Reading Playboy for the Articles

I hope you good folks are following me over on Substack, because I'm writing some pretty cool stuff. My ongoing series, "Reading Playboy for the Articles," continues to be a fun and insightful glimps into the pop culture zeritgeist of decades past. Here are links to my most recent additions, in case you've missed them:

August 1977
Fonzie, kit cars of the 70s and A Bridge Too Far

September 1972
The Troubles, Semi-Tough and drugs galore

March 1967
Orson Welles, Sharon Tate and a Fox River bachelor pad monument to MCM excess

If you want to keep up with all of my various goings-on, I recommend subscribing to Gibberish on Substack. It's painless, I promise.

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Reading Playboy for the articles: December 1965

Reading Playboy for the articles: December 1965 edition, featuring Al Capp, the infamous Red Ryder BB gun, Playboy's holiday shopping guide and so much more is now live on the interwebz. I invite you to read all about it on my Substack.

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The Acolyte episode 8

The Acolyte is a new series streaming on Disney+. It is set in the Star Wars universe and occurs 100 years before the fall of the Jedi and subsequent rise of the Empire.

What happened: Osha, still wearing the Cortosis helmet we saw her put on back at the end of episode 6, has a powerful Force vision of Mae killing Jedi Sol without a weapon. She's determined to stop Mae, so strikes a deal with Qimir to go together, as he doesn't know where Mae and Sol are and Osha doesn't have a ship. As they depart, a gaunt, skeletal figure watches them depart from Qimir's cave. Sol has taken Mae to Brendok, where everything went wrong 16 years prior and sends a signal to Vernestra on Coruscant. But Sol hasn't actually told Mae anything before Mae breaks out of her restraints, stealing an escape ship (not an escape pod, because this thing has flight controls). Sol chases after her through the rings surrounding Brendok but annoying tracking groundhog Bazil sabotages Sol's ship sending both him and Mae to hard landings on the planet. On Coruscant, Vernestra is confronted by Senator Rayencourt, who mistrusts the Jedi because they're so powerful and fears what damage a single rogue Jedi could do. Verenestra admits she's conducting a murder investigation but insists she's "very close" to bringing in the killer. She then receives Sol's signal and grimly gathers as many Jedi as she can without raising alarm and rushes off in pursuit. Back on Brendok, Sol searches for Mae but encounters Qimir instead. They fight. Having faced Qimir before and seen his tricks, Sol is able to gradually wear down his adversary. Elsewhere, Mae finds Osha, but when Mae tells Osha that Sol has lied to her all these years Osha lashes out with anger and a pretty intense fight develops between the girls. Vernestra's ship arrives and Mae uses the distraction to get away from Osha. Sol destroys Qimir's lightsaber and appears ready to kill him when Mae arrives. Mae challenges Sol, who openly admits he killed Mother Aniseya but insists he did it for the good of the girls. Osha hears his confession, and enraged, Force chokes Sol to death. The girls flee but Qimir, no longer wearing his Cortosis after the fight, is sensed by Vernestra, who recognizes him. The Jedi pour into the ruined Witch fortress and find Sol dead. The girls stop to rest and hug and bond under the bunta tree from the first episode. As they're talking, Qimir arrives and warns them that if he can find them this quickly the Jedi can't be far behind. At first the girls are going to tell everything to the Jedi but Qimir points out that Mother Aniseya was killed in part because she created them through a vergence in the Force, an incredibly powerful and threatening ability. Osha's unlocked Dark Side power would be equally threatening, even without the whole Force vergence to consider. Osha offers to train with Qimir if he'll let Mae go. Qimir agrees and uses the Force to wipe Mae's memories so the Jedi can't use her to track them. Mae is captured and taken to Coruscant where Verenestra tells Mae--and the Senate inquiry--that Sol's guilt over killing Mother Aniseya drove him mad and he is the one responsible for killing Indara, Torbin and Kelnacca. After, she goes to meet with Master Yoda.

Disturbances in the Force: This episode, as far as I can tell, has no title. Which makes no sense, but then again that's on par for this episode. All the pacing issues I complained about in the earlier episodes are magnified tenfold here. During their fight in the ruins, it becomes very clear that Mae and Osha, wearing white and black, respectively, have switched positions. By that I mean Mae is on the path of redemption and Osha is falling headling toward the Dark Side. The vision Osha had was not one of Mae killing Sol but of herself--and the "sisters" are the same person inhabiting two different bodies, she couldn't tell the difference. It's an interesting idea, but that was the finale! After Osha succumbs to the Dark Side (for very good reasons I might add) and strangles Sol, there is no more story. That's it. Hard stop. Yet The Acolyte drags things out for 15 more minutes. Everyting that comes after completely deflates the emotional climax and Osha's character arc. She essentially killed her father for crying out loud! As for Sol, he shows zero remorse for his actions 16 year prior. He's still insisting he was in the right, unrepentant, unredeemed. Then, after his death, Vernestra compounds the problem by doing the same damn thing by lying to Mae and the Senate and (presumably) the Jedi Council. Why? I'm thinking Qimir is a former padawan of hers, but its not clear. None of the motivations are. I mean, Bazil sabotaging Sol's ship came from out of nowhere, had no logical basis. Bazil has become a blunt force plot device. On Brendok, after finding Sol's body, Vernestra orders the other Jedi to set up a wide perimeter but in the next scene they're all following Bazil in pursuit of Mae. Huh? Osha's decision to go with Qimir and leave Mae was also baffling weird. The girls had just reunited after thinking each other dead for 16 years and now, not only will they separate, but they're erasing all of Mae's memories as well? That seems like a solution in search of a problems. Why not take Mae with them and sort things out later? Qimir's ship kinda sorta gave the impression of being only a two-seater earlier in the episode, but in prior episodes it appeared a lot bigger than that. But so what? The episode should've ended 15 minutes earlier! Everything that comes after that only serves to set up a potential season 2. It's flabby and wasted and bad writing. The Yoda cameo at the end was wasted, and honestly, kinda pissed me off. One of the things I liked best about this series is that it didn't use previous Star Wars shows and movies as a crutch, with endless parades of cameos and references. We didn't need Yoda. Nor did we need Darth Pagueis. What purpose did he serve? It was a weird, unnecessary reveal that would've made a much bigger impact in season 2, with an episode building up to it rather than an in-passing cameo. Yes, there's still the question of who trained Qimir if Plagueis isn't shown, but so what? That's a good thing. The Acolyte diffuses that mystery for no substantive reason. Fine, I'll grant that Plagueis ties in to the whole Anakin "virgin birth" angle through the twins and the Force vergence. Again, so what? What does his fleeting appearance accomplish here that it couldn't do better in a potential future show? As it stands, Plagueis is even less impactful here than Maul was tacked onto the end of the by-the-numbers Solo film. A Maul cameo couldn't elevate that otherwise competent film, so why should be much-less know Plagueis have any greater impact with the far more uneven Acolyte? Short answer: He doesn't.

At several points during the battles in the fortress, the Witches are chanting. Were there actual survivors? Were there spirits there? Was it an echo of the past? Was it a mere stylistic choice? I dunno. Not everything has to be spelled out, but this episode spells out so many random things that it's hard to know what's important and what's not.

Look, this show was never going to live up to Rashomon. That's a given. I was rooting for it because it was giving us something different for Star Wars. But its missteps are relentless. None of the Jedi we've gotten to know to any extent--apart from Yord the jerk and Jecki the padawan, who are both dead--are really admirable. The Jedi we see stubbornly refuse to learn from their mistakes. I get that this show is sowing the seeds that lead to the fall of the order, but damn, folks, give us some examples of the "heroes" as hostile Senator Rayencourt calls them. This show is brimming over with ideas that are poorly realized, sloppily executed and implemented by half-measures. I want it to be better than it is. It should be better than it is. It showed flashes of brilliance throughout, but then reverted to hand-waving and plot coupons to move the story along, or not. For all its flaws, I still like The Acolyte better than the nonsensical Obi-Wan series or The Book of Boba Fett (how can anyone manage to make Boba Fett boring!?). I like the ideas. I love the fact they're trying to give us something different. The actors involved gave it their all. But this is a clear case of reach far exceeding grasp. Maybe the next time Disney+ greenlights a Star Wars series, they focus on telling a complete story rather than worrying about setting up a potential season 2. But that sloppiness in the final could just as well prevent a season 2 from ever becoming a reality.

