Pope Joan

There was an interesting feature on ABC's Primetime Live tonight--Diane Sawyer, obviously looking to cash in on the religious conspiracy coattails of The DaVinci Code, examined the legend of Pope Joan, a woman who supposedly disguised herself as a man to earn an education and ended up being elected pope in the ninth century.

Medieval manuscripts tell a similar tale: Two-and-a-half years into her reign, Pope Joan was in the midst of a papal procession, a three-mile trip to the Church of the Lateran in Rome, when suddenly at a crossroads, she felt sharp pains in her stomach.

She was having contractions, the stories say. The unthinkable happened — the pope was having a baby.

"And then, shock and horror," says Malone. "And then the story gets very confused, because some of the records say she was killed and her child was killed right on the spot. Other records say she was sent to a convent and that her son grew up and later became bishop of Ostia."

Stories vary — some say the crowd stoned her to death, others say she was dragged from the tail of a horse — but in most accounts, Pope Joan perished that day.

While interesting, the story wasn't very even-handed. It was obvious that Sawyer was fascinated by the prospect of a female pope, and played up that "what if?" angle. And the feature itself didn't do much to shed any light on the matter--pretty much every piece of evidence cited can be found in Peter Stanford's somewhat self-congratulatory book The Legend of Pope Joan. At a glance, the evidence is indeed convincing--especially in light of the fact that in the early years of Christianity, women held far more powerful roles in the church, evidence of which was systematically suppressed over the ensuing centuries. It doesn't hurt the case of the pro-Joan advocates that those on the opposite side of the issue (in the Dateline piece and also in some of the literature I've read) simply say "She didn't exist," and leave it at that.

The most powerful arguement against her existance is that the first mention of her doesn't turn up until the 13th century. At the same time, however, evidence clearly shows her existance and death was an accepted fact by pope and peasant alike in the middle ages. Simply dismissing her as a myth misses the point--even myth, when believed, becomes real. How else to explain the marble toilet seat throne used to verify a pope's manhood? I'd very much like to see a work that examines the legend of Pope Joan itself--the legend, not the person--because all legends have a context and an origin. There is a reason why Pope Joan was accepted as real by the Catholic church for more than 500 years, and those reasons deserve exploration. Was it a simple morality tale designed to keep women "in their place"? Or was it a reaction against the "beguines and mystics" who threatened church hierarchy? Or was it even a mangled distortion of the pope-making powers of Theodora, a powerful 10th century Roman noblewoman?

In any event, there's more interest in the legend now than at any time in history. There's even a Pope Joan movie lensing in Germany. What I find amusing is the rabid venom being spewed by right-wing Catholics on blogs hither and yon insisting that the story is anti-Catholic propoganda. Take a look at this snippet from WorldNetDaily:

But Catholic writer Philip Jenkins, in his book "The New Anti-Catholicism, calls the "Pope Joan legend" a "venerable staple of the anti-Catholic mythology."

"Though it has not the slightest foundation," he writes, "from the sixteenth century through the nineteenth, the tale was beloved by Protestants, since it testified to Catholic stupidity. ..." Today, he says, "Pope Joan enjoys a lively presence on the Web, where feminist anti-Catholics celebrate her existence much as did seventeenth-century Calvinists."

The posting on the Newsbusters site said: "That a major network like ABC would lend credibility to such a vicious anti-Catholic smear is deplorable."

Maybe I'm theologically dense, but I can't for the life of me see how this could be a Protestant conspiracy. Even if Joan if a complete and total fabrication, the legend appears in official church records 300 years before Martin Luther posted his Ninety-five Theses on the church door. These folks shouldn't be so paranoid and defensive.

Whether true or false, Pope Joan is a great story. Just strange enough to be true in an era that was too bizarre to be believed. It's probably just a myth, akin to the Infancy Gospels, but it's a myth one wishes were true.

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I wonder if the Marvel McFey costume is available?

