled their roles adequately. Adrien Brody has little to do with the role of Jack Driscoll. He's pretty much along for the ride on this thing, and as such is a pretty passive leading man. In Jackson's original script for Kong, Driscoll was a disillusioned WWI flying ace that takes part in the dogfight atop the Empire State Building in defense of Kong. This final version of the remake, however, sticks closer to the original film. Jack's SOL, and Kong, Anne and the biplanes have the finale to themselves.

So, all in all, the flick's a winner. Heavenly Creatures is still my favorite Jackson film, however. The original Kong, which I first saw in college, still had a stronger impact on me. I was expecting something, well, primitive. But the storyline and special effects--particularly the effort spent on giving Kong a tangible personality--shocked me. I was amazed at the originality and sophistication in that 1933 movie. This 2005 edition can't say the same, and instead has to rely on technical dazzle, which it accomplishes admirably.

Of course, I have to confess I've always been more of a Godzilla fan than a King Kong fan. I came across Godzilla at that tender adolescent age where I lived and breathed dinosaurs. Land of the Lost was the highlight of my week. So even awful Godzilla flicks like Godzilla vs. Megalon drove me bonkers with excitement. Can you imagine my excitement when I first beheld the wonders of Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster which featured not only Godzilla and this new, three-headed dragon, but also Mothra and Rodan? Wow. At that time, I only knew Kong through King Kong vs. Godzilla and King Kong Escapes. So I'm hard-wired for Godzilla. The trouble is, with the exception of the original 1954 Godzilla movie, there's never been a Godzilla film that could actually be called good. Entertaining? Yeah. Fun? Absolutely. Good? Not really. And to make matters worse, the big-budget American Godzilla which should have been great instead missed the point in every way possible, and was instead more of a limp Reptilicus remake than a Godzilla film. So despite the fact that I like Godzilla more than Kong, I have to say that Kong now has two excellent movies to his credit, while the big lizard hasn't managed to reach any more substance than he had back in 1954.

Is there any hope of Peter Jackson doing a remake of King Kong vs. Godzilla? Boy, that's one I love to see!

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Boot to the head

Federal Judge John Jones has ruled in the Dover, Pa., Intelligent Design case. And basically he's run those warmed-over creationists out of town on a rail:

In an opinion issued Tuesday, U.S. District Judge John Jones ruled that teaching "intelligent design" would violate the Constitutional separation of church and state.

"We have concluded that it is not [science], and moreover that ID cannot uncouple itself from its creationist, and thus religious, antecedents," Jones writes in his 139-page opinion posted on the court's Web site. (Opinion, pdf)

"To be sure, Darwin's theory of evolution is imperfect. However, the fact that a scientific theory cannot yet render an explanation on every point should not be used as a pretext to thrust an untestable alternative hypothesis grounded in religion into the science classroom or to misrepresent well-established scientific propositions," Jones writes.

And, anticipating Pat Robertson's forthcoming call to "Take him out" and other right-wing buffoonery, Judge Jones also directs a few choice words in their direction as well:

Jones -- an appointee of President Bush, who backs the teaching of Intelligent Design -- defended his decision in personal terms.

"Those who disagree with our holding will likely mark it as the product of an activist judge. If so, they will have erred as this is manifestly not an activist court," Jones writes.

"Rather, this case came to us as the result of the activism of an ill-informed faction on a school board, aided by a national public interest law firm eager to find a constitutional test case on intelligent design, who in combination drove the board to adopt an imprudent and ultimately unconstitutional policy," he said.

I count this as an early Christmas gift, yes indeed.

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The worst barbecue in the universe

Took the family out for barbecue tonight. Normally we'd head straight over to Rudy's, but for a change we thought we'd try out one of the other barbecue joints in town. You know, support the locals. On Loop 337 in New Braunfels, just off I-35 and past the landmark New Braunfels Smokehouse, is a newish restaurant called Davila's Bar-B-Q. We knew it was there because we pass it on the way to Rudy's. "Since 1959" is emblazoned on the signage, so we figured we'd give it a try.

Big mistake.