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The Acolyte episode 7: Choice

The Acolyte is a new series streaming on Disney+. It is set in the Star Wars universe and occurs 100 years before the fall of the Jedi and subsequent rise of the Empire.

What happened: Flashback to 16 years prior. The Jedi, under Indara's leadership, are investigating the planet Brendok. A century earlier, a survey charted it as a barren, lifeless rock. This raised questions as it was now teeming with complex life. The Jedi suspected a Force vergence, which is a kind of nexus of concentrated Force that could've given rise to life. Indara's padawan, Torbin, is cranky and bored and wants to return to Coruscant. Sol is a cocky know-it-all and wookie Kelnacca is inscruitable because there are no captions when he speaks. While surveying an uncharted region, Sol happens upon Osha and Mae. He follows them back to the Witch's fortress, which is an abandoned mining base, and is alarmed at the Force Witches training them for combat. He rushes back to Indara, certain the girls are being abused at best, prepped for human sacrifice at worst. Indara reluctantly agrees to check out the situation. Once at the Witches' fortress, Indara wants to go in alone--all four Jedi marching in there would be seen as a threat--but Sol argues it's too dangerous otherwise. Mae completes the ascension ceremony but the Jedi interrupt before Osha can. The Witches react as badly as Indara feared. Mother Aniseya enters Torbin's mind, learns how badly he wants to return to Coruscant, and uses that to get him to submit to her control. This alarms the Jedi but the stalemate is diffused with an agreement to let the Jedi test Mae and Osha for Force sensitivity. It turns out the Jedi (apart from Sol) have little interest in this but it was a gambit to buy time to wait for instructions from the Jedi Council. Mae fails the test on purpose, but as Indara and Sol ask her questions the ambiguous answers she gives seem to confirm Sol's fears the girls are being prepared as human sacrifices. Osha, on the other hand, passes the tests easily after Sol coaches and prods her extensively. Torbin takes blood samples and the girls' M-count (midi-chlorians make a return appearance!) is not only exceptionally high, it's identical in a way that's impossible even in identical twins. The girls are literally one person in two bodies. Sol and Indara suspect the Witches somehow used the Force vergence to create the girls. The Jedi Council's guidance then arrives and is quite ambiguous: Stop bothering the locals and leave them be. This doesn't sit well with Torbin, who sees the twins as proof of the Force vergence and his ticket back to Coruscant. Perhaps still experiencing aftereffects of Mother Aniseya's mind control, Torbin jumps on a speederbike and rushes off to abduct the girls. Sol ostensibly gives chase but when he finally catches up with Torbin at the fortress, he decides kidnapping it a pretty good strategy. He and Torbin scale the fortress' walls and confont Mother Aniseya and Koril. The Witches are pissed the Jedi are back as uninvited guests. Insults and threats are exchanged and when Mother Aniseya suddenly turns into smoke, Sol stabs her with his lightsaber, killing her dead. As she lays dying, Aniseya tells Sol that she had decided to let Osha join the Jedi, which does not reflect well on Sol's conduct. Koril is understandably enraged, attacking the Jedi. Indara flies the Jedi ship close to the fortress and sends Kelnacca to help Sol and Torbin. The Witches, acting as a group in another chamber, promptly mind-control Kelnacca and the wookie Jedi beats the ever-loving tar out of Sol and Torbin. They're only saved by the timely arrival of Indara, who places her hand over Kelnacca and uses the Force to breaks the mind-control, apparently (?) killing the entire coven in the process. Elsewhere, Mae, angered that Osha plans to leave, locks her in her room then attempts to burn Osha's beloved journal. Mae fumbles the lamp, however, dropping it and setting the whole damn place on fire. Mae runs for help only to discover the Jedi have pretty much wiped out the coven. She flees and enecounters the escaped Osha on a bridge as the entire fortress is collapsing around them. The bridge buckles but Sol arrives and used the Force to keep it from falling. Realizing it is too heavy for him, he lets Mae fall to her apparent death while rescuing Osha. Back on the ship, with Osha unconscious, Indara is not happy to say the least, but she puts the kibosh on Sol's plan to turn himself in to the Jedi High Council. Indara points out that he committed every crime out of the belief Osha needed him and deserved to become a Jedi, and that if he were imprisoned, or defrocked, or whatever happens to naughty Jedi, Osha would be completely abandoned. She's older than children the Jedi usually take in, so nobody would accept her as a padawan. Indara dictates their story will be that the coven perished in the fire Mae started, and the group reluctantly agrees just as Osha wakes up and asks about her family.

Disturbances in the Force: Well, we finally got the much anticipated second flashback episode. It was... adequate. Honestly, it fell far short of Rashomon, but I suppose that was inevitable. In Kurosawa's film, the viewer is shown multiple viewpoints of the same incident, and each perspective is different--sometimes contradictally so. In this episode, nothing is shown that contradicts what was shown in the episode 3 flashback--instead, it shares scenes that were intentionally withheld from that episode. Whereas the previous flashback is predominantly from the perspective of the Witches, this time out it's primarily from that of the Jedi. As a basic fill-in-the-blanks narrative it works, but its not terribly sophisticated. What I'd have preferred were two very different takes on the flashback, sharing the same events but mutually exclusive in the way they were perceived, with the audience left to determine which take to believe (or, really, which moments from each were likely true and which were distorted by inherent bias). But that may well have been too arthouse for Disney+. Instead, we learn that Sol is impulsively self-righteous, absolutely convinced that the conclusions he leaps to are absolutely correct and justify repeated insubordination without though of consequences. We learn Torbin is a whiny, impuslive, homesick brat. In retrospect, I'm glad he drank the poison. We learn Indara is a wise and powerful Jedi master who tried her damnedist to avoid conflict and failed only when everyone conspired against her. And Kelnacca... well, we don't learn much about the wookie other than he's a kickass fighter, even when mind controlled. The episode title, "Choices," is a little too on-the-nose, as a cascade of bad choices (mostly by Sol) brought about this shitshow on Brendok. Even they had the best of intentions, and Indara makes every effort to diffuse the situation, there's no way around the fact that the Jedi fucked up big time and many lives were lost. As has been pointed out elsewhere online, in Revenge of the Sith there was no law against actually being Sith. And presumably during the High Republic, there's no laws against being Force Witches. Jedi religious prejudices came into play, and anyone that views or manipulates the Force differently than the Jedi are automatically suspect, and very probably evil. I actually like the way The Acolyte handles this, as it goes unspoken yet is not entirely subtle and makes an effective point against sectarian strife that has plagued humanity for millennia.

Unfortunately, while the episode is tense and has engagingn action, it has its dumb moments. At almost any point the carnage could've been avoided if the characters simply talked to each other rather than posturing. The Witches remain a cipher, powerful equals to the Jedi one moment and then easiy defeated the next. My big question from episode 3 remains unanswered: How the hell does a STONE fortress--a mining outpost at that--catch fire and rapidly burn from a simple dropped lamp? Notre Dame Cathedral didn't burn as fast and that entire thing was made of wood! Indara defeating the entire coven seems more like a plot contrivance than plausible, as does the death of the coven (although I remain unclear of Koril's fate). The deeper purpose of Mae and Osha's existence remains murky, as does the ascension ritual and the goals of the coven, actually. I'm not confident we'll ever get any answers on that front.

One thing I suspect going forward is that Osha and Mae will switch places. This flashback is essentially Sol's confession to Mae, which she won't like but will provide understanding and closure of sorts for her. On the other hand, Osha learning that Sol needlessly killed her beloved Mother Aniseya and then lied about it for the past 16 years is not going to improve her already shaky relationship with the Jedi. She's more than halfway been seduced to the Dark Side by Qimir already. And speaking of Qimir, I'm not sure we'll get much in the way of an origin for him in episode 8. At this point there are too many dangling plot threads for everything to be tied up neatly in the one remaining episode. Which means the answers I'm looking for won't be coming forth unless The Acolyte is picked up for a second season. At the rate they're going, Mae and Osha may be the only characters who survive to see another eight episodes--I would not bet on Sol making it out of the finale alive, and Qimir better not get complacent, either.

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The Acolyte episode 6: Teach/Corrupt

The Acolyte is a new series streaming on Disney+. It is set in the Star Wars universe and occurs 100 years before the fall of the Jedi and subsequent rise of the Empire.

