How to avoid writing whilst enjoying physical exhaustion

Those of you keeping score at home may recall that last year, due to a variety of reasons (crappy neighbors), we decided to move. This was not undertaken lightly, and once we put the house on the market, I had to come to terms with leaving my maturing backyard orchard and my lovely, lovely office. We found a buyer almost immediately, to our surprise. That kinda went smoothly, except for a few hiccups that were more annoying than deal-threatening. That should've clued us in that things were moving too smoothly, and the universe was set to right the scales. We found what we thought was our dream house on 7 acres of rural land with an adjacent garage (with apartment) that seemed perfect for The Wife's permanent photography studio. To make a long story short, with a limited amount of time, we negotiated a deal on the house that would give us just enough time to move out of the old one and into the new one without being homeless. Then the inspection happened. We were suddenly facing the very real prospect of homelessness. Ouch. After a mad scramble, we returned to a house we'd looked at before that was (at that time) out of our price range. A deal was done, and after some creative contracting, we moved in with no time to spare.

Which brings us to now. Or rather, the six months between then and now. Got that? The biggest "must have" of the whole house hunt was potential studio space for Lisa on Location. The plan was to close down the small studio space in New Braunfels (which Lisa'd outgrown almost as soon as she'd opened) and apply that studio rent to the new mortgage to make all the numbers work. The new home had a five-car garage, or more precisely, a two-car garage plus a three-car garage that'd been added on sometime in the past decade. Why? Dunno. But it offered potentially great studio space. This is what we started with:

Doesn't look so bad, right? Wrong. Those cabinets along the wall there? Utter garbage. The previous owners must've scavenged them form abandoned sharecroppers shacks, not bothering to remove the mud dauber and rat nests. And they were thoughtful enough to make them well nigh impossible to remove. But remove we did:

Then there was the attic area. You might think they couldn't store much in an unfinished attic--a bunch of bare rafters, really. You'd be wrong again. There were ruined golf club bags, old shoes, what may have been a soccer goal at one point, a kind of wooden putting green covered in astroturf, some type of tent/pavilion that had large sections missing... Basically, anything they'd ever spent money on that broke, they shoved up there. Because, hey, they spent money on it, so it's worth something. Although it wasn't worth enough to take with them when they departed. Once we got all of that cleaned out--which took until the end of December, pretty much constant work--I began installing drywall to the ceiling, along with an attic ladder. Lisa installed insulation to the walls. This took us through the end of January into February, and I'd still be at work on that ceiling if my brother, Chris, hadn't lent me the use of his drywall hoist. Then Lisa and I tackled the floor. Apparently, the previous owners used this garage space exclusively for storing massive oil leaks and rust puddles that don't willingly come out of concrete. But at least we tried.

At this point I feel compelled to point out I've gotten no original writing done during this period. None, nada, zip. I'd landed a contract with a publisher for the Chicken Ranch book, and spent a little time here and there cleaning up the copy and making a handful of sensible changes they'd requested in order to have the manuscript ready for the March deadline we'd agreed on. And then I walked away from the deal because of some nasty clauses in the contract the publisher refused to negotiate. To escape the emotional devastation, I threw myself into installing the drywall on the walls. Brickwork is something beyond my skill set, so we hired a crew (not a terribly competent crew, it turns out) to install windows and brick in the front. A two-day job ended up taking two weeks. No joke.

After that, I built a partition wall for the dressing room and a storage area, taped the drywall, sanded, painted, installed lighting and trim (Lisa did the wallpaper) and a bunch of other stuff that took up far, far more time than expected. Far, far more money than expected as well. There's still things that need completing, but it gets so hot in the studio now that we're approaching summer that I'm holding off until next week when the air conditioning (hopefully) is installed. This is what a 95 percent complete boudoir/pin-up studio looks like:

Yes, that's a pole, for pole dancers. It's surprising how many women want to pose with one, so Lisa bought the portable model, which I get to set up and take down as needed.