So much for moving all of Astroworld's old rides to various Six Flags parks across the country. The parent company, not satisfied with selling the land the park sits on, is now putting everything else up on the auction block:

For fans looking for something to hold onto, AstroWorld, which permanently closed in October, will hold a public auction Jan. 6-8.

Auction attendees must be at least 18 years old and provide valid identification at registration. Officials said no one under the age of 18 will be allowed into the auction.

Apart from the general foodservice equipment and golf carts, they're also offering up some of the park's signature rides. I kid you not. Rides like Greezed Lightnin' (my personal fave), XLR-8 (the first suspended roller coaster), the Viper, Mayan Mindbender, Looping Starship (which was supposed to go up to Arlington. Guess they changed their mind) and the 100-year-old Dentzel Carousel. I mean, really. Shuttering the park was depressing enough, but this fire sale is downright pathetic.

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Telescope

Guess what Calista got from Santa?



It's just a little 2.4" Meade refractor. Nothing fancy. But it does the job for a first telescope--especially since my 6" reflector isn't in useable condition and the girls keep wanting to look through it. The moon's not visible right now in the evening, but we took it out Christmas night to see what planets we might take a peek at. Venus was obvious up there the the evening sky, but from experience I knew it wouldn't offer much. Fortunately, it's currently in crescent phase, and that showed up impressively. Then we turned the scope up to Mars, high in the sky. We saw a bright, pink disc, which earned some oohs and aahs from the girls. A couple hours later we took it back out to take a look at Saturn, and the view was spectacular. Saturn never, ever disappoints, even in the smallest telescopes. The rings were clearly defined, and even if we couldn't see the Cassini division, the shadow of the rings over the planet was clear.

I absolutely must get my telescope in working order this year.

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A San Antonio Solstice

The family piled into the minivan this evening and made the trek down into San Antonio to take in the sights and sound of the famous Riverwalk. It really is spectacularly beautiful during the Christmas season:



We'd planned on taking a ride on one of the river barges that cruise around beneath the lights, but the line was long and the weather had turned a mite chilly from earlier in the day (low 40s from a high of around 65), so regretfully we took a pass on that one. We did, however, grab dinner at Casa Rio, which serves up your basic Tex-Mex (nothing too flashy or spicy that would scare off the out-of-state tourists) but does a good job of it for a modest price. We got a table beside the river, waving at the barges full of tourists passing by. We fed tortilla chips to the ducks that swam up to beg. We listened to the strolling mariachis. All in all, a typical dinner on the Riverwalk.



After wandering around the Riverwalk for a while (we never made it to Justin's Ice Cream Company, unfortunately, since their lease has been cancelled so yet another Saltgrass Steak House can go up instead. How much longer before the Riverwalk looks like any other strip mall in America?) we headed for home. But first, we took a drive past the Alamo to look at the lights decorating the old mission. You can't really see the big Christmas tree at the front of the plaza in this photo, but the scene was quite nice. Unfortunately, this is the only shot that turned out in a non-blurry fashion.



Feliz Navidad, everyone!

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Happy Winter Solstice!

In observance of the Winter Solstice--the longest night and shortest day of the year--I thought I'd share with all my northern friends something that popped up in my front yard today:



Yes, it's growing in a pot, but it's been sitting on our front porch, uncovered, since April. In case you're wondering, it's 65 degrees and sunny today in New Braunfels. And yes, those are candy cane and lollypop decorations in the background.

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Oh yeah. I saw Kong.

As far as remakes go, Peter Jackson's remake of King Kong kicks the banannas out of the Dino De Laurentiis version from the '70s. Yes, it's way too long--just off the top of my head, I can think of half a dozen cuts that would easily get it down below the 2:30 mark with no impact on the overall story (what the heck was all that "Heart of Darkness" nonsense? Film school "symbolism" that had no payoff. Shame on you, Jackson. You're better than that!).