What happened: Osha awakens in a cave on an unknown planet. Cautiously, she follows Qimir down to a rocky seashore where he strips naked and bathes in a sheltered lagoon. In the distance, across a narrow channel, is a spaceship on a rocky island. Osha grabs his lightsaber and he returns to shore as they exchange banter. Qimir wants Osha to willingly become his new apprentice. Osha threatens to kill him, but won't, because he is unarmed. Qimir mocks her for still following the Jedi code. Back in the cave, he explains his armor is made out of Cortosis, a rare metal useful in a fight against lightsabers. He explains the helmet also doubles as a senory deprivation device, allowing the wearer to be better attuned to the force so the senses don't betray them. Osha says she'll never fall to the Dark Side of the Force but nevertheless puts on the helmet. Back on Khofar, Sol and Mae-disguised-as-Osha take off only to discover their ship is all kinds of glitchy and can't jump to hyperspace. Sol tries to get off a distress signal but it is garbled (the signal is received on Coruscant, and Vernestra, while worried about a Senate inquiry, gathers a rescue team and immediately takes off). Mae almost stabs Sol in the back before Sol tasks her with repairing the ship as Mae is a meknek. Bazil, the alien badger/bloodhound, knows Mae is an imposter but rather than warn Sol, he reactivates the remains of Osha's palm droid Pip who squirts ink at Mae before getting reset to factory settings. Mae, pretending to be Osha, bitches to Sol about how bad he treated her as a padawan before Sol, tired of her shit, stuns her and ties her down. When she awakens, he says he thought for years about what he would say to her so she's damn well going to listen. Sol jumps to hyperspace just as Vernestra arrives. She and her party find allteh dead Jedi on the planet and realize they're dealing with a fallen Jedi... or worse.

Disturbances in the Force: After the intensity of the previous episode, this one reverts to a slow burn which would be fine except that nothing happens. This episode is slow and everything that happens is so slowly drawn out to fill the runtime that I kept checking my watch to see how much longer was left. With Sol and Mae, there was a kind of does-he-know-or-doesn't-he vibe going on that was pretty pointless. Sol kept giving Mae tech assignments she wasn't capable of managing yet somehow bluffed her way through even as Sol wallowed in regret for all the lives lost on Khofar. That tedium could've been nipped in the bud had Bazil just gone straight to Sol and told him Mae was posing as Osha, but instead he decides on some Home Alone-esque pratfall boobytraps that annoy Mae but accomplish little else. I've yet to figure out the relevance of Verenstra's subplot beyond documenting the various ass-kickings the Jedi are receiving. The Qimir/Osha doalogue/negotiations are the most compelling element in this episode but even those are drawn out. To a degree they are evocative of Yoda's sandbagging of Luke early on Dagobah, but only slightly. Mostly the exchange consists of Osha following Qimir around, saying, "I'll never be your Dark Side apprentice!" and Qimir responding, "Fine. Go then. The ship's over there. Keys are in the ignition." Yes Osha refuses the easy out, continuting to bluster and posture while getting fitted for a black Sith suit and red lightsaber.

The interwebs inform me that Cortosis is a metal previously only seen in the Expanded Universe novels. It is very rare and has the unique property of absorbing the energy of lightsabers, thereby short circuiting them for a brief period. This isn't made terribly clear in the show. I'm guessing it'll have a greater role in the narrative come episode 8, but might just be a throwaway reference to get fans of the Expanded Universe excited. I dunno. On Khofar, Verenstra's team determines the battle was found against someone very powerful in the Force, but erratic, unfocused. That, coupled with Qimir's behavior with Osha is further indication that he's not Sith but rather mostly self-trained. Once the Jedi suss out his tricks and surprises I suspect he'd be toast. He dropped hints that he's a former padawan, but this show continues to refuse to give straight answers even when logic dictates that's what should happen. Once again, we're on the verge of finding out whatever it was that Sol did that was so terrible when the scene fades to black. That's not a cliffhanger. That's not drama. That's shitty writing, hiding the truth from the viewers through contrivance. Look, I get that reset episodes exist for a reason but this one contained about 10 minutes worth of plot that was stretched out over 40 minutes. When you're working with the kind of budgets they have for the Star Wars TV series, maybe devote a little more of that budget toward adding substance to these reset episodes because the audience and characters deserve better.

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The Acolyte episode 5: Night

The Acolyte is a new series streaming on Disney+. It is set in the Star Wars universe and occurs 100 years before the fall of the Jedi and subsequent rise of the Empire.

What happened: Osha wakes up in the forest. She stumbles back from whence she was flung and comes across a dead Jedi. She heads toward the sound of fighting. There's losts of fighting. The apparent Sith has beskar-style armor that deflects lightsabers and some sort of Force trick that causes the Jedi lightsabers to malfunction and deactivate for extended periods. One by one, the Jedi go down. Yord is wounded on the leg and knocked out of the fight. The Sith is about to kill him when Osha blasts him with a stun gun... which does absolutely nothing other than piss him off and attract his attention. He chases Osha. Back at the wookie hut, Mae watches the fight unfold with growing alarm. She knows the Sith is out to get her and it is becoming increasingly obvious that the Jedi can't do squat to protect her. She grabs Kelnacca's lightsaber and tries to flee, only to be intercepted by Jecki. After an extended battle by the two Force-apprentices, Jecki bests Mae and cuffs her. Nearby, the Sith catches up to Osha, Yord and Sol intervene to save her. Sol orders Yord to get Osha to the ship. The Sith fights Sol for a bit before going after Mae. Jecki and Sol battle him in a pretty intense running lightsaber battle until Jecki unmasks him. It is, no surprise, Qimir from the previous episodes, although he is decidedly less goofy and much more menacing this time around. Yord and Osha make it as far as the isopod forest before Osha gets a Force premonition that they must go back or everyone will die. Yord reluctantly goes along with it, and they use lights to attract the flying isopods to follow them. In the surprisingly brutal fight that follows Jecki is stabbed three times in the chest by Qimir, killing her very dead, and Yord has his neck snapped. Sol, knocked unconscious, and Mae are next on the list but Osha puts her handheld robot, Pip, in flashlight mode and slaps it on Qimir's back, attracting the isopods who carry him off into the night. Mae and Osha have a reunion, but Mae wants them to run off together while Osha tries to arrest her for the murder of Jedi. They fight and Mae kicks Osha's ass, knocks her out and steals Osha's identity, returning to the ship with Sol. Qimir returns to the battlefield having fought off the isopods and claims Osha as his new apprentice.

Disturbances in the Force: Wow, where to begin. This episode has got to be the most brutal incarnation of Star Wars ever. Luke getting his hand chopped off? Han Solo frozen in carbonite? Sorry, Empire, that's only good enough for second place. As expected, the other Jedi on the task force--who got a grand total of zero character development--were killed off almost as fast as the task force that tried to arrest Chancellor Palpatine. I saw that coming. They telegraphed it from a lightyear away. What I didnot see coming was the death of Jecki. Look, hers was a character that could've been Ahsoka-circa-Clone Wars-pilot annoying. But she wasn't. Of all the characters, she got the most development and had several nice bonding moments with Osha. If anyone was to survive, it was her. And Yord, geeze, he was the noble jerk type who the story seemed to be flirting with as an atagonistic love interest for Osha. Both of those characters contributed to a friend insisting this series was being written as a YA adventure. Nope, that was more misdirection. This harkens back to episode 1, where Indara was unceremoniously killed off in the first five minutes. Literally nobody is safe.

This was easily the best episode of the series up to this point. It was one long fight, or rather series of fights, and each fight had its own plot of sorts, whith a beginning, middle and end. The action was clear and well-choreographed. When Osha woke up far from the fighting I was afraid the show was going to cop out on the cliffhanger and only show the aftermath. Nope, that was more misdirection. Qimir went from being the annoying/goofy sidekick to probably the most menacing Star Wars villains since Darth Vader first set foot on Princess Leia's blockade runner back in the very first film. His helmet is simple and nightmarish--a far better use of a mask that Kylo Ren's pretentious silver-and-black fetishwear. And Qimir's mixture of anger, determination and taunting... very well done. When he taunts Mae "Didn't you know it was me?" he might as well have been taunting the audience. When he says he wore the mask to hide his identity, but since everyone has now seen his face everyone must die--it doesn't sound like a threat or bragging, but rather a statement of fact. Sith or not, this is not a bad guy to trifle with.