Currently, I'm installing privacy fencing outside so that clients may come and go without trooping through our house and garage. Then I get to finish insulating the attic, which, all things considered, is another month of fairly constant work. Most weekday evenings I come home, eat dinner and then head into the studio around 6:30-7, finishing up around 11 p.m. That leads to a lot of muscle fatigue and sore joints, not to mention the fact that I don't smell too pleasant, either. Since that's my prime writing time, well, it's pretty clear to see why I've not been productive--especially considering the fact that Lisa's photography brings in far, far more income than my writing does). But the end is near. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. The finish line's in sight.

Which means that soon I'll be able to start work on my office, which shouldn't take more than another 6 months to complete.

Now Playing: The Kinks Arthur (or the Decline and Fall of the British Empire)
Chicken Ranch Central

House for sale. Comes book-ready

We've finally bitten the bullet and placed our house on the market for some lucky family to buy. The complete listing can be found here. And here's the Realtor.com listing: Click here.

We've lived here 11 years, which is the longest Lisa and I have lived any place that wasn't our hometown. The kids barely remember living in Temple. Bug has never lived anywhere else. We really like this house, and have put a lot of effort into making it our own over the years. Here's my office, below. One of the first things I did when we moved in was close it in and install floor-to-ceiling book shelves. I really, really wanted to include a ladder on rails, but I just couldn't justify it in the limited space.

Astute readers may notice there aren't actually that many books on my library's shelves. That's because probably 90 percent of my collection is boxed up in storage. That was a lot of boxes. Double-stacked, and horizontally stacked on top, those shelves held a great number of books. I'm damn proud of those shelves--especially since my father couldn't understand why I just didn't get some cinder blocks and plywood and save all that effort. Our new house will have a new office, and I'll build a new set of book shelves, bigger and better, but I'm not looking forward to the considerable effort involved, and I'm not going to miss these any less. Heck, I miss my office already. I wrote "Prince Koindrindra Escapes" in here. "The Whale Below." "Being an Account of the Final Voyage of La Riaza: A Circumstance in Eight Parts." I edited fiction for RevolutionSF in here. I put together Voices of Vision. Heck, the massive undertaking that is my Chicken Ranch history book was conceived and executed entirely in here. I did a tremendous amount of writing in this room, even if my publication history doesn't reflect it. This office is going to be hard to replace.

We never expected to stay here forever. We always planned on moving to a more rural area with acreage we could develop (and the girls have been begging for horses for a decade now). Lisa on Location is going great guns, so much so that Lisa's already outgrown her studio in the Landmark. We need more space, and need a much larger studio space in particular so her business may continue to grow. We've already scouted several potential houses in our price range, and several are promising... if we're able to sell before someone else buys them out from under us.

The house has been on the market five days, and already we've had four showings, with another scheduled for tomorrow. When we were trying to sell the Temple house--which we loved, even though it was old and drafty--we would sometimes go an entire month without a single showing. So the initial interest is encouraging. Moving is entirely dependent on a sale, as our down payment is tied up in our home equity. This raises the interesting prospect of having to move out before we've closed on a new home. That's a scary thought. But as I say, we'll burn that bridge when we come to it. If you know anyone in need of a New Braunfels home in easy commuting distance to San Antonio, San Marcos or even Austin, point them our direction.

Now Playing: Pink Floyd A Saucerful of Secrets
Chicken Ranch Central

The Big Brag

I've mentioned here a time or ten that The Wife has a photography business. She started her photographic journey back in college, and spent years as a photojournalist (as well as wearing other hats around the newsroom) before deciding several years ago that she'd turn pro. So we developed a business plan, launched a snazzy website and over the past couple of years invested in quite a few professional-grade camera bodies and lenses (and that doesn't begin to count the strobes, backdrops, props, software and computer tech necessary to operate a proper business).

She joined the two largest professional photography organizations, Professional Photographers of America and Wedding and Portrait Photographers International as well as the Texas Professional Photographers Association. It didn't take long for her to decide to take her photography to the next level. Last year, she declared her candidacy, studied a whole heck of a lot, and took the written exam at Imaging USA before turning in her 20-image portfolio for review by a panel of judges. She passed the written exam. She passed the judges' review.

Lisa On Location is now a Certified Professional Photographer!

