Rory Harper has just emailed me to say Ellen Datlow is giving Tell and Leonardo's Hands Honorable Mentions in the 2006 Year's Best Fantasy & Horror (Vol. 19) anthology. Ellen does the selections for the horror component of that collection, so by extension, those two stories tend to the disturbing.
What does this have to do with me? Well, as the editor who published them originally (not to mention the fact that I badgered the authors mercilessly to let me do so) I find this some small vindication of my otherwise bleak and pointless existence.
Now Playing: Pandora Shadowfax radio
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Monday, November 28, 2005
Movies! Movies! Movies!
Through circumstances entirely too boring to recount, I saw a heck of a lot of theatrical movies over the weekend. The bad news is that most were pretty disappointing.
The first was "The Ice Harvest," starring Billy Bob Thornton and John Cusack who steal $2 million from a small-time mob boss (Randy Quaid) then have problems getting out of Wichita, Kansas when an ice storm hits. The flick was directed by Harold Ramis and heavily promoted as a comedy crime thriller. It's not. It desperately wants to be "Fargo" but doesn't come close. First off, it's not funny. There are a couple of ironic moments, and some absurd situations, but no laughs. It's mean and brutal in places, sort of seedy, but never quite enough to move it fully into the edgy crime film sub-genre. Mostly it's uncomfortable. Ultimately, it's not a bad film, but it's not going to make anyone react with more passion than "eh" either.
The next film I saw was "Zathura," the Jumanji-esque adventure where kids play a game that becomes real. Only this time it's set in a retro-cool science fiction universe, with rocket ships and cast-iron robots. Man, I give this one two thumbs way up. It speaks to me. The resolution with the stranded astronaut was pretty ham-fisted and could've been handled a lot more effectively. But still. You've got black holes, meteor storms and evil lizard-aliens opening fire on the space-going house with massive cannons then board in search of "meat"... This one's a winner. It deserves to be doing better in theatres than it is, but I, for one, will be getting the DVD.
I wanted to see the Johnny Cash biopic, "Walk the Line," but it was sold out. So instead I took in the Jennifer Anison and Clive Owen flick "Derailed." Big mistake. Two execs try to have an affair, but are interrupted by a nasty thug who abuses them physically then begins blackmailing them. The story was built around the "idiot plot," in which the narrative progresses only because the protagonists refuse to do the sensible thing and instead make the worst possible choice at every opportunity. A young daughter suffering from type I diabetes screamed out "plot device." I gave up on the depressing, bleak stupidity and walked out after 45 minutes and caught the last hour of "Jarhead." A "modern-day Platoon" is the easiest and most dismissive way to describe it offhand, but I thought it well-done and effective. I first saw Jake Gyllenhaal in "October Sky" and he continues to impress me. Not a film I'll devote to many repeat viewings, but one I definitely plan on watching all the way through someday.
Finally, Lisa and I caught "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." I felt that despite some spectacular scenes, it fell far short of "Prisoner of Azkaban." Of course, I felt the book the film was based on to be over-written, self-important and bloated. "Goblet of Fire" suffered from the same problems of the first two Potter films--trying to include too much, and doing nothing with those extraneous elements. Take the sleazy reporter from the Daily Prophet. She showed up, annoyed everyone, and had no bearing on the story. Her sub-plot was never addressed or wrapped up (and it was pretty weak in the book to begin with). The film's narrative would've been better served by cutting her completely and using that time saved to deal with crucial plot points... like, say explaining why Harry's parents appeared at the end of the film. As it is now, the only "explanation" is Dumbledore's non-answer of "no magic spell can bring back the dead." Huh? The circumstances of their re-appearance in the book--that Harry's and Voldemort's wands are "twins," each built around a phoenix feather from Fawkes--is pretty significant in that it explains how Harry survives yet again, not to mention building on the Harry/Voldemort duality that becomes more important in "Order of the Phoenix." Sloppy, careless writing. I will, however, give them credit for a nice plot twist on the "gillyweed" angle, taking a throwaway line from the book and building it so that Neville has a decent bit of screen time. Overall, it's an entertaining flick, but it's still a step back from the quality storytelling of Azkaban.