That said, the episode is not without flaws. The isopods are attracted to light--we've seen them specifically go after lightsabers--but they don't rush the battlefield until Osha turns on flashlight Pip, despite plenty of flashing sabers up to that point. The nameless Jedi are so much canon fodder and taken out far too easily. That's a well-worn cliche (not just in Star Wars I'd be happy to never see again). Speaking of cliches, at one point Sol is about to execute a disarmed Qimir, but Osha talks him out of it because "Jedi don't kill unarmed people" or somesuch and naturally Qimir gets free and kills more of their party. At least Osha didn't chop Sol's arm off in the process. Qimir is pretty badass and ruthless as a fighter, but I'm not 100% on board with him being a Sith. Something seems off, and we still don't know why he's got a beef with these particular Jedi. Both Mae and Qimir give little mini-sermons on how terrible Sol is and that if Mae knew what he'd done she'd want him and the other Jedi dead as well, but neither get around to actually saying what this terrible crime is. There's such a teasing buildup here that I can't help but think it'll be a disappointment if we ever do find out what it was.

Finally, I'm not sure what Mae's plan is--kill Sol when he's not looking or merely use him as an escape vector? Bazil, the alien woodchuck scout/tracker, returned to the ship sniffing the air pretty hard, so even if Sol is thick and doesn't pick up on Mae's switcheroo, she'll likely be outed by Bazil sooner rather than later. As for Osha, Qimir seemed amused at finding her left behind and it's pretty clear he recognized her for who she is. The main cast just got a lot smaller, so unless they hit us with another flashback episode (which I still think is coming in episode 7, but again, this show confounds expectations) I think we're going to start getting some realtime revelations with episode 6.

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The Acolyte episode 4: Day

The Acolyte is a new series streaming on Disney+. It is set in the Star Wars universe and occurs 100 years before the fall of the Jedi and subsequent rise of the Empire.

What happened: Flashback episode over, we find Osha on Coruscant pondering the fact that her long-lost sister is still alive and apparently a deadly assassin killing off Jedi. She wants nothing to do with confronting Mae and bringing her in--she hesitated in firing on her twin in episode 2, allowing her escape, and has guilt for that but isn't sure she wouldn't hesitate again if the situation arose. Padawan Jecki, for her part, is sympathetic and supportive and the two have a nice bonding moment. As for the Jedi, Vernestra, the green-skinned authority figure, is less interested in Mae than discovering who trained her. She wants to keep the situation secret from the Jedi Council, as the council would report it to the Senate which would subsequently cause political problems. Vernestra puts together a Jedi task force to intercept Mae on the planet Khofar before she can kill the Wookie Jedi, Kelnacca. Jedi Sol believes Mae still has good in her, but would never surrender to random Jedi (and that random Jedi may be all to willing to kill the assassin and be done with her). He convinces Vernestra to allow him, along with Jedi Yord, Jecki and Osha to accompany the task force. Then he has to convince Osha to go along (which he eventually does). All told, seven lightsaber-wielders, plus Osha and Bazil, a short, humanoid badger-looking "tracker" arrive on Khofar in hopes of capturing Mae. As Kelnacca disappeared into the dense forest a year prior, the group is dependent on Bazil to locate the missing wookie. Elsewhere in the forest, Mae and her handler, Qimir, close in on their wookie target. Qimir is an annoying chatterbox, asking how she plans to kill the wookie without using a weapon to prevent her master from being displeased. Mae comes to believe the instruction is to be interpreted as killing an unarmed Jedi, at which point she insists she needs to rest before facing Kelnacca. Qimir wanders off. Meanwhile, the Jedi party has lost track of Bazil and are picking up "wrong" feelings from the forest. Osha touches a large blister on a tree, which turns out to be a giant winged isopod-looking thing that attacks. Sol kills it with his lightsaber, and Osha is grief-stricken. She touched it because she sensed it through the Force which led to its death. Jecki tries to comfort her. At that point, the party hears Mae screaming. Qimir hears her to, and rushes to her aid only to be caught up in a snare trap she'd set. She tells Qimir she's been thinking, and the only thing that matters to her is that her sister Osha is alive. She's not going to kill Kelnacca, intends to turn herself in to the Jedi and tell them everything she knows about her master. Qimir warns her that the master will kill her, but she believes she'll be safe with the Jedi, even if they imprison her. As Mae makes her way to Kelnacca's residence, Bazil finds her and begins screaming to alert the others. Mae enters Kelnacca's home only to find him already dead, killed by what appear to be lightsaber slashes. This frightens Mae. The Jedi surround the house and demand Mae give herself up. Osha hangs back, and a dark, menacing shape descends behind her. Osha turns around to face a presumed Sith Lord in a serial killer mask. After studying her briefly, the Sith ignites his red lightsaber and flicks her aside with the Force. The other Jedi, alarmed, charge him, but the Sith easily blows them back with a Force blast.

Disturbances in the Force: This, friends and neighbors, is the type of episode I've always described as "arranging the pieces on the chess board." It exists solely to set up the next part of the story arc, bringing in scattered characters so they may interact in interesting ways. When they're done, these types of episodes can be great for character development and often inject much-needed humor. Conversely, they can be boring slogs. This one falls in the middle of the spectrum. It offers nice moments with Osha and Jecki, and a bit of a moment with Osha and Yord as well. Sol continues to be hanuted by the past, but the best moments are reserved for Mae, who decides she really doesn't want to be a Dark Side assassin after all. For a series that's all about reversals and keeping the audience guessing, this one was a surprise. Mae has been shown as mostly a hardass throughout, and where Star Wars is concerned, if a Dark Sider is to have a change of heart, it's going to come in the last act of the last film (see Darth Vader, Kylo Ren). That Mae makes her decision through thoughtful, private deliberation without facing a live-or-death situation in the finale (which still may come, mind you) is refreshing. Unfortunately, when Mae discovers Kelnacca's corpse, she's placed in the exact same situation as Osha was with Torbin's death in episode 2--although there's no Yord lurking in the shadows this time to exonerate her. The awkward confrontation between Mae and the Jedi is delayed by the timely arrival of the Sith. Speaking of which... I went back and checked my review of episode 2, but alas, I did not voice my suspicion at the time that Qimir is actually the guy in the creepy ax murderer mask. I mean, that's a "no duh" prediction at this point as the Sith doesn't show up until Mae conveniently confesses to Qimir that she's done with the whole Dark Side thing. From square one, Qimir has known a little bit too much about everything and everyone, not to mention constantly goading Mae along the dark path that she's on. With all the red herrings this show has tossed out Qimir could totally turn out to be the bootlicking lackey he's been portrayed as thus far, but my gut's telling me that ain't so. My gut's also telling me that the four new Jedi that accompanied Sol, Yord and Jecki to Khofar ain't gonna survive the coming duel. They may as well be wearing red Starfleet uniforms. I expect episode 5 to be action-packed after the slow burn we've been given much of this series, but I also say the chance of our getting another Rashomon-style flashback episode instead is no less than 40%, because if nothing else is clear by now, the showrunners are messing with the audience's expectations.

I want to take a moment and give a shout-out to the designers who came up with the forest setting of Khofar. It does indeed feel alien, something unlike anything we've seen in Star Wars previously. This is neither Endor forest or Dagobah swamp, and I sincerely appreciate that. In fact, with the exception of Coruscant, none of these worlds and settings are retreads of places we've previously seen. Thank the maker we're not returing to Tattooine for the umpteenth time!

From what I gather, a number of people on the interwebz are upset by the fact that the episode ended in a cliffhanger, considering this to be a somehow unfair method of storytelling that cheats the audience. Friends and neighbors, let me set the Wayback machine to 1980 and refer you to a little cinematic feature film called The Empire Strikes Back, That film ended with a hell of a more dramatic cliffhanger, and we had to wait three years for a resolution. With The Acolyte episode 4, you've only got to wait a week before you can jump back on the old interwebz to complain about how episode 5 ruined Star Wars in new and altogether different ways than it did seven days prior.