Now Playing: Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here
Chicken Ranch Central

The photographer is now official

Wow. It seems like only yesterday, but it was two years ago that I sold off my Dr. Demento Show CD collection and bought my Canon Rebel XTi DSLR and vowed to learn how to be a halfways decent photographer. Skip forward a year, and The Wife--motivated by my modest growth as a photographer and the quality of my XTi--got her Canon 50D. Shortly thereafter, the idea of pursuing photography as a full-time career crystalized, and she began the long process of building up a network, attending seminars and shooting courses to hone her skill, and developing a business plan. Oh yeah, taking paying photography gigs as well. Late in 2009 she joined the Greater New Braunfels Chamber of Commerce, and it all came to a head yesterday.

Picture perfect grand opening for Lisa On Location photography

NEW BRAUNFELS – Lisa On Location photography celebrated its grand opening Feb. 24 with a ribbon-cutting and reception the Greater New Braunfels Chamber of Commerce building.

Lisa On Location, a full-service photography business serving the New Braunfels, San Antonio and Austin areas, is owned and operated by Lisa Blaschke. A selection of her portfolio was on display during the event, and her work can be viewed locally at Schobel’s Restaurant and the Family Birth Center.

"I'm so thrilled to be doing what I love," Blaschke said. "Photography has always been a passion -- first photojournalism and now portrait photography. And this area offers the perfect backdrops for portraits. I couldn't ask for a better setting or nicer people to work with."

A former photojournalist, Blaschke earned her B.S. from Texas A&M University and further honed her craft with the New York Institute of Photography. She currently teaches a popular course in digital photography course with New Braunfels ISD Community Education.

Lisa On Location specializes in weddings, events and portraiture in the photojournalistic style. Blaschke has a particular interest in maternity and nursing photography, as seen in her “Beauty of Motherhood” series, and was recently featured in the international magazine New Beginnings.

Lisa On Location is a state-certified Historically Underutilized Business (HUB) vendor, and is a member of Professional Photographers of America and a contributing photographer to the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation. For more information, visit www.LisaOnLocation.com or call (830) 481-3944.

For those of you unfamiliar with her, that's The Wife there in the center of the photograph, about to cut the ribbon with that humongous pair of scissors. And that's Monkey Girl to the left, eying those same scissors and thinking "I've got to get me some scissors like that!" Lisa On Location is now an official, for true, ongoing business concern. Need professional photography? Now you know where to turn.

Now Playing: Johnny Cash The Essential Johnny Cash

Another photo shoot

The Wife has gotten so good with her photography skills--she attends conferences and learning seminars with nationally-prominent photographers on a regular basis--that I can often feel like dead weight on her career. I am supposed to be her second shooter/backup for Lisa on Location, but it's no great desire of mine to be a great talent drop-off when called upon to shoot. So every so often I manage to squeeze in a shooting session, to keep those photography muscles lubricated and the mind sharp. It also has the added benefit of giving me a break from all the Chicken Ranch work I'm doing, which (believe it or not) can get pretty onerous.

In any event, I met up with Taylor Bentley Monday evening for a night shoot in San Marcos. She'd been known for her long, flowing blonde hair, but had gotten it cut some months back. We wanted to do a shoot to capture that different look, and the idea of a 1920s flapper came to mind. Well, life intervenes, and we didn't get to shoot as soon as we'd have liked, and her hair isn't quite so short anymore. But we managed to get some fun shots anyway.



We did a night shoot for a couple of reasons. First, evenings were the only times either of us could ever find any free time, but secondly, I've been playing with off-camera lighting and shooting at night gave me the opportunity to take more control over the visual look of the piece. Plus, a night shoot lent itself to establishing more of a glamorous, roaring 20s speakeasy type of mood. A 1928 Hudson or Desoto sedan would've served as the perfect set piece, but alas, on a shoestring budget you can't always swing luxuries like that. I was doing good to get the martini glass.



I didn't have as many keeper shots as I'd have hoped. Focusing in low-light conditions is problematic, and I'm not quite comfortable enough in these kinds of shoots to effectively direct the model and manage consistently good composition. That comes with practice. But overall, I'm happy with some of the shots that I did get, and hopefully, Taylor is as well.