Folks, this was, without any danger of competition, the absolute worst barbecue anyone in my family'd ever had the misfortune of trying to eat. We should've turned around when we realized the place was nearly empty on a Saturday evening (when all the other restaurants in town are packed to bursting). My daughters' barbecued chickens looked like the puniest, scrawniest, boniest birds ever cooked. Were it not for the white meat, I'd have sworn they were malnourished pigeons. My wife ordered brisket. What she got was a slice of burned gristle with a side of grease. I ordered ribs and sausage. The ribs were overcooked bone with globs of fat attached to one end, and the sausage was dry and overcooked, yet still somehow greasy beyond belief. There was so much fat on our plates that the grease literally pooled on top of the barbecue sauce. I've had some crummy, uninspired barbecue in my life (Bill Miller's Barbecue comes to mind) but I've never had any so bad I've been unable to finish. We left Davila's disgusted, picking up some Chinese takeout at HEB for Lisa, and making a pot of mac and cheese for the girls once we got home.

Folks, if you're ever in New Braunfels and tempted to eat at Davila's Bar-B-Q (or passing through Seguin, since I believe they have a place there as well) do yourself a favor and don't.

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Well, I didn't see THIS coming!

Remember how sucky the SciFi Channel's EarthSea miniseries was? How they butchered Ursula LeGuin's novel in an attempt to turn it into Harry Potter lite? Well, it looks like EarthSea is on its way to the silver screen by way of Studio Ghibli:

Studio Ghibli has officially announced that their next feature film will be Gedo Senki (Gedo War History), directed by Hayao Miyazaki's son, Goro Miyazaki. The film will be an adaptation of Ursula K Le Guin's "A Wizard of Earthsea," and will be released in the Japanese theatres in July 2006.

The Studio's official site has also undergone a revamp. Details of the new film can be found there. There are also dedicated sections of production diary and director's diary. Goro Miyazaki has posted some comments on his father's opposition towards his work as a director.

------

Our Tales of Earthsea page is now up.

Ghibli World has a translation of a section of Goro's blog/diary with thoughts about his reason for directing and his father's reaction.

I'm pretty jazzed about this. It's won't be a remake of A Wizard of EarthSea however. According to Anime News Network, indications are that it's either an adaptation of the third book in LeGuin's series, The Farthest Shore, or a combination of that book and the fourth, Tehanu. In any event, fans can be certain they won't be getting a slavish, word-for-word interpretation of the books. Ghibli's Howl's Moving Castle film was composed of perhaps 50 percent of the original Dianne Wynne Jones novel, and 50 percent Hayao Miyazaki's imagination. That movie was flawed, sure, and didn't approach the brilliance of Spirited Away, but it's still a thing of wonder to behold. I expect this new EarthSea movie, titled the very anime-ish Gedo War History, will follow similar lines. Which will still make it about 90 percent more faithful than the SciFi Channel mini!

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On the shelf #3

Here is the third installation of my semi-occasional feature cleverly dubbed “On the Shelf.” Going column by column, I’m working my way bottom to top, left to right until I’ve cataloged my entire library, or lose interest, whichever comes first. Part one can be viewed here, and part two here. Today’s installment examines the contents of the third-from-the-bottom, leftmost shelf, which you can see above the telescope here:

• High Frontier by Gen. David Graham
  
  
• Spaceflight: A Smithsonian Guide by Valerie Neal, Cathleen S. Lewis and Frank H. Winter
  
  
• The Pictoral History of World Spacecraft by Bill Yenne
  
  
• Space by Anthony Feldman
  
  
• Islands in the Sky eds. Stanley Schmidt and Robert Zubrin
  
  
• Space Sailing by Jerome L. Wright
  
  
• The New Astronomies by Ben Bova
  
  
• Interstellar Travel by John W. MacVey
  
  
• Edwin Hubble by Gale E. Christianson
  
  
• Chariots for Apollo by Charles R. Pelegrino and Joshua Stoff
  
  
• Yeager by Gen. Chuck Yeager and Leo Janos
  
  
• Genesis: The Story of Apollo 8 by Robert Zimmerman
  
  
• Men of Space, vol. 3 by Shirley Thomas
  
  
• John Glenn: A Memoir by John Glenn with Nick Taylor
  
  
• Schirra’s Space by Walter M. Schirra Jr. with Richard N. Billings
  
  
• The Difference Engine by Doron Swade

Whew! Lots of books on that shelf. Lots of space and astronaut biographies as well. Someday, I’d like to track down the entire run of Shirley Thomas’ Men of Space series, but I have no idea where I’d find room for them all. Onward and upward!