What I do find fault with, however, is Kelnacca's off-camera death. While guilt may have prompted Kelnacca to let Mae kill him as a form of atonement (which I doubt, but let's roll with it) there is zero reason why he'd let a Sith do the same. Yet Kelnacca is killed, apparently without a fight, slumped over in his chair. What gives? This is another nasty bit of bait-and-switch from the showrunners, promising us a wookie Jedi much like Revenge of the Sith and Solo promised a lot of wookie combat action then relegated said action to a brief aside. Even given the Sith ability to muddy the Force and confuse Jedi, I see no way a Sith, or Sith wannabe, or Dathomar Witch, or whatever could completely sneak up on Kelnacca and take him unawares. Could they kill him? Even easily? Sure, I can see that as the Jedi of the High Republic aren't really trained for dueling. But to die slumped in a chair? Come on! The audience (and wookies!) deserves better than that. Though I will say that the depictions of the coven's symbols from episode 1 adorning the walls of Kelnacca's living space raises intriguing questions.

At barely 30 minutes long, this is the shortest episode of the series to date. Not only that, it feels short. Although I failed to voice my prediction that Qimir is the Sith figure behind the scenes, I'll make no mistake with my one thought from this episode: Osha and Mae triumph at a crucial moment (whether for dark or light purposes) by joining together to manipulate the Force, as their coven had instructed them years before.

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The Acolyte episode 3: Destiny

The Acolyte is a new series streaming on Disney+. It is set in the Star Wars universe and occurs 100 years before the fall of the Jedi and subsequent rise of the Empire.

What happened: Sixteen years before episodes 1 and 2, twins Osha and Mae are children on the planet Brendok--the only children on the planet, we come to learn. Osha is communing with nature under the beautiful but deadly bunta tree where Mae finds her and scolds her for leaving the fortress where they live. Osha is reluctant to participate in their upcoming Ascension ceremony. Mae is angered by this. The girls return to their home and are confronted by Koril, a Zabrak with horns growing from her head (Darth Maul's species), who is a stern parental figure to the girls (we later learn she carried the twins to term). Mother Aniseya then arrives, and is another parental figure, but one more forgiving and kind. She and Koril share some type of intimate relationship, possibly romantic, and lead a coven of witches that are evocative of the Dark Side-weilding Night Sisters of Dathomir who played a significant role in the Clone Wars animated series. Aniseya teaches the girls a view of the Force that prioritizes collective action and cooperation in manipulating it, emphasizing that two or more working together can have much more effective results than one working solo--a metaphore for the coven as well. Mae goes through with the Ascension ceremony, becoming a full member of the coven, but as Osha is about to reluctantly participate, a party of Jedi show up and essentially demand to test the girls for their potential as Jedi. Aniseya and Koril are concerned the Jedi will discover the twins were "created" by Aniseya, so order the girls to intentionally fail the Jedi tests. Mae happily fails but Mae, enamoured by the Jedi and wanting to see the galaxy, passes, and admits she and her sister were told to fail. Aniseya is not happy, but appears to consent to Osha departing with the Jedi. Mae is less understanding, and locks Osha in her room while setting it on fire in an attempt to kill her sister. Osha escapes through a vent only to discover the entire coven dead within the fortress. As the fire spreads, Jedi Sol shows up to rescue her. He tries to reach Mae as well, but Mae apparently falls to her death. As the Jedi depart the planet, Osha insists they need to return for Mae. Sol, clearly distressed, tells Osha that Mae is dead and there is nobody left to return for. Mae, however, is waiting for Osha beneath the bunta tree from the opening of the episode.

Disturbances in the Force: I watched this episode more than a week ago before departing for a trip to the East Coast, and had not seen the online "controversy" about this episode prior to my return. Two objections seem to dominate: that Jedi are literally stealing children and that the Force does not operate the way depicted by the coven. First, "abducting children" strikes me as pretty much how the Jedi operate, as in Phantom Menace Qui-Gon Jinn expended a tremendous amount of effort to gain custody of Anakin Skywalker but pretty much zero effort to rescue his mother, Shimi, from slavery. That's pretty dark. And as Qui-Gon has since been portrayed as the one Jedi most attuned to the Force, I have little inclination to write that episode off as an isolated incident. As for the coven's novel manipulation of the Force, I don't see how this depiction is problematic in any way. The Night Sisters of Dathomir clearly accessed the Force through use of what we would consider spells, far outside the skill set of the Jedi. Look, Nikolai Tesla knew more about electricity in his time than any other human, but he didn't understand the inverse square law would preclude his scheme to ever provide free energy through the air worldwide, and he outright dismissed atomic theory, which we now know is 100% responsible for the phenomenon of electricity. Tesla did not believe in electrons. Tesla was wrong about the nature of electricity on the most fundamental of levels, but that did not stop him from being a brilliant researcher and inventor where electricity is concerned. The Force simply is. The Force does not care about rules or ritual. It is a made up concept that was wonderfully vague in the original films, became overtly technical in the prequel trilogy (the midi-chlorian meter makes a subtle return this episode) but remains an elastic concept that is not rigid in the sense of a D20 rules system. The Jedi understand the Force, from a certain point of view. The coven understands the Force, from a certain point of view. If an isolated religious sect accesses the Force from a different point of view than the Jedi, more power to 'em.

Now that I've addressed what other people think about this episode, what about what I think about it? This series continues to keep me off-balance and guessing. We all knew there would be a flashback episode, but the way these narratives usually work, it would arrive around episode 6 in an 8-episode series, revealing all the backstory before the story climaxes. Not so this time, which makes me think we have another flashback--possibly two--lying in wait before all is said and done. What we have here is a science fiction version of Rashomon that is busy messing with the viewers' collective heads. The coven is clearly intended to remind fans of the Night Sisters of Dathomir and the inclusion of the Maul-like Koril is priming the viewer to view the coven as evil, beholden to the Dark Side. But the viewers see nothing overtly evil from any of the coven, rather, they've a collective society of women who appear to care for each other and the children while remaining suspicious of outsiders for fear of persecution. They're literally a stand-in for every nascent religious sect that has ever existed in human society, fearful of the Jedi in power throwing them to the lions (or rancor, or sarlaac, or whatever space beastie you may prefer). The Jedi come off as arrogant and high-handed, but this is from the perspective of the coven. A future flashback may well show the Jedi acting in good faith, believing Evil Is Afoot. Finally, the final events during Osha's escape make little sense taken at face value. From a critical writerly perspective, the stone fortress should not have rapidly caught fire and said fire should not have spread as quickly as it did unless the coven did something incredibly stupid, such as building their fortress out of coal. Then we see the coven dead, presumably slaughtered by the Jedi, but the Jedi are not actually shown doing this. Mae is depicted with overt Dark Side inclinations, but her future self, while skilled as a Force-using assassin is certainly incapable of wiping out her own coven (and mothers!) as a child, no matter how angry and unhinged. Finally, the Jedi--especially Sol--seem shaken by the events, that things went horribly sideways was not the intended outcome for them or the children. This is reenforced by the guilt we've seen from these same people in the first two episodes.

My prediction, for what it's worth, is that this coven is an outcast sect that is no longer affiliated with the Witches of Dathomir, that seek to balance the Light and Dark sides of the Force to live in harmony (or some analog thereof) and aren't the evil cult we're obviously supposed to take them for. The Jedi, for their part, are acting with high ideals and best intentions, but misunderstand the situation and their attempts to make things better actually make things worse. On top of that, attempts to rectify those errors further compound the problem. Lost in all of this is the Sith-esque figure briefly seen in the first episode who trained Mae as an assassin. I expect this shadowy figure is manipulating both sides against the middle, seeking to inflict loss on the hated Jedi while simultaneously wiping out a sect of witches who pose a potential threat to the Sith power in some way.

There's so much misdirection in this series thus far that taking anything at face value is a risk I'm not willing to take. This show certainly isn't on the artistic level of Rashomon but I appreciate the ambition. I appreciate the fact this show is trying to do something novel within the Star Wars universe. That's no guarantee The Acolyte will stick the landing, but anyone writing this show off as "destroying" Star Wars or dismissing it as "the worst ever" are seriously jumping the gun.

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The Acolyte episode 2: Revenge/Justice

The Acolyte is a new series streaming on Disney+. It is set in the Star Wars universe and occurs 100 years before the fall of the Jedi and subsequent rise of the Empire.