Now Playing: Sheena Easton The World of Sheena Easton

So... the wedding

I've said it before, but it bears repeating: If someone suggests that simultaneously being in a wedding, riding herd on three kids and photographing said wedding in an official capacity is a good idea... it isn't. Can't say as I recommend that degree of multitasking. It's Wednesday, and I'm still exhausted.

The wedding itself was very nice. My brother John and his bride Tami were perfect hosts. More importantly, they enjoyed themselves. With all the stress they were under planning this thing in the months leading up to it, there was real concern they'd have a heart attack, mental breakdown or both. But starting Friday with the rehearsal, they were in full-on blissful enjoyment mode. Which is the way it should be. All of our extended families were there (and got along) and friends and acquaintances from all over attended, having themselves a grand old time from what I could tell. I ate and drank and fixed flat tires and chased little ones and on more than one occasion I slipped away from the wedding party to take pictures. Here's one I'm particularly pleased with, of the ceremony inside the new St. Mary's Catholic Church in Fredericksburg.



I also managed to work in a few infrared photographs. No, none of the wedding party--we're not ready for something like that yet--but I got this nifty false-color image of the old St. Mary's Catholic Church in Fredericksburg, significant in the fact that this is where John proposed to Tami.



I'd like to point out that the old church was build in 1861, while the new church was "only" built in 1908. They're both mighty impressive buildings. The entire wedding gallery can be viewed at Lisa On Location.

Now Playing: Talking Heads More Songs About Buildings and Food

You go girl!

Time for a little bragging on The Wife. Monday was a rough day--she hit the wall with certain folks, people more than willing to take advantage of her photography as long as they didn't actually have to pay her for her services. Some things were said that really cut her deep, and the saddest thing is that the folks doing the talking had not the slightest clue they'd said anything insulting, demeaning or offensive. But it established, unequivocally, that they had no regard for her beyond what they could mooch.

The Wife, to her credit, responded aggressively. Not against the dolts, since they are lost causes. Instead, she dove into negotiations with the local Chamber of Commerce and came away with a high-profile deal for the use of one of her signature photos. She also pressed forward on another deal to display her work in a local restaurant. That's two impressive achievements right there. But the latest--and perhaps greatest--initiative of hers is a photo essay she's pitched to La Leche League International for their monthly magazine. The Wife is deeply passionate about her involvement in breastfeeding advocacy, and when the children were younger, wanted tasteful, stylish photos done of her nursing them. Unfortunately, my photo skills were non-existent back then, and studios looked upon such an idea as more akin to sleaze than anything else. Now that she's got her own studio, motherhood, pregnancy and nursing photography have become some of her signature subjects, and I have to say she's damn good at it. In particular, she's developing a series of glamour nursing photos (recall that famous Annie Leibovitz portrait of Jerri Hall nursing her infant son) with the ultimate goal of publishing a book. Some of the creative ideas she has simply ooze irony, and her eyes light up whenever she talks about it. All of this would be featured in the article, which would go out to women worldwide who are the target audience for this project. Very, very cool.

The Wife isn't Leibovitz-famous yet, but the time's coming. Check out her website at http://www.lisaonlocation.com/ so you can say "I knew her when..."

Now Playing: Dr. Love & the Erogenous Zones Dr. Love & the Erogenous Zones

The Wife's new business cards

The lovely and talented Wife has new lovely and talented business cards. She shot the art herself, and did the design work. A mighty fine looking business card is the result. I look at this, and think to myself, "Self, who in their right mind wouldn't beg her to shoot their wedding?" Not too many people.



That's "Lisa on Location" photography, folks, in case you missed the subtle, subliminal hints...

Now Playing: Brian Wilson Imagination

Wedding crashers

This past weekend we had a wedding shoot. The Wife, who has opened up her own photography studio, Lisa On Location, has some weddings scheduled on the horizon. The trouble is, despite quite a few bridal and engagement shoots, she's never shot a live wedding. So I touched base with our old buddy http://www.andersphoto.com>Don and he agreed to let her tag along as a second shooter.