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Christmas gift shopping

I watched Rocket Boys the other night, a movie I really love, and Calista was really taken with it. That kids--high school students, granted--could teach themselves rocketry that advanced made a big impression on her. I'd been considering getting her an Estes model rocket for Christmas, but that cinched the deal. Last week I scouted out the local Hobby Lobby, and yes, they had some decent starter kits that wouldn't break the bank. I knew I'd have a few extra dollars this week, so I put off the purchase until today.

Talk about fortuitous circumstance. Hobby Lobby is running a 50 percent off sale on all model rocketry products this week! So I was able to pick up the $22 Alpha III Starter Set, which includes a 12-inch Alpha II rocket, launch pad, launcher and two engines, for a mere $11:



I chose the Alpha III over the other kits because it requires some minimal construction before flying (a little bit of gluing, nothing too dramatic), whereas the other starter kits were complete and ready to fly. From my brief fling with model rocketry back in the day, it's my belief that the building aspect is just as important to the rocket experience as actually flying. So all in all, it's a good starter set. But I wanted Calista to be able to get even more involved with the process, so thanks to the sale, I added this little rocket to the my purchase for less than $2:



The "220 Swift" is a mini-rocket that measures just 4.5 inches long, with die-cut balsa fins. It's so light that it doesn't even have a parachute--it just tumbles back to earth. A very simple rocket, easy to put together. But one of the main selling points to me is that it comes unpainted, allowing Calista to splash whatever wild, colorful designs over it she chooses. It will be indelibly stamped with her personality, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what this gift is all about (don't worry--she's got some Barbie dolls under the tree, so she's not totally losing her girlish identity).

To top it off, when I was checking out they informed me that the extra rocket engines I'd picked up were also half off, even though they weren't included as being reduced on the sale signage. So ultimately, I got two rockets, a launch kit and extra rocket motors for $5 less than the starter kit alone would've cost me had I bought it last week. Sometimes, procrastination pays off.

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For the King (Kong)

For all of you folks wrapped up in King Kong mania, I'd like to direct your attention to For the King, a story I've just published over at RevolutionSF in honor of Peter Jackson's three-hour homage to non-stop dinosaur-simian wrestlemania:



Sadly, there's no MechaKong in it, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. I know I did.

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It's Zoran Zivkovic day at the blog!

Zoran Zivkovic the speculative fiction writer, not to be confused with Zoran Zivkovic the Serbian Prime Minister, is an extremely talented writer and a nice guy on top of that. I published his excellent short piece, The Astronomer on RevolutionSF early on in my tenure, and recommend you go and read it now.

So why am I going on and on about a neat-o writer who is not the political leader of a Balkan state? Why, because he has sent me two excellent pieces of news in the last few days that I feel compelled to share with you good readers:

Zoran Zivkovic Signs with New Publisher
Aio Publishing Company Will Publish the European World Fantasy Award Winner

Charleston, SC – Zoran Zivkovic’s work can be hard to distill into a few sentences. Interzone perhaps gives it the best shot: “[T]his is sophisticated, philosophical fantasy of the highest order.”

Zivkovic, who has been variously compared to such luminaries as Italo Calvino, Franz Kafka, Jorge Luis Borges, and Stanislew Lem, has signed with Aio Publishing Company, LLC, for the American and Canadian release of three of his highly acclaimed mosaic novels, with more likely to follow.


Zivkovic won the 2003 World Fantasy Award in the novella category for The Library. Although he has been steadily building an American fan following, h is work has not been widely available in the American trade market until now. Consequently, publisher Tiffany Jonas of Aio says she’s pleased to announce that Zivkovic’s mosaic novels Seven Touches of Music, Impossible Encounters and Steps Through the Mist will be published under the house’s imprint starting in 2006, bringing Zivkovic’s works to a much wider North American readership.

The works will each appear as a standalone volume. “Zivkovic’s works each have such conceptual richness and depth,” says Jonas, “they really merit a significant breadth of space of their own. The thoughtful reader will want to taste the surface—to roll it around the tongue, so to speak, then let the ideas breathe. It takes time to fully digest the philosophical underpinnings and the wonders beneath the surface of each story, and that’s what we’re trying to provide.”