What happened: Assasin Mae shows up on the planet Olega to kill another Jedi, Master Torbin. Mae infiltrates the local Jedi temple and avoids contact with several run-of-the-mill knights, which hints that her vendetta is personal and limited in scope. She discovers Torbin deep in a Force-induced trance called the Barash Vow, having not spoken to anyone for a decade. Mae's attempted assassination on him does not go well, his passive Force defense blocking her every attack. Frustrated, Mae flees as the temple goes on alert. She rendezvous at a local apothecary shop that Qimir, her... suppoort staff? accomplice? lover? ...has taken over, presumably by killing the owner. Mae is intent on killing Torbin without a weapon in order to gain favor with her Sith(?) master, but asks Qimir to mix up an exotic poison for her. Sol, Osha, Yord and Jecki arrive hunting for Mae after learning of the failed attack on Torbin. Mae returns to the temple just ahead of them, and confronts Torbin. She offers him the poison, saying his choice is to either take it and earn her forgiveness or confess his crimes at the Jedi temple on Coruscant. Torbin breaks his trance, asks for forgiveness before taking the poison and insists, "We thought we were doing the right thing." At that moment, Osha sees a Force vision of Mae as a child and breaks away from the group to follow. The vision leads her to Torbin, now quite dead. As Osha is examining the body she is discovered by temple Jedi along with Sol and Jecki. The local Jedi understandably freak out, accusing her of murder, and it looks for all the world like we're in for another "wrong place, wrong time" misunderstanding that will end up with her entire party on the run as fugitives. But no, Yord steps out of the shadows and says he was following her the entire time (because he absolutely doesn't trust her) and that Osha absolutely did not kill Torbin. Osha recognizes the poison as being unique to her homeworld, so they stake out the local apothecary, determine that Qimir is not the normal proprietor, and send Osha in disguised as Mae to pump him for information. Osha, despite being quick-witted and self-assured up to this point, fumbles and stammers her way through the deception, barely making it a full minute before Qimir figures she's not Mae. Then the real Mae shows up, discovers Osha isn't deal like she thought, gets cornered by Yord and Sol before kicking up a Force-powered sandstorm to escape. But not before Osha intentionally misses hitting her with a few blaster shots. The Jedi Council orders Sol & co. to return to Coruscant as viewers learn that Mae is now going after Kelnacca, a Wookiee Jedi living on the Planet Khofar.

Disturbances in the Force: The weird pacing issues continue, as does the weird red herrings. The most obvious of these is setting up Osha to be falsely accused of killing Torbin, but literally moments after that is put on the table Yord completely deflates it. I like the idea of the Jedi who trusts Osha least of all being put in the position of grudgingly vouching for her, but the entire exchange went by so fast that it barely registered. I'm honestly not sure what that accomplished, because in dramatic terms the blink-and-you-miss-it reversal carried no narrative weight. The only thing it did for me was give me a twinge that they may be setting up Yord as a love interest for Osha, which, if so, is almost certain to be handled abruptly with fists of ham.

In hindsight, one thing I now realize I forgot to mention last episode is that when Indara fights Mae and believes she recognizes her, Indara actually believes she is facing Osha, as at this point everyone believes Mae died more than a decade before. We also learn that Mae is absolutely honest when saying she has unfinished business with the Jedi--her vendetta is limited two four from that long-ago incident: Indara and Torbin, both now dead, Sol and Kelnacca (who will presumably be dead by the end of episode 3). The narrative is less info-dumpy this time around and more linear, with less confusion imposed upon the viewer. I like it that Mae is showing self-doubt and vulnerability in addition to determination. I like that she has defeated two Jedi now who were both far more powerful and accomplished than she by outthinking them. It's also interesting that Mae is completely surprised to learn that Osha is alive. There's some harping on the mantra that Mae and Osha are two parts of one whole, and I'm wondering how that will (literally) manifest itself. Osha has almost no conscious control of the Force but is regularly experiencing passive visions that lead her to the right place at the right time. Mae, on the other hand, had pretty impressive physical control over the Force, using it skillfully in combat despite never having undergone Jedi training (Sith training remains an open question). Yet Mae seems completely disconnected from the "knowledge and defense" aspect of the Force. Yet she continues to outthink her more skilled opponents to escape time and again. There was a moment during the sandstorm that I expected Mae to turn up in the ship overing above to take Jecki hostage or something similar to effect her escape. That didn't happen, so either that's yet another red herring whizzing past or I've gotten to the point of reading too much into this show. I still haven't quite figured out Jecki's purpose in this narrative.

All in all, I found episode 2 a definite improvement over episode 1 (which wasn't great, but wasn't bad, either). I've learned there are dudebros pissing and moaning and review bombing this series all over the interwebz, to which I roll my eyes. We're getting a freaking Wookie Jedi in episode 3, folks! Had I gotten to see The Acolyte 30 years ago I'd have lost my damn mind. It's not as good as Andor or even Mandalorian, but I'm enjoying it more than Fett and Ahsoka, and enjoying the new things they're doing without tying everything back to the Skywalker family. So it's got that going for it.

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The Acolyte episode 1: Lost/Found

The Acolyte is a new series streaming on Disney+. It is set in the Star Wars universe and occurs 100 years before the fall of the Jedi and subsequent rise of the Empire.

What happened: A Force-using assassin confronts Jedia Master Indara on Ueda. The assassin insists she's there on unfinished business. Indara believes she recognizes the assassin and is surprised by this. After some dramatic Force-enhanced martial arts, the assassin (although clearly outmatched) kills the Jedi by using endangered bystanders as a distraction. Sometime thereafter Jedi Yord arrives at a Nemodian cargo vessel and arrests Osha, a meknek (repair tehnician) on the ship, for Indara's murder. Yord and Osha know each other. Not only does Osha match the description of the killer and had no alibi for the previous day, it turns out that she departed the Jedi order as a Padawan under murky terms six years prior and had a strained relationship with Indara. Shipped to Coruscant on a prison ship, Osha is caught up in a prisoner escape. Left behind when all the escape pods are stolen by fleeing prisoners, she rides the damaged prison ship to a crash landing on the froze world of Carlac. While stranded there, Osha has a Force vision that leads her to believe her twin sister, Mae, thought to have died in a tragic fire as a child, is actually alive. On Coruscant, Jedi Sol, Osha's former master, is sent to hunt for his former Padawan along with his current Padawan, Jecki, and Yord. Osha tries to flee but is cornered, where she tells Sol that Mae is still alive. The episode ends with Mae reporting to her boss, a mysterious figure with a red lightsaber.

Disturbances in the Force: Talk about bait-and-switch. All of the promotional materials in the lead-up to this show heavily featured Carrie-Ann Moss as a Jedi, and she was unceremoniously killed off five minutes in. I'm sure we'll see more of her in flashbacks, but the move feels like a cheap stunt. Yes, it shows none of the main characters are safe from harm, but viewers know none of these characters yet. The Force-Fu martial arts fight was fun and something we'd not seem in Star Wars until now, but Moss' presence here just draws attention to how similar the fight choreography is to the Matrix films. There are more red herrings--when we first see Osha, immediately following Indara's death, some of the first dialog brings up the fact that her crewmates don't know where she was earlier on her day off. Of course we assume she's a deep-cover assassin as Amandla Stenberg plays both Osha and Mae. As viewers, we figure out pretty quickly that Osha cannot be the killer--her personality isn't a front and even though she's a former Padawan, her use of the Force is limited at best--a far cry from the skills of Mae. This misdirection comes and goes fairly quickly, which leaves me scratching my head. If it's a genuine red herring I'd expect the episode to string the audience along longer, but instead the show's like "Ha ha! Fooled you again!" and then moving on. I get that this is supposed to be a mystery, and reversals and red herrings are staples of the genre, but it's so slight and incidental it's almost like a stutter-step. There's another scene where Sol explains to Jecki that Osha's sister died in a fire long before, that he watched her die. Yet as soon as Osha say's Mae's alive, Sol is like, "Yeah, that makes sense." I have a growing feeling that any dialog or character development may be rendered meaningless in the very next scene. This show gives me whiplash from scene to scene.

That may seem like I hate this show. No, I'm actually enjoying it with some reservations. There is behind-the scenes intrigue, with reference to the Jedi's political opponents using Indara's death against them. The characters are entertaining. Yord is a pompous ass who in High Republic Jedi regalia and uses rules as a blunt force instrument. What's great is that the other characters don't seem to like him much more than the viewers. Jecki is an eager-to-please Padawan who is also by-the-book, but not to the extreme of Yord. And Sol is a veteran Jedi haunted by regret. Osha is the plucky heroine out of her depth and unable to use the Force to get her out of scrapes. Mae is the ruthless killer on a mission of vengeance who can use the Force quite well, even though she's not particularly powerful compared to Jedi. The "twins separated at birth" shtick was well-worn before Star Wars used it the first time with Luke and Leia, but I'm willing to give it a chance.