To make a long story short, at the last minute plans changed and I was free to go along as well. A third shooter, if you will. That was overkill for this wedding--it was a small affair in a tiny church--but opportunity is opportunity, and it gave us both the chance to watch Don's people management skills, which are unsurpassed.

Since I was literally the third wheel, I had to function with what was available. The Wife had the fast Tamron zoom and Speedlite flash, which left me shooting with the fastest lens I own, the Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 mark I, natural light only. Let me tell you, that was a challenge. The 50mm was perfect for some of the shots, but many times I desperately needed a zoom to go wider or longer in the narrow confines of that country church. I shot aperture priority, wide-open, but realized halfway through the ceremony that some shots had shutter speeds as slow as 1/15 of a second, which practically guarantees blur from camera shake. Grr. On the LCD screen on the back of my camera the images looked fine--it wasn't until I blew them up that the shake became obvious. So I set the camera to full manual and finish out the wedding.

I was convince that out of the 200-plus shots I'd taken, the vast majority would be worthless. Imagine my delight when I found far more usable shots than expected. Now, I didn't get as many keepers as Don or The Wife, but I did better than anticipated. Set me up with a fast zoom lens and I'd do some serious damage. I still need to go through and edit my "keepers" though, so we'll see if I'm still as positive after I've slaved away on Photoshop for a while.

Now Playing: Billy Joel Glass Houses

Bluebonnet shoot

The Wife had a photo workshop Sunday, a "trash-the-dress" style bridal shoot in a bluebonnet field in Brenham. This is in support of her nascent photography business, Lisa on Location. The general concept behind this kind of photography workshop is that photographers pay a modest participation fee and, after a minimal amount of tips and photographic instruction from the event organizers, are turned loose to flex their picture-taking prowess on a bevy of models assembled for said event. The "trash the dress" aspect involves shooting the bride in informal situations where the dress isn't kept in a necessarily pristine condition. In real life, such "trash the dress" shoots are normally scheduled some time after the wedding, for obvious reasons.

This was a homecoming of sorts for The Wife, since her first job out of college was working for the Brenham Banner-Press. She doesn't hold a wealth of fond memories for the job (although I did learn--much to my surprise after 13 years of marriage--that she is the reporter who broke the story of Blinn College disbanding its national champion track team) which ended after approximately a year when the publisher eliminated her position in order to buy himself a new car. Yeah.

So she and I get up absurdly early to make out way to Brenham, leaving the kids in the care of a grandmother. We arrive as the sun is peeking above the trees, and are heartened somewhat by the fact the fields are more scenic than Google maps had led us to believe (they were bordered on three sides by Wal Mart, Home Depot and La Quinta, you see). There are roughly 15 models total, but it was hard to tell since many listed online as attending didn't show, and some who showed were never listed as participating. On top of this, only four or so women in their early 20s were actually modeling in wedding dresses. There were a number of teens who weren't doing wedding dresses, and the bulk of the models present were younger children available for family and youth bluebonnet shots. The one thing The Wife doesn't have need for at this point is kid portraits--she's already got far more than she can use on her website, and as it can be time-consuming working with children, ultimately that part just wasn't worth the hassle, so she ended up with relatively few kid shots.

The ratio of models to photographers, as stated by the event organizers, was roughly 1:1. But the bulk of these were children, and some of the children were siblings and a package deal. As the event was billed as a bridal shoot, guess what the bulk of the photographers were primarily interested in shooting? Four models in wedding gowns had clusters of photographers swarming them most of the time, stepping over each other and generally trying to stake out a good angle for the shot they wanted. That's not to say that the participating photogs weren't polite or professional. There were some good conversations to be had and most folks were in a good humor throughout the day. But it quickly became apparent that if you weren't aggressive, you wouldn't get your shots. The models responded to the loudest commands, and any photog meekly waiting their turn would get trumped by the next person with a camera that asserted themselves. Judging from the number of wedding dresses that were waiting to be worn in the dressing area, along with the number of adult models listed as attending but nowhere to be seen, it's hard to blame the organizers. I've dealt with scheduling models a fair bit in recent months, and "flakes"--that is, cancellations or no-shows--run about 50 percent. Apparently there are a lot of people who like to play at being models, but when it comes time to actually roll out of bed at 7 a.m., they'd rather just hit the snooze button.