Equally artful and distinctive are the presentation formats favored by Aio. The publishing house recently won an award for its design work on Ian R. MacLeod’s novel The Summer Isles. The design was honored at the 2005 Chicago Book and Media Show, where it took top honors in the general trade category. “We’d like to push ourselves to another level with Zoran’s works, something along the lines of the quality of The Summer Isles,” says Patrick Jonas, the house’s art director, “but a bit more innovative, to match the uniqueness of the author.”

In Seven Touches of Music, seven stories revolve around music as a shared theme: a teacher of autistic students, an ordinary librarian, the buyer of a music box from a consignment store, an elderly woman in a train station, a retired scientist-turned-painter, a dying professor, and a violin-maker’s apprentice each privately encounter music in a uniquely powerful experience. In Impossible Encounters, six men in separate stories face either an impossible choice or a stunning revelation delivered by a stranger, only to find that despite his choice, his fate does not lie in his own hands. And in Steps Through the Mist, five women separately encounter time or reality twisted to startling effect.

Zivkovic and the publishing house were first connected through reader and critic William Thompson, who recommended the author to Aio after receiving a copy of The Summer Isles. The sale was made through Zivkovic’s literary agent, John Jarrold.

This is great news, in that Zoran's works will now be readily available to U.S. audiences. I've read all the above books (with the exception of Music) and have to say they're quite good, and also unusual in tone and approach to the fantastic, taking a slipstreamish/magical realism approach. It's great that more people will be able to find his work now--I mean, the English editions from Polaris were nice and distinctive, but only devoted fans of Zivkovic even knew they existed.

The other news comes via Infinity Plus, a vibrant British SF site that knows good literature when it sees it:

Talented Dreamer: an appreciation of the fiction of Zoran Zivkovic
by Tamar Yellin

Every philistine who questions what art is for should be hit over the head with a book by Zoran Zivkovic and then made to read it. The blow won't do much damage--Zivkovic is a master of concision who never wastes words or pages--but the reading might do some good. It might not, of course (philistinism is the most intractable of bigotries), but it's always worth a try, and Zivkovic himself is nothing if not an optimist.

Of course, one could make use of his fat compendium, Impossible Stories, due out in February 2006 from PS Publishing. A lusciously beautiful edition with an introduction by Paul Di Filippo and cover art by Hawk Alfredson, it contains his first five collections, Time Gifts, Impossible Encounters, Seven Touches of Music, the World Fantasy Award-winning The Library and Steps Through the Mist. Its appearance is cause for celebration, not only among Zivkovic's existing devotees but for those who will now have the opportunity to enjoy his wonderful storytelling for the first time.

Those earlier collections, or story-suites, or mosaic novels (the latter term is probably the most appropriate, since in each case the stories are deftly The Fourth Circle by Zoran Zivkovic linked to create a narrative and thematic whole), produced in a rush of inspiration after the completion of his first novel, The Fourth Circle, between 1997 and 2003, together form what I would call the first phase of Zivkovic's fiction. Teasing and clever, fantastical, witty and dark, they get the reader thinking but wear their deep themes lightly; they are mysterious, sometimes even enigmatic, but always accessible. With his later works--Hidden Camera (just out from Dalkey Archive Press), Compartments, Four Stories Till the End and Twelve Collections and The Teashop (the first two of these being available in PS Publishing's Postscripts magazine, and the last forthcoming in 2006) he has entered a new phase--more surreal, more elusive, more challenging and more strange.

And there's much more in the Infinity Plus article. So, now that you can buy these books, you should. Now. Everyone on your Christmas list you haven't bought anything for yet? Here's your answer.

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Cool! Now how about MechaKong vs. MechaGodzilla?

I was doing some online Googling for research into my Godzilla: Final Wars review, when I stumbled across this gem from Godzilla special effects director Koichi Kawakita regarding a proposed rematch between Godzilla and King Kong:

DM: Toho recently gave some consideration to producing a movie in which Godzilla was going to face MechaniKong, but the studio could not obtain permission to use the robot. What was the film going to be like? (MechaniKong appears in KING KONG ESCAPES (1967).)

KK: Toho wanted to pit Godzilla against King Kong because KING KONG VS. GODZILLA (1962) was very successful. However, the studio thought that obtaining permission to use King Kong would be difficult. So, it instead decided to use MechaniKong. Soon afterward, it was discovered that obtaining permission even to use the likeness of King Kong would be difficult. So, the project was canceled. (KING KONG VS. GODZILLA was more successful in Japan than any of the other Godzilla movies.)