I was very, very worried about Jack Black being anywhere near this film, much less his being in such a crucial role as Carl Denham. But to my surprise, he worked well for the most part. This version of Denham is played much like a chronic gambler--compelled to risk everything for that elusive payoff, no matter how many people are hurt or swindled along the way. Denham wasn't evil, but the was definitely amoral and oblivious to the impact his actions had on others. Naomi Watts was perfect as Anne Darrow. Inspired casting. The other actors... they filled their roles adequately. Adrien Brody has little to do with the role of Jack Driscoll. He's pretty much along for the ride on this thing, and as such is a pretty passive leading man. In Jackson's original script for Kong, Driscoll was a disillusioned WWI flying ace that takes part in the dogfight atop the Empire State Building in defense of Kong. This final version of the remake, however, sticks closer to the original film. Jack's SOL, and Kong, Anne and the biplanes have the finale to themselves.

So, all in all, the flick's a winner. Heavenly Creatures is still my favorite Jackson film, however. The original Kong, which I first saw in college, still had a stronger impact on me. I was expecting something, well, primitive. But the storyline and special effects--particularly the effort spent on giving Kong a tangible personality--shocked me. I was amazed at the originality and sophistication in that 1933 movie. This 2005 edition can't say the same, and instead has to rely on technical dazzle, which it accomplishes admirably.

Of course, I have to confess I've always been more of a Godzilla fan than a King Kong fan. I came across Godzilla at that tender adolescent age where I lived and breathed dinosaurs. Land of the Lost was the highlight of my week. So even awful Godzilla flicks like Godzilla vs. Megalon drove me bonkers with excitement. Can you imagine my excitement when I first beheld the wonders of Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster which featured not only Godzilla and this new, three-headed dragon, but also Mothra and Rodan? Wow. At that time, I only knew Kong through King Kong vs. Godzilla and King Kong Escapes. So I'm hard-wired for Godzilla. The trouble is, with the exception of the original 1954 Godzilla movie, there's never been a Godzilla film that could actually be called good. Entertaining? Yeah. Fun? Absolutely. Good? Not really. And to make matters worse, the big-budget American Godzilla which should have been great instead missed the point in every way possible, and was instead more of a limp Reptilicus remake than a Godzilla film. So despite the fact that I like Godzilla more than Kong, I have to say that Kong now has two excellent movies to his credit, while the big lizard hasn't managed to reach any more substance than he had back in 1954.

Is there any hope of Peter Jackson doing a remake of King Kong vs. Godzilla? Boy, that's one I love to see!

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Boot to the head

Federal Judge John Jones has ruled in the Dover, Pa., Intelligent Design case. And basically he's run those warmed-over creationists out of town on a rail:

In an opinion issued Tuesday, U.S. District Judge John Jones ruled that teaching "intelligent design" would violate the Constitutional separation of church and state.

"We have concluded that it is not [science], and moreover that ID cannot uncouple itself from its creationist, and thus religious, antecedents," Jones writes in his 139-page opinion posted on the court's Web site. (Opinion, pdf)

"To be sure, Darwin's theory of evolution is imperfect. However, the fact that a scientific theory cannot yet render an explanation on every point should not be used as a pretext to thrust an untestable alternative hypothesis grounded in religion into the science classroom or to misrepresent well-established scientific propositions," Jones writes.

And, anticipating Pat Robertson's forthcoming call to "Take him out" and other right-wing buffoonery, Judge Jones also directs a few choice words in their direction as well:

Jones -- an appointee of President Bush, who backs the teaching of Intelligent Design -- defended his decision in personal terms.

"Those who disagree with our holding will likely mark it as the product of an activist judge. If so, they will have erred as this is manifestly not an activist court," Jones writes.

"Rather, this case came to us as the result of the activism of an ill-informed faction on a school board, aided by a national public interest law firm eager to find a constitutional test case on intelligent design, who in combination drove the board to adopt an imprudent and ultimately unconstitutional policy," he said.

I count this as an early Christmas gift, yes indeed.

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