Another nice touch is that none of the ships look familiar. Likewise for the droids. The clothing, too--especially the formal Jedi robes that are more pompous and elegant than the monk robes seen in other films and series. The Force-Fu fights were fun even if I wish they'd have drawn less attention to the fact they are completely derivative of The Matrix. I love the idea of a Force-trained assassin defeating more powerful Jedi through trickery. I'm not enamoured with the idea of a Sith pulling the strings--why does it have to be Jedi vs. Sith again? But judging by Trinity's early exit and the other red herrings in this episode, that could be a misdirection as well.

This is the first of the live action Star Wars series to have an infodump text crawl at the opening. Well, the text didn't actually crawl, it just sat there. But you know what I mean.

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Kaiju theater: Godzilla Minus One

I finally saw Godzilla Minus One. I went on a Tuesday night and was equally surprised and delighted to see the screening was maybe 75% full. Contrast that with my previous experience of seeing a first-run Japanese Godzilla in theaters, when I was the only person there for a showing of Godzilla Millennium back in 2000. I have to report, with no degree of exaggeration, that Godzilla Minus One is easily the best Godzilla movie ever made. The conventional wisdom with Kaiju films is that the human characters/plots don't matter, that they are merely filler between monster fights. This is the first GOdzilla film where not only are the human characters compelling, but they are critical to framing the sheer scale and terror of Godzilla's rampage. This is what I was hoping we'd get (but didn't) with the U.S. Godzilla/Kong films (not in terms of plot, but rather in compelling human narrative, ie a smart script).

This is a film that has a LOT to say thematically about Japanese culture, WWII, PTSD, found family, the ease of dying vs. the difficulty of living, forgiveness, vengeance... I'm still processing it all.

The cinematography is lush and sophisticated. The direction is confident and intentional. The script is tight, thoughtful and very smart. The performers are all acting in an intense period drama... that just happens to have a giant Kaiju destroying cities. I won't go so far as to say this is the best film of the year as others have, but I will say it is among the best films of the year. It should absolutely earn a Oscar nomination in the best foreign film category.

While I don't think this is technically a remake of the original 1954 Godzilla, it is absolutely a remake. There is no way this film exists without that predecessor. So many story beats and visual cues are direct callbacks to that landmark movie. That said, this is its own film that is not slavishly retreading the trail blazed by the first. A significant part of the narrative was recycled from 1991's Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (a very fun film, but also a very dumb one) far more effectively than in that earlier film. Also, Isao Takahata's 1988 masterpiece Grave of the Fireflies echoes throughout. I never thought I'd say that about a Toho Godzilla film, but the comparisons are inescapable. My one complaint is that the monster design is influenced by 2016's Shin Godzilla, an interesting film but not my favorite Godzilla interpretation.

Not all in this film is doom and despair, however. I literally squeed in the theater when I saw what plane would be used in the finale. No spoilers, but this is literally my favorite fighter design of World War II and was the clearest sign that the filmmakers are 1) history buffs and 2) were pulling out all the stops.

Godzilla Minus One was produced for a reported $15 million. It looks like a $150 million film. Seriously. It is magnificent. Like Colossal did in 2016, it resets expectations of what stories Kaiju films are capable of telling. Among Godzilla Minus One, Shin Godzilla and the Godzilla anime trilogy, Toho is pushing the proverbial envelope with its Godzilla films. There is an inventiveness in these films, a willingness to think outside the box and take risks with a franchise recognized around the world. For this, I applaud them and hope they continue to surprise us for decades to come. If you have even passing interest in giant monster movies, so see this one. It's that good.

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I watched all of Clone Wars so you don't have to (but maybe you should)

So I watched the entirety of the Clone Wars animated series. I know there are many who are passionately devoted to this show and Dave Filoni is drawing on significant elements of continuity established therein for the live-action Disney+ shows, so I wanted to grok all the interconnected threads.

Being the obsessive that I am, I started with the Genndy Tartakovsky Clone Wars shorts. I didn't get Cartoon Network when they first aired so had never seen them. I'm glad I made the effort. Highly stylized and action-oriented, these shorts introduce character who play significant roles in Filoni's Clone Wars series, even if Tartakovsky's version is no longer canon.

The animated Clone Wars movie that launches the series introduces Padawan Ahsoka Tano and pairs her with Jedi Anakin Skywalker. This movie was met with much criticism upon release. It's not great. It tries very hard to be hip and edgy for pre-teens but only manages to come off as annoying. Quality wise, it's about on par with the direct-to-video animated sequels Disney used to pump out for their classic films. It is understandable why this one is not held in high regard. It almost put me off watching the series, but I soldiered on.

Seasons 1-4 of Clone Wars is much better, relatively speaking. I didn't feel it great, mind you. Compared to the animated shows aimed at kids from the 80s and 90s, yes, these episodes are more sophisticated and polished. There's still an echo of shoehorned "life lessons" apparent throughout, though. It's still a kid's show, albeit one parents can watch with their kids and not get too restless. The mid-Atlantic newsreel voiceover to start the episodes was certainly a choice, but I don't think every Star Wars project needs to replicate the opening crawl from the original films. The stylized animation took some getting used to but I came to accept it. So yeah, light years ahead of Ewok Adventures and Star Wars Droids.

Season 5 sees an interesting shift. Stand-alone and two-part episodes are abandoned in favor of five story arcs. Some are juvenile with those pesky life lessons, but others... Darth Maul returns. There is intrigue on Mandalore. Ahsoka is framed for murder and expelled from the Jedi Council. The series takes a serious turn and stops being a kiddie show. I take exception to George Lucas' revisionist history that Star Wars was "always a kids show." No, the original Star Wars was an "all ages" show. There's a big difference. In season 5 Filoni took Clone Wars from being a kids show to being an all ages show. It started feeling more like Star Wars and less like a Star Wars spinoff.

Season 6 and 7 came about after Clone Wars had been cancelled by Cartoon Network. At the time, they had 65 unfinished episodes in various stage of production for (presumably) three more full seasons. 25 of these unfinished episodes were ultimately completed (heavily referencing some of those other unfinished episodes that weren't so fortunate) to comprise two final seasons of 13 and 12 episodes. Again, these seasons lean heavily on multi-episode story arcs. What's more, they directly reference events from the prequels and build on the personalities of various clone troopers established earlier in the series. There are stakes here. Even a casual fan of Star Wars knows the ultimate outcome of many of these plotlines, but it's engrossing because we don't know how it will play out, who will live or who will die or who will fall somewhere in between. The final four episodes take place concurrently with events from Revenge of the Sith and presented as a story distinct from the rest of the Clone Wars series. And it works so well. The final two seasons of Clone Wars elevate all three of Lucas' Star Wars prequels, flawed though they may be. This isn't some backhanded compliment like saying JJ Abrams' sequel trilogy making the prequels look better in comparison. No, these final 25 episodes genuinely make the prequels better, filling in certain plot holes and adding context and character and a great deal of "what if?" for roads not taken.

It's doubtful seasons 1-4 could ever had achieved that level of sophistication and depth given the corporate and studio mandates Filoni was operating under, but the early cancellation likely gave him the freedom to go for broke and tell the stories he truly wanted to tell, corporate pushback be damned. If that's the case, then bravo, sir. Success on all counts.