Now Playing: Pandora Stan Getz & Joao Gilberto radio
The first was "The Ice Harvest," starring Billy Bob Thornton and John Cusack who steal $2 million from a small-time mob boss (Randy Quaid) then have problems getting out of Wichita, Kansas when an ice storm hits. The flick was directed by Harold Ramis and heavily promoted as a comedy crime thriller. It's not. It desperately wants to be "Fargo" but doesn't come close. First off, it's not funny. There are a couple of ironic moments, and some absurd situations, but no laughs. It's mean and brutal in places, sort of seedy, but never quite enough to move it fully into the edgy crime film sub-genre. Mostly it's uncomfortable. Ultimately, it's not a bad film, but it's not going to make anyone react with more passion than "eh" either.
The next film I saw was "Zathura," the Jumanji-esque adventure where kids play a game that becomes real. Only this time it's set in a retro-cool science fiction universe, with rocket ships and cast-iron robots. Man, I give this one two thumbs way up. It speaks to me. The resolution with the stranded astronaut was pretty ham-fisted and could've been handled a lot more effectively. But still. You've got black holes, meteor storms and evil lizard-aliens opening fire on the space-going house with massive cannons then board in search of "meat"... This one's a winner. It deserves to be doing better in theatres than it is, but I, for one, will be getting the DVD.
I wanted to see the Johnny Cash biopic, "Walk the Line," but it was sold out. So instead I took in the Jennifer Anison and Clive Owen flick "Derailed." Big mistake. Two execs try to have an affair, but are interrupted by a nasty thug who abuses them physically then begins blackmailing them. The story was built around the "idiot plot," in which the narrative progresses only because the protagonists refuse to do the sensible thing and instead make the worst possible choice at every opportunity. A young daughter suffering from type I diabetes screamed out "plot device." I gave up on the depressing, bleak stupidity and walked out after 45 minutes and caught the last hour of "Jarhead." A "modern-day Platoon" is the easiest and most dismissive way to describe it offhand, but I thought it well-done and effective. I first saw Jake Gyllenhaal in "October Sky" and he continues to impress me. Not a film I'll devote to many repeat viewings, but one I definitely plan on watching all the way through someday.
Finally, Lisa and I caught "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." I felt that despite some spectacular scenes, it fell far short of "Prisoner of Azkaban." Of course, I felt the book the film was based on to be over-written, self-important and bloated. "Goblet of Fire" suffered from the same problems of the first two Potter films--trying to include too much, and doing nothing with those extraneous elements. Take the sleazy reporter from the Daily Prophet. She showed up, annoyed everyone, and had no bearing on the story. Her sub-plot was never addressed or wrapped up (and it was pretty weak in the book to begin with). The film's narrative would've been better served by cutting her completely and using that time saved to deal with crucial plot points... like, say explaining why Harry's parents appeared at the end of the film. As it is now, the only "explanation" is Dumbledore's non-answer of "no magic spell can bring back the dead." Huh? The circumstances of their re-appearance in the book--that Harry's and Voldemort's wands are "twins," each built around a phoenix feather from Fawkes--is pretty significant in that it explains how Harry survives yet again, not to mention building on the Harry/Voldemort duality that becomes more important in "Order of the Phoenix." Sloppy, careless writing. I will, however, give them credit for a nice plot twist on the "gillyweed" angle, taking a throwaway line from the book and building it so that Neville has a decent bit of screen time. Overall, it's an entertaining flick, but it's still a step back from the quality storytelling of Azkaban.
Now Playing: Pandora Stan Getz & Joao Gilberto radio
Saturday, November 26, 2005
That big ol' football game
Well, it's over. Another defeat to wrap up an otherwise dreary losing season. Sure, the Aggies put up a good fight, and may very well have upset the t-sips had it not been for that blocked punt and an ill-timed fumble there at the end, but still. A loss is a loss, and I don't take heart in moral victories. Coach Fran was hired at $2 million a year to win national championships, not put together two losing seasons in a three year period.
I'm not one of the potbangers that thinks Fran's contract should be bought out now. I believe every new coach deserves five years to make his system work, with his players. But Fran's made some terrible, ill-advised decisions regarding this football team, and I'm not talking about failing to go for two when you're only up by one.