I, by the way, wasn't shooting. The Wife had registered for the workshop, not I. Instead, I was relegated to the role of "Lensboy," packing the equipment, holding the reflector, offering suggestions and anything else that needed doing. As I'm holding the reflector to soften the shadows on one model's face, I commented to The Wife that it was interesting we had bright morning sunlight when the weather forecast had indicated it'd be overcast that day. Cue gale-force winds and heavy cloud cover. Temperatures dropped about 10 degrees, and what had started out as a balmy, breezy day quickly turned chill. The clouds acted a great light diffusers, but The Wife wanted a warmer look to the shots, so I held the gold reflector up as she bounced the on-camera flash off it. The effect was muted but perceptible. Of immediate concern to myself was the inclination of the huge reflector panel I was holding to whip off into the sky, kite-like, never to be seen again. The models had it worse, though. Those with long hair--ie most of them--fought a losing battle to keep it out of their faces. And pretty much all of them were wearing short, summer weather outfits that offered little protection against the chill weather. A few models simply packed it in once wind picked up and temperatures dropped. I can't say I blame them. Then, after an hour or so, the clouds abruptly rolled away and the brilliant sun came out again to screw up everyone's white balance. It didn't get any warmer, though.

It was interesting to observe the other photographers, as I was able to do since I wasn't shooting. The majority of photogs were shooting Canon, with Nikon, not surprisingly, making up the rest. I didn't see a singly Olympus, Pentax or Sony, which surprised me a little. Those other brands are distant also-rans behind the Big Two in terms of market share, but I know there are lots of photographers who use them to great effect in their photography. Just none who attended this workshop, apparently. I observed an array of Canon's top-of-the-line L series lenses in action, a smattering of mid-grade consumer glass and some basic kit lenses. One Canon shooter had a big Sigma telephoto zoom she was using. When I asked her about it, she got defensive, saying she couldn't afford the equivalent Canon lens and moved off before I could say anything else. I've been looking at Sigma's massive 150-500mm super zoom telephoto lens, mainly because there's noting else comparable to it and the price makes it attractive. I wanted to talk with the Sigma owner about her experiences with image quality and autofocus with her telephoto zoom, but obviously never got a chance. Rats.

Ultimately, we shot for two and a half hours, and The Wife got scads of good bridal portraits, a few glamour-style shots, some excellent senior portrait-style shots and a handful of kid shots taken when none of the older models were available. All in all, it was an interesting experience, and an educational one. We'd never participated in anything like this, and likely won't ever do a bridal again, although it could be fun for other specific themes (I know a few months back there was a pirate-themed shoot in Galveston on the tall ship Elissa). My biggest regret is that I didn't get to shoot any myself, but such is the lot of Lensboy.

Now Playing: Various artists Celtic Moods

Lisa On Location

Some of you may have noted my obsession with photography this past year. The selling off of my Dr. Demento CD collection to fund the purchase of a camera and lenses, the taking of classes at Texas State in the fall, and the relentless posting of various images I've taken--some in infrared, some not.

There's a reason for this. With The Bug getting bigger (seemingly by the minute) and edging ever closer to kindergarten, The Wife is looking towards building a career post-childcare. Her background's in journalism, like mine, but unlike me, she's always been involved in photography. Was pretty darn good at it, too, before drifting away once we had kids.

So. The Wife is opening a photography studio. Not a physical studio at this juncture, but a working, on-location endeavour. Portraits (families, children, etc.), maternity photography, senior portraits, bridals (including bridal boudoir), glamour photography, plus, of course, infrared landscapes and other such fine art imagery. It fell upon me to increase my photographic competence to the point where I'd be a capable assistant and second shooter when we reach the point of staffing weddings and the like.

Lest you harbor any doubts about the viability of this enterprise, The Wife has a website at Lisa on Location and maintains a blog as well. And we all know that if it's on the interwebs, it's pretty much official. Check out her portfolio. She's got some darn good stuff in there.

It goes without saying that if you know someone in central Texas looking for a photography, we'd appreciate your pointing them thisaway.

Now Playing: Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band Nine Tonight