MechaniKong was going to have injectors. A number of people were going to be injected into Godzilla while the robot was wrestling with him. They then were going to do battle with Godzilla from within while MechaniKong continued to do battle with him from without.

There were going to be many different strange worlds inside Godzilla. The concept was very much like the one on which FANTASTIC VOYAGE (1966) was based.

Ah, what could've been! I'm already miffed at the discovery that Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster was originally intended to be a King Kong film. The assertation elsewhere that Ted Turner owned the rights to Kong and demanded too much money for the rights is somewhat baffling, as the original novelization of the King Kong movie is in the public domain, and anyone can base any derivative work on that at no cost, as long as the movie is not specifically referenced. Certainly MechaKong (or MechaniKong as is sometimes referenced) has no connection with the original 1933 film, and should be fair game for Toho. Go figure.

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The cutthroat world of six-man football

I'm tellin' you, folks, you can't make this stuff up:

Looking back now, it should have been obvious that something was amiss about the adult football team that Texas Christian School fielded three weeks ago in Austin.

Not to mention the tattoos.

"Some of the guys had tattoos and full beards and looked like they were like 25," Not Your Ordinary School senior running back David Johnson said of his opponents that Oct. 28 afternoon. "At the time, we thought they were just sort of big.

"Now we see why they looked so old."

It turns out Johnson and his team unwittingly played a six-man team made up of college-age players, coached by Texas Christian's Herc Palmquist. The Texas Christian varsity team was told the game had been canceled and they had the night off.

Instead, Palmquist brought eight college-age players to play what he called a "pickup game," which NYOS won 28-18.

You've gotta love the coach from a Christian school who brings in 20-year-old ringers to beat up on teens. After all, Jesus loves winners and had $20 bucks riding on the outcome. Texas Christian School kicks ass!

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Christmas come early

Just when you thought the world was safe from Voices of Vision reviews, RevolutionSF goes and prints a new one. Yay!

The book is 194 pages, and that's good and bad. The interviews are conversational. Blaschke manages to keep the interviewees focused on the topics at hand. So he doesn't just turn the recorder on and let the writer go, even with Harlan Ellison. Several of the interviews were too short — I could have stood to hear more from Jack Williamson and Elliot S! Maggin. None of these interviews are designed as seminal, autobiographical talks, but conversations, so you may not get everything you want from each individual.

Highlights for me:

Blaschke asks Kristine Kathryn Rusch about her work on Star Trek novels and his legitimate surprise at a response of hers: "You're allowed to use real science in them?"

Scott Edelman details his attempts to stop writing like Stan Lee after working at Marvel Comics. Patricia Anthony talks about seeing ball lightning. Scott Kurtz credits inspiration to Bloom County's Berke Breathed, saying Breathed introduced him to "cruel and sharp wit."

Of course, Harlan Ellison can be counted on for outrageous, hilarious pro wrestling-style rants (He's asked here about the difference between Harlan Ellison "the writer" and "the event.") He details his time working on Babylon 5. He notes that Ivanova actress Claudia Christian "fired herself."

Several of the interviews were done as many as seven years ago, but none seem dated. And it's enjoyable to see interviews in a setting that isn't sycophantic. There are no whiffle-ball questions designed to get the creator to pat himself on the back about his creative process. Blaschke doesn't grill his subjects, but he doesn't shy from asking Neil Gaiman, for instance, about the Todd McFarlane/Miracleman lawsuit.

And there's more where that came from, so hie thee over to the site and read the whole thing. I strongly doubt there will be more VoV reviews forthcoming in the near future (other than the promised Asimov's one pending in early 2006) but that's cool. I doubt I'll ever come close to producing any book that generates the seemingly universal good will this one has.

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Goodness gracious me!

So last night Lisa and I are talking about what Christmas gifts we can give certain people on our list who are traditionally difficult to shop for, and the possibility of giving bottles of my homebrewed mead as gifts. Specifically, either my Holiday Spice Metheglin or my Raspberry Melomel. I'd tried some of the metheglin a few months back, and it was still a little wild. Not to mention the sediments in the bottles weren't all that aesthetically pleasing--at least not for a gift. But what of the melomel? I hadn't touched any of the stuff since last Christmas, and wasn't sure how it had aged. So I put one in the fridge to sample later that evening.