Fran believed his own press clippings when he rode into College Station, I'm now convinced. He had his system, and thought he had the Midas touch. He didn't stop to think that the players A&M had weren't suited to that approach. This is painfully evident on the defense, where he and Carl Torbush blew up the traditional 3-4, linebacker-centric alignment A&M was legendary for (remember the Wrecking Crew anyone?) and threw the players into the 4-3. Torbush said at the time the defensive looks would be multiple, but I haven't seen that. Instead, we've had a defensive scheme that is built around down linemen, but A&M doesn't have the stockpile of down linemen needed to make it work. That's resulted in an over-worked rotation of defensive backs, which has resulted in one of the worst defensive units in the nation for three years running. Offensively, star quarterback Reggie McNeal broke nearly every school passing record last year, so what offensive approach do they take this year? Switch to an option attack, and force the senior QB to learn a whole new system, while exposing him to a greater chance of injury. McNeal was nowhere near as productive this year--nor were the receivers--because of this inexplicable change in focus. Stephen McGee, the second-string QB, started against the 'sips today, and played well. But he started only because McNeal was injured. And I'm not even going to address the inexplicable and persistent misuse of bruising running back Jovorski Lane this season.
Franchione took over a program that hadn't had a losing season since 1984, and has produced two in three years. He's on record as saying A&M, when he took over, was in better shape than any other school he's ever coached at. People complained that former coach R.C. Slocum's recruiting had slipped--and it had to a degree--but the 1999 class was ranked in the top 5 nationally, and the 2000-2002 classes were all top 20. That's not exactly a bare cupboard. No, through either hubris or naivete or both, Fran has blown up the foundation in place and set up for himself a rebuilding job from scratch. He may still turn things around, but close losses at home aren't going to do it. This is still the team that was blown out in the Cotton Bowl last year (a game the 7-5 Aggies did not deserve to play in), still the team that lost to Oklahoma 77-0, still the team that was blown out by Iowa-Frellin'-State at home just last month.
Were Slocum still coach, there's no doubt that A&M wouldn't have come within sniffing distance of a national championship these past three years. But by the same token, he wouldn't have mis-handled the talent available, either. A string of 7-5 and 8-4 seasons from Slocum isn't something that gets the fans whooping it up, but after another of Fran's 5-6 pratfalls, I wonder how many of those who actively campaigned for Slocum's dismissal would like to swap today's uninspired losing for yesterday's uninspired winning?
Now Playing: Prince Sign O' the Times
I'm not one of the potbangers that thinks Fran's contract should be bought out now. I believe every new coach deserves five years to make his system work, with his players. But Fran's made some terrible, ill-advised decisions regarding this football team, and I'm not talking about failing to go for two when you're only up by one.
Fran believed his own press clippings when he rode into College Station, I'm now convinced. He had his system, and thought he had the Midas touch. He didn't stop to think that the players A&M had weren't suited to that approach. This is painfully evident on the defense, where he and Carl Torbush blew up the traditional 3-4, linebacker-centric alignment A&M was legendary for (remember the Wrecking Crew anyone?) and threw the players into the 4-3. Torbush said at the time the defensive looks would be multiple, but I haven't seen that. Instead, we've had a defensive scheme that is built around down linemen, but A&M doesn't have the stockpile of down linemen needed to make it work. That's resulted in an over-worked rotation of defensive backs, which has resulted in one of the worst defensive units in the nation for three years running. Offensively, star quarterback Reggie McNeal broke nearly every school passing record last year, so what offensive approach do they take this year? Switch to an option attack, and force the senior QB to learn a whole new system, while exposing him to a greater chance of injury. McNeal was nowhere near as productive this year--nor were the receivers--because of this inexplicable change in focus. Stephen McGee, the second-string QB, started against the 'sips today, and played well. But he started only because McNeal was injured. And I'm not even going to address the inexplicable and persistent misuse of bruising running back Jovorski Lane this season.
Franchione took over a program that hadn't had a losing season since 1984, and has produced two in three years. He's on record as saying A&M, when he took over, was in better shape than any other school he's ever coached at. People complained that former coach R.C. Slocum's recruiting had slipped--and it had to a degree--but the 1999 class was ranked in the top 5 nationally, and the 2000-2002 classes were all top 20. That's not exactly a bare cupboard. No, through either hubris or naivete or both, Fran has blown up the foundation in place and set up for himself a rebuilding job from scratch. He may still turn things around, but close losses at home aren't going to do it. This is still the team that was blown out in the Cotton Bowl last year (a game the 7-5 Aggies did not deserve to play in), still the team that lost to Oklahoma 77-0, still the team that was blown out by Iowa-Frellin'-State at home just last month.