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The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance episode 10

Episode 10: A Single Piece Was Lost

Obligatory Plot Summary: An explosion shakes Stone-in-the-Wood, startling Rian. Deet, it turns out, is making smoke bombs that are mostly harmless but she hopes they'll confuse and distract the Skeksis. There's another almost-romantic moment between Deet and Rian, but Deet's eyes glow, reminding the viewer that's she's got the corrupting Darkening inside of her. Various Gelfling groups begin arriving at Stone-in-the-Wood to face off against the coming Skeksis attack. Back at the Castle of the Crystal, the Chamberlain reneges on his promise to free the Gruenacks. The Gruenacks, realizing they'll never be freed, find and pocket an Arathim stinger (at least, that's what I think it is) from the Scientist's lab. The Emperor goes to the pit where the Darkening is, and draws is into his staff to use as a weapon. As the Skeksis march off to war, the Scientist is left behind. Angry at not getting a chance to win glory, the Scientist plays a game of make-believe, pretending he's the Emperor and terrorizing the Podling slaves. About this time Hunter wakes up from being mostly dead. After the Podlings flee in terror, Hunter derides the Scientist as a coward and races off to join the battle. The Gruenacks cut their bindings and rebel against the Scientist. The fight is jarringly brutal, with the Scientist throwing one into the Crystal pit and bludgeoning the other to death. At Stone-in-the-Wood, Rian challenges the Emperor to single combat. The General fights in the Emperor's place, and after briefly overwheming Rian with his superior size and strength, the General finds himself on the receiving end with nimble Rian manages to stab him with the Dual Glaive. The General's life force flows into the Glaive. The General's about to die, when Rian declares out of the blue, "I am no killer" and spared the General. War then breaks out. The female Gelflings fly in, dropping smoke bombs (which don't smoke all that much but make big explosions). The Skeksis' battle armor, however, has knife and axe catapults built into it, and Maudra Fara takes a fatal wound after pushing Seladon out of the way. Fara's fizgig wails in despair. Away from the battle, the Chamberlain finds the wounded General hiding. The General asks his friend for help, but the Chamberlain kills him instead, saying "You took my seat on the council." About this time, Hunter shows up, grabs Rian and destroys the Dual Glaive with his bare hands. About this time, on the other side of Thra at the Circle of the Suns, Archer revives, says "The hunt must end" and throws himself off the cliff to his death below, simultaneously ending Hunter's life as well. As Hunter dies, Aughra is reborn from his ashes. All the other Gelfling clans arrive then, and the Skeksis, as powerful as they are, have already lost their two strongest warriors and are doomed. The Emperor, however, unleashes the Darkening from his staff like he's impersonating the Emperor from Star Wars. He attacks the Gelflings with the nasty purple stuff, but Deet steps up and says, "I've seen that movie, too. Here's my Yoda impression!" She catches the Darkening Lightning, takes it into herself then throws it back at the Skeksis. The Collector's head explodes in a gooey, gross mess. The Skeksis flee. Gelflings celebrate. They find a single crystal shard in the pommel of the ruined Dual Glaive and realize it's from the cracked Crystal of Truth, and the shard is actually their hope against the Skeksis, not the Glaive. Deet flees Rian and the other Gleflings, the corruption of the Darkening radiating out from her as she runs. Back at the Circle of the Suns, Hup mourns the loss of Archer, but--with neither the Heretic nor the Wanderer to be seen--finds the amulet that controls the stone golem Lore. And at the Castle of the Crystal, the defeated Skeksis arrive in a state of near panic until the Scientist reveals his latest creation--the giant, insectoid Garthin, and undead construct stitched together from Arathim and Gruenack parts. The end.

Musings: Holy hell, this episode pissed me off so much. Not because it's terrible. No, there were parts that were great. But the parts that sucked, ye gods, they sucked so badly they undermined everything that was good. The core problem is that the show lost its nerve. I don't know if it was producer Lisa Henson or director Louis Leterrier or screenwriters Jeffrey Addiss & Will Matthews, but the worst moments came when the show jarringly pulled back from being a serious show about a people facing genocide to being a safe, kid-friendly puppet show. When Rian, abruptly announces his refusal to kill the General, it defied all logic. The Skeksis had slaughtered hundreds of Gelflings, and had boldly announced they would continue to do so. They'd lied. They'd corrupted Gelfling society. They'd betrayed everyone and everything who'd ever trusted them. They killed his father, Ordon, and his lover, Mira. They freaking drained Aughra, essentially the avatar of Thra itself. Rian had challenged the Skeksis to war, then the Emperor to single combat. For him to suddenly decide killing is beneath him is a weird morality lesson that may be okay for comic book super-heroes but not Gelfling when the alternative is genocide and extinction. It. Makes. Zero. Sense. What does he think will happen next? The Skeksis say "My bad" and play nice from here on out? Another example of the Gelflings playing at war but not fighting to survive were the embarrasing "smoke bombs." They neither exploded enough to injure Skeksis nor smoked enough to have any appreciable impact on the battle. After setting up the Gelflings to be in a fight for survival the previous nine episodes--where Seladon has been shown as ready and willing to kill and sacrifice innocent Gelflings just to hang on to her illusion of power--the sudden shift to the idea that Gelflings are kind and gentle and do not kill is utter bullshit. They've shown themselves more than willing to slaughter Arathim, for crying out loud! That's not just bad writing, it's insulting writing. The Skeksis lost three of their number during the battle with the Gelfings, and up to that point had been viewed as godlike and immortal. Instead of celebrating, the Gelflings and their Arathim allies should've swarmed the Emperor and his party and strung them all up, then marched on the Castle of the Crystal, killed the Scientist and his single Garthim, then restored the Crystal. In any sane, logical universe this would've happened. Oh, sure for the sake of continuing the series such an action needs to fail--I understand that. But right now, it's happening because the Gelflings are being idiots, and the narrative only progresses because it's an idiot plot. Also, from a dramatic point of view, bringing Aughra back the episode immediately following her apparent death just diminishes that earlier sacrifice. You've got to sell the death, and make the viewer believe this timeline really is diverging from that of the movie, so when Aughra returns, it's a dramatic, mind-blowing moment. You don't hit the reset button at the end of Infinity War. You hit it to start the finale of Endgame, the payoff to an epic amount of struggle and sacrifice to reach that point. That's a worthy payoff, not Aughra coming back through no action of her's or the Gelflings', but rather a character who's been offstage for 95 percent of this series.

You know, I really like this series in many ways, but I hate it just as passionately because the lazy, bad, poorly-thought-out moments betray those good ones. The plot relies on coincidence and deus ex machina way too much, and for all the creativity and imagination on display, there are equal measures of Hollywood cliche at work as well. I sincerely hope this series gets renewed by Netflix for a second season, but for the love of Pete, I hope they invest as much effort in the scripts as they have in the amazing puppetry on display. The Henson Company is better than this--the showed that much with Farscape back in the day. I'm just ready for them to prove their storytelling chops can match their ability to produce glorious eye candy.

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The Dark Crystal: Age of Restistance episode 9

Episode 9: The Crystal Calls

Obligatory Plot Summary: Having escaped the Darkening-tainted caves of Grot, Rian is about to go back in to search for the Dual Glaive when the Grottan Maudra Fara reveals that she's had half of it all along, disguised as a walking stick. Maudra Fara then mind melds... er, Dreamfasts with Rian, showing him that his father, Ordon, took up the Dual Glaive during the Arathim during the battle of Stone-In-The-Wood years before. After emerging victorious, Ordon separated the glaive into its parts, giving one to Maudra Fara for safekeeping, and hiding the other in the weapons forge at Stone-In-The-Wood. Rian and Deet head off on a landstrider to retrieve the other half of the magic sword. Back at the Castle of the Crystal, the Skeksis have Seladon and Brea and other Gelflings are prepped to be drained of their essence when Aughra arrives. After squabbling with the Skeksis, she makes a deal with the Emperor--if the Gelflings are freed, she will allow herself to be drained so that Hunter may be brought back from the bring of death. The Emperor agrees, but orders the General to kill the freed Gelflings before they can escape the castle. As the Gelflings are leaving, Arathim-possessed Tavra confides in her sisters that the Arathim and Gelflings have allied against the Skeksis, and the trade is Aughra's plan. The General and Collector ambush the Gelflings, but Tavra stabs him with her sword, giving him a grave wound as a Spitter surprises the Collector with a burst of venom to her face. Tavra pursues the General as the other Gelfling escape, but is attacked by the Chamberlain before she can finish the General off. The General expects Chamberlain to kill him, but instead the Chamberlain gives him Gelfling essence, healing his wound and saving his life. Aughra mocks the Skeksis as she is drained, saying she will return to Thra when she dies, but they will be nothing but dust. Aughra dissipates in a burst of light as she is drained, and the Skeksis give her essence to Hunter. Hunter trembles but does not revive and is given up for dead. Brea and Seladon find Tavra just as she dies, and reconcile. The General, Chamberlain and Collector return to the Emperor, warning of the Gelfling/Arathim alliance. The General advocates they pursue the Chamberlain's plan of having the Scientist build an army out of reanimated Arathim carcasses. The Emperor, emboldened, declares that Skeksis cannot die, and has Hunter's corpse propped up at the court table like a marionette, El Cid-style. Across Thra, Rian and Deet reach Stone