WOW! Talk about hitting the jackpot--smooth and fruity, with just a hint of sweetness (but not so much to make it syrupy) and enough acid to balance the whole package. And--get this--somehow, some way, fermentation hadn't stopped. I thought at bottling that everything was all bubbled out, but apparently those raspberries still had a wee bit o' sugar left in them. So the melomel I poured, to my surprise, wasn't a still mead at all, but rather a sparkling mead with a delightful little fizz to it. I'd only planned on a tiny taste, but the stuff was so good I ended up drinking half the bottle. It was that good.

The problem now, of course, is that I don't want to give any of it away, Christmas or no. It's mine, I tells ya! Mine! All mine!

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Northern Iowa 40, Texas State 37

This has been an amazing year for the Bobcat football team, and head coach David Bailiff is to be commended for all that he's accomplished in a spectacular two-year turnaround. I just hope the coaching staff learns two lessons for the future:

1) Never let the opposing team's failure to convert a two-point conversion prompt you to attempt an unnecessary two-point conversion in the third quarter. Dennis Franchione lost a game for A&M because of an ill-advised two-point try earlier this season, and it's safe to say the Bobcats weren't watching that game when it happened, otherwise they'd have kicked the PAT and won this thing in regulation tonight.

2) When you have the ball on your 30 yard line with three time outs and 1:24 left on the clock, don't kneel the ball to force overtime. Not when a field goal will win it for you. Too many uncontrollable elements in OT to make that a safe gamble.

Other than that, great season 'Cats. It's definitely something to build on and be proud of.

Now Playing: Varioius 25 Classical Masterpieces vol. 1

Return to Rocky Beach, Calif.

A post by Jaquandor the other day got me thinking. He mentioned that movement finally seemed to be picking up on the long-rumored Encyclopedia Brown movie, and reminisced a bit on reading those old mysteries as a kid. I did, too, back in the day. But I never really got that into Encyclopedia Brown. They were interesting, in a way, but to me they always came across as more than a little stagnant. They held little thrill for me.

Shortly after I passed through my brief Encyclopedia Brown phase, though, lighting did strike--in the form of Jupiter Jones, Pete Crenshaw and Bob Andrews. The Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators series made a huge impression on me growing up, in 4th, 5th and 6th grade. I don't recall our school library having any Hardy Boys books, but it had almost the entire run of the Three Investigators up to that time, and I remember racing my friends to the stacks, trying to find the next one in the series before my friends snatched it up. So while the girls in the class were reading The Truth About Fonzie, we were fantasizing about becoming the next generation of Sam Spades. With all these memories flooding back, I did what any red-blooded American juvenile would do these days: I Googled. And lo and behold, I found websites aplenty: The Three Investigators Collectors Site and Tunnel Two for those folks already well-versed in the arcane lore of mysterious goings-on at Jones' Salvage, and the obligatory Wikipedia entry, which gives a quick and dirty rundown of everything you need to know to get up to speed. Very cool.



The first of the series I ever read was The Mystery of the Stuttering Parrot, and boy, was it a corker. The cover art by Ed Vebell didn't really match the character descriptions--the protagonists all look like Puerto Ricans here--and for my money, the phenomenal Harry Kane was the definitive Three Investigators artist. His interior illustrations defined the books in more ways than one. But that's beside the point. Wow, was the story ever inventive. A guy (I can't remember if he was bad or good anymore) had essentially taught a coded treasure map to a variety of parrots. Each one had memorized one part of the map, disguised as random sayings. A macaw, for instance, misquoted Shakespeare by saying "To- to- to be, or not to- to- to be?" Hence, the eponymous stuttering parrot. But the stutter was intentional, and actually turned out to be an address. Clever, huh? Each bird's clue built upon the previous, and only when taken together would the location of the treasure be revealed. When the bad guys beat the boys to the final birds, all seems lost until the Investigators realized that the mynah bird--the only one they managed to keep away from their opponents--not only held a critical piece to the puzzle, but had memorized all the other parrots' clues as well. That was some pretty deft plot twisting, I have to admit.



The first 10 books in the series were written by Robert Arthur, who died in 1969 after handing the reins of the series over to William Arden, who wrote the lion's share of the series books for the next two decades. Arden's style meshed very well with the voice Arthur had established in the titles up to that point, and he also paid close attention to continuity. The result was a fairly seamless transition. There was one distinct change in the books, however: Under Arden's pen, the dangers the boys faced grew more threatening, their challenges more perilous. Time actually passed in Rocky Beach, and situations changed for the boys. The great Jack Hearne cover art for Mystery of the Dead Man's Riddle above is a great example of the amped-up tension. Like Encyclopedia Brown, the Three Investigators relied on their brains to solve their mysteries. But unlike the smug and static brown, they often had to get physical in order to survive long enough to solve the mystery.