Were Slocum still coach, there's no doubt that A&M wouldn't have come within sniffing distance of a national championship these past three years. But by the same token, he wouldn't have mis-handled the talent available, either. A string of 7-5 and 8-4 seasons from Slocum isn't something that gets the fans whooping it up, but after another of Fran's 5-6 pratfalls, I wonder how many of those who actively campaigned for Slocum's dismissal would like to swap today's uninspired losing for yesterday's uninspired winning?
Now Playing: Prince Sign O' the Times
Thursday, November 24, 2005
A stuffed T-Day
I'm happy to report that the family survived another Thanksgiving. This year, we set out to the booming metropolis of Nordheim to spend the holiday at my paternal grandmother's. To the best of my recollection, I hadn't been there in 20 years, although there's a slight possibility I visited once while I was in college. Memories fade over time, I've learned. But once we reached the old farm house (the roads and terrain had changed over the years, but the old farm hadn't) lots of memories came flooding back. I got to see aunts and uncles again, not to mention my cousins, all of whom I'd seen rarely over the years until a family gathering at Fuddruckers in Katy last month. After eating entirely too much turkey and assorted foods, I took the girls to explore the brown, mesquite-and-cactus filled pastures. They chased cows. They got tractor rides. They tried to catch cats in the hay barn, just like I did decades ago. Aside from a missing tree here and a rebuilt workshop there, things really hadn't changed much at all. And Calista and Keela got to visit with both of their great-grandmothers:
They're really lucky, in that their great-grandmothers are in good enough health to get to know them. Counting Wanda Baugh, my birth-grandmother, they've got three great-grandmothers they've gotten to know well. When I was a child, my only surviving great-grandmother was Bruncie Majefski, on my mother's side. But she was sick and frail, and the fact that we visited her so often in the hospital or rest home scared me. I never got to know her. But the girls, they think it's great having all these extended grandparents.
Afterwards, on the way home, we stopped off at the Yorktown city park, which is wonderfully, delightfully and gloriously behind the times. All across Texas, from Columbus to Temple to New Braunfels, public playgrounds are scarred with eroded rings where generations of children's feet pounded circles in the ground while playing on merry-go-rounds. But these days, all the merry-go-rounds have been removed. "Too dangerous" is what they say. "Liability," they say. Saints preserve us from those who would bubble-wrap our children and stick them in a padded room for their own good. But in good old Yorktown, this enlightened 21st century thinking hasn't taken root. The parks has not one merry-go-round, but three. Not only that, but it has an honset-to-goodness jungle gym that's about 12 feet high. And if that wasn't enough, feast your eyes on this bit of wonder:
No, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you--it's a manually-operated ferris wheel! It's around 60 years old or so, because my mother rode on it when she was a child--she remembers long lines of kids waiting their turn on Saturday afternoons. It was packed away in storage for a long time, but when I was 10 or so--around 1980 maybe--it was refurbished and returned to the park, and I remember riding on it as a kid with my brothers. And speaking of my brothers, Chris isn't as light as he used to be:
Once we finished defying death and personal injury lawsuits at the park, we made one more stop, and my other grandmother's farm outside of Cuero, to feed her cows and donkeys, and to check up on my sister's horse. There's an Osage orange tree right outside our subdivision in New Braunfels, and we had gathered a bunch of the fallen horse apples for the family equine. Some horses supposedly turn their noses up at the odd green fruit, but that wasn't the case this time:
Even the donkeys wanted in on the action, helping themselves to some of the smaller ones that rolled off to the side. The citrus-melon scent of the fruit filled the air. My stomach started grumbling--it'd been almost five hours since lunch. I looked at the horse apples and though, "What the heck?"
Yum. Them's good eating!
Now Playing: Sheryl Crow Tuesday Night Music Club
They're really lucky, in that their great-grandmothers are in good enough health to get to know them. Counting Wanda Baugh, my birth-grandmother, they've got three great-grandmothers they've gotten to know well. When I was a child, my only surviving great-grandmother was Bruncie Majefski, on my mother's side. But she was sick and frail, and the fact that we visited her so often in the hospital or rest home scared me. I never got to know her. But the girls, they think it's great having all these extended grandparents.