I'd always thought the series would make an excellent one-hour TV mystery series, and was baffled as to why during the series' popular heyday in the '70s nobody attempted to do one. After all, the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew made brief but memorable splashed back then. So imagine my surprise when I stumbled across this movie audition notice for a Three Investigators film version of The Secret of Skeleton Island. Then I read some of the casting description:

Chris: 10-12, Hispanic. She's stowed away on Skeleton Island, where her father is currently working on the new amusement park. She and the other indigenous people of the island are not thrilled by the disruptive new development, which threatens their ancestral way of life. When her father falls afoul of the law for a crime he did not commit, Chris turns to The Three Investigators for help in her predicament, and later finds herself running for her life from a murderous adversary.

In all honesty, that doesn't sound much at all like the book I remember. There's an old carnival, I think, but the plot revolves around a disrupted movie shoot. There's certainly no girl named Chris. The book had some distinctly evocative scenes, however. A key plot point was a local legend that a pirate had hidden his treasure on the island, but died before he could tell anyone its location. His only clue was that the treasure was "in Davy Jones' grasp." In a clever bit of wordplay, a tidal cave hidden an outcropping of rock (the "hand") conceals the treasure, only the boys are trapped in said cave with the tide coming in, which renders their discovery rather moot if they can't find an escape. That's a suspenseful scene I'd dearly love to see on the big screen, but Hollywood being Hollywood, I expect they'd dump it in favor of a speedboat chase reminiscent of Thunderball.

I eventually lost interest in the series during junior high. I'd kept reading them even after I outgrew their targetted age bracket because I loved the characters and the mysteries--again, mostly by Arden--were well done. Until. Sigh. In 1979, The Secret of Shark Reef was published, and this proved to be the last Arden book. In 1981, M.V. Carey replaced Arden with the publication of The Mystery of the Scar-Faced Beggar, and things quickly went downhill. Alfred Hitchcock had died a few years previously, so his role in the books was unceremoniously replaced by the ill-constructed fictional mystery author Hector Sebastian. I remember this abrupt imposition of a new framing setup confused the heck out of me even though I considered myself a pretty astute reader. Hector Sebastian simply served no purpose in the narrative. But that wasn't the bad part. Under Carey's unsteady hand, the Three Investigators lost all vestiges of personality. Jupiter Jones, the leader with a photographic memory, forgot basic facts and was confused and misled easily. Bob and Pete did dumb things to complicate matters. Character actions made no logical sense. Essentially, the idiot plot ruled the day--the characters did things because the author made them, rather than said actions growing out of the story. I tried two more of Carey's books--Wandering Cave Man I think was one. Or maybe not. Perhaps Blazing Cliffs. Doesn't really matter, because they both sucked. Continuity was ignored. Character was ignored. Cookie-cutter plots were churned out, with only the names slapped onto the characters giving clue that these were in the same series as the books from way back when. It doesn't surprise me that the series was cancelled less than six years later as sales collapsed--the product was terrible, plain and simple.

I still have a handful of my old Three Investigator books around here somewhere. Some were even the ones I'd originally read, having the good fortune to pick them up in a library book sale some years after I'd stopped reading them. Nostalgia's a fun thing, sometimes. I wouldn't mind trying my hand at writing some books in the series, but seeing as how I haven't ever written mysteries, and that Random House shows no interest in reviving the books, that's not something I'm about to lose sleep over. But still, it's fun to dream.

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Eek! Eek!

I've published a new story over at RevolutionSF, Mikal Trimm's Of Mice and Melody. It's a weird, fun piece. Of course, Trimm's an Austin-area writer, so that's to be expected.



I've also got some more goodies planned for the coming weeks, including a story riffing on a certain 8,000-pound gorilla that's about to take movie theaters by storm. So stay tuned!

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Announcement of a personalish nature

Well, I've put this off as long as possible, so I might as well share with everyone at once. Lisa's pregnant, and due in a few months. It's a boy, our first, and we're wondering how the family's going to adjust to that. I mean, we've just now got this whole "raising girls" thing down. In any event, here's an ultrasound image from a few weeks back:



So, big changes coming up in the Blaschke household. Calista and Keela are bouncing off the walls with excitement, Lisa's uncomfortable because the kid keeps kicking her liver up into her throat, and I'm having to bite my tongue a lot when people keep saying, "Aren't you glad you're finally having a boy?" as if Calista and Keela were mere consolation prizes. Comes with the territory, I suppose. But yeah, another little one gracing our abode. Definitely nervous. And excited. Nervous and excited.

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Pelican!

This morning I took the girls over to Landa Park for a couple of hours. We were walking along the Comal River, watching the dozens upon dozens of ducks and geese swimming in the chilly spring waters, not to mention a half-dozen nutria and some very bright red crawfish. One bright white bird was particularly impressive because of its enormous size. I thought to myself, "That's one big goose." White with black wing feathers... and then I realized it had a long yellow beak with a throat-pouch.

There was a white pelican swimming with the ducks and geese, just as happy as could be, more than 200 miles from the coast. Wow. Amazing the things one sees when the camera's at home.

Now Playing: Various Classical Masterpieces vol. 2

Of apes and lizards

Tonight I saw the Dateline NBC sneak of the new Peter Jackson King Kong. While I'm still very dubious about casting Jack Black in such a prominent role, I'm more and more convinced that Naomi Watts is the most inspired bit of casting in the history of film. Not only does she look period, she out-Fay Wrays the orginal Fay Wray. I wasn't much of a fan before, but I think I am now. And, wonder of wonders, I can't believe how much of the dinosaur fights they showed on the program. I'm still disappointed in Jackson's decision to substitute the pack of Allosaurus in his original script for Tyrannosaurus (Allosaurus being my favorite extinct dino) but still. Wow. Somewhere, Mark Finn is going spastic. Speaking of which, the old monkeyboy has his own Kongish media project ready to roll:

At the cineplex this holiday season, the 800-lb. gorilla – make that 8,000-lb. gorilla – is Peter Jackson's little remake about the ape that scaled the Empire State, King Kong. But here in Austin, the simian sovereign of Skull Island will also be heard beating his chest in a live theatrical presentation. The Violet Crown Radio Players, those intrepid devotees of 1930s audio drama who brought us staged radio versions of The War of the Worlds and It's a Wonderful Life, among others, are mounting what they're calling the "lost" radio adaptation of King Kong, as produced for the Lux Radio Theater by Cecil B. DeMille. Whether that's indeed a nugget of forgotten history or a whopper the size of our monumental monk we'll leave for you to decide, but VCRP Creative Director Mark Finn has indeed cobbled together a script for Kong as radio drama, adapted from a novelization of the 1933 film that's now in the public domain.

And on top of all this, I got in my review copy of the Godzilla: Final Wars DVD the other day. I've always been more of a Big G fan than a Kong fan, although I really get into both. This latest Godzilla flick is... different from previous efforts. There are some things about it that are impossibly cool, and other things that are so cheesy you could keep Pizza Hut in business for years with it. Those expecting Destroy All Monsters will likely be let down, but folks who've said "Godzilla movies should be more like The Matrix" will want to reserve their copies now. My full review will be coming in a week or so, but man, this is one trippy Godzilla film.

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Book signing on campus

I had a book signing today at the university bookstore on campus, which I just realized I forgot to mention here. I hope nobody holds it against me.

For the most part, it was a typical booksigning. Patrons edged past us warily, a few brave ones asking "Did y'all write these books?" Mostly, the authors talked among themselves--I had the advantage of knowing James McWilliams and Eileen Morrison already through my job. A few folks picked up my "Suggested Reading List." One person already had a copy, bought previously from the local Hastings ("So you're the one!" I accused. That cheap joke got laughs). I even sold a copy to an interested passer-by. Pretty typical, in my experience.

The good news is that the professor who teaches the undergrad and graduate "Science Fiction Literature" class stopped by to talk. A big Delaney fan, she found my interview collection intriguing and would be willing to consider it as a course book--only Nebraska's online academic review copy request system seems to be on the fritz, and she hasn't been able to request one. I promised I'd look into it on my end. And I will, too. Landing an assigned text gig for the book would do wonders for my sales figures--particularly if I can get it into several classes. And, to top it off, the prof expressed interest in my planned follow-up volume as wel. Joy!

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