Afterwards, on the way home, we stopped off at the Yorktown city park, which is wonderfully, delightfully and gloriously behind the times. All across Texas, from Columbus to Temple to New Braunfels, public playgrounds are scarred with eroded rings where generations of children's feet pounded circles in the ground while playing on merry-go-rounds. But these days, all the merry-go-rounds have been removed. "Too dangerous" is what they say. "Liability," they say. Saints preserve us from those who would bubble-wrap our children and stick them in a padded room for their own good. But in good old Yorktown, this enlightened 21st century thinking hasn't taken root. The parks has not one merry-go-round, but three. Not only that, but it has an honset-to-goodness jungle gym that's about 12 feet high. And if that wasn't enough, feast your eyes on this bit of wonder:
No, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you--it's a manually-operated ferris wheel! It's around 60 years old or so, because my mother rode on it when she was a child--she remembers long lines of kids waiting their turn on Saturday afternoons. It was packed away in storage for a long time, but when I was 10 or so--around 1980 maybe--it was refurbished and returned to the park, and I remember riding on it as a kid with my brothers. And speaking of my brothers, Chris isn't as light as he used to be:
Once we finished defying death and personal injury lawsuits at the park, we made one more stop, and my other grandmother's farm outside of Cuero, to feed her cows and donkeys, and to check up on my sister's horse. There's an Osage orange tree right outside our subdivision in New Braunfels, and we had gathered a bunch of the fallen horse apples for the family equine. Some horses supposedly turn their noses up at the odd green fruit, but that wasn't the case this time:
Even the donkeys wanted in on the action, helping themselves to some of the smaller ones that rolled off to the side. The citrus-melon scent of the fruit filled the air. My stomach started grumbling--it'd been almost five hours since lunch. I looked at the horse apples and though, "What the heck?"
Yum. Them's good eating!
Now Playing: Sheryl Crow Tuesday Night Music Club
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Jayhawk wars
You know things have gotten bad when your state's flagship institution of higher education (read: University of Kansas) ridicules said state's science curriculum (read: Intelligent Design), and then builds an entire course around said lunacy:
It's a good start, and I'm glad to see the public universities in Kansas finally engaging the battle directly (now, what's Kansas State doing?). What would be a strong, unequivocal stance on the issue, though, would be for these Kansas universities to refuse to accept science credits from any Kansas high school that teaches I.D. That would get folks' attention, real quick.
Now Playing: Pandora Hoyt Axton radio
A course being offered next semester by the university religious studies department is titled "Special Topics in Religion: Intelligent Design, Creationism and other Religious Mythologies."
"The KU faculty has had enough," said Paul Mirecki, department chairman.
"Creationism is mythology," Mirecki said. "Intelligent design is mythology. It's not science. They try to make it sound like science. It clearly is not."
It's a good start, and I'm glad to see the public universities in Kansas finally engaging the battle directly (now, what's Kansas State doing?). What would be a strong, unequivocal stance on the issue, though, would be for these Kansas universities to refuse to accept science credits from any Kansas high school that teaches I.D. That would get folks' attention, real quick.
Now Playing: Pandora Hoyt Axton radio
Pandora's (music) Box
This is an interesting musical diversion I found via Bill Crider's Pop Culture Magazine. It's called the Pandora Music Genome Project. On the surface, it's a simple online jukebox, that plays an assortment of music for you. On closer look, it's much cooler than that. You enter the name of a particular song or artist, and Pandora combs its "music genome" database to come up with other songs that exhibit similar key traits. The results can be quite entertaining... and occasionally wildly inaccurate. Fortunately, you can guide the playlist toward more of a particular style, or warn it off of paths you care not to tread down.
Naturally, the first two "Stations" I set up were based around the Kinks and Billy Joel. The results were somewhat predictable, although more Who songs turned up on the Joel Station than the Kinks, which I found perplexing, since I've always found the Kinks and the Who to be very similar as far as British Invasion groups go.
Then, suddenly, inspiration struck. Why content myself to music I already had loaded on my computer or readily available on CD? Let's put Pandora to the test! So I went a little nuts, going for obscure or offbeat, in some cases entering artists I was barely familiar with. So now I have Stations built around Hawkwind, the Mike Curb Congregation and William Shatner & Leonard Nimoy. Wow. Right now I've got a Hoyt Axton station playing. Some of the artists gravitate toward country as you'd expect, such as the Bellamy Brothers and Restless Heart, but songs by the Minutemen and Pluto have cropped up. Fascinating.
Now Playing: Pandora Hoyt Axton radio
Naturally, the first two "Stations" I set up were based around the Kinks and Billy Joel. The results were somewhat predictable, although more Who songs turned up on the Joel Station than the Kinks, which I found perplexing, since I've always found the Kinks and the Who to be very similar as far as British Invasion groups go.
Then, suddenly, inspiration struck. Why content myself to music I already had loaded on my computer or readily available on CD? Let's put Pandora to the test! So I went a little nuts, going for obscure or offbeat, in some cases entering artists I was barely familiar with. So now I have Stations built around Hawkwind, the Mike Curb Congregation and William Shatner & Leonard Nimoy. Wow. Right now I've got a Hoyt Axton station playing. Some of the artists gravitate toward country as you'd expect, such as the Bellamy Brothers and Restless Heart, but songs by the Minutemen and Pluto have cropped up. Fascinating.
Now Playing: Pandora Hoyt Axton radio
Monday, November 21, 2005
Fun with eBay
Whenever you plunge into the seething morass known as eBay, you run the risk of running into characters. If you're buying something, you may get that cool bargain you've had your heart set on, but there's always that outside chance of getting a joker that decides to jerk you around. The same is true for sellers. Lisa's up to her eyebrows right now with a nincompoop who's going ballistic because she hasn't received some children's clothes she won in auction a month ago, and she's blaming Lisa. Here's the kicker: The nincompoop registered a fake mailing address with both eBay and Paypal. Why? Well, no satisfactory explanation has come forth on that one. But that's the address Lisa was given, so that's the one the package was mailed to. The fact that the package hasn't reached the nincompoop because of her own stupidity hasn't sunk in. And she declined insurance as well. So now she's threatening to leave Lisa negative feedback. Go figure.
On the other hand, sometimes the people you encounter can surprise you. We auction off antler sheds regularly, and about a month ago we sold some red stag antlers to a fellow named Jim Boyd. When I went to mail them, the postage we'd quoted him using the eBay calculator was about triple the actual postage. There was no way we could justify that much of a markup for "handling charges," so Lisa refunded some of his money. Jim expressed his shock--and gratitude at the unexpected refund--by sending us this:
It's a pen he turned from those very same red stag antlers we'd sold him. Now Jim didn't know this beforehand, but I have a profound weakness for antler pens. Not approaching Neil Gaiman's obsession with fountain pens, but still. I simply love the texture and feel of the crafted antler in my hand. It simply feels good. So one good turn deserves another, deserves another, I recommend you good folks check out Jim's photo gallery, where a wide variety of pens crafted from exotic hardwoods and the like are on display. The man is quite talented, even if he's modest about it. Personally, I'm thinking we should refund postage more often if this is the end result...
Now Playing: Johnny Cash American IV: The Man Comes Around
On the other hand, sometimes the people you encounter can surprise you. We auction off antler sheds regularly, and about a month ago we sold some red stag antlers to a fellow named Jim Boyd. When I went to mail them, the postage we'd quoted him using the eBay calculator was about triple the actual postage. There was no way we could justify that much of a markup for "handling charges," so Lisa refunded some of his money. Jim expressed his shock--and gratitude at the unexpected refund--by sending us this:
It's a pen he turned from those very same red stag antlers we'd sold him. Now Jim didn't know this beforehand, but I have a profound weakness for antler pens. Not approaching Neil Gaiman's obsession with fountain pens, but still. I simply love the texture and feel of the crafted antler in my hand. It simply feels good. So one good turn deserves another, deserves another, I recommend you good folks check out Jim's photo gallery, where a wide variety of pens crafted from exotic hardwoods and the like are on display. The man is quite talented, even if he's modest about it. Personally, I'm thinking we should refund postage more often if this is the end result...
Now Playing: Johnny Cash American IV: The Man Comes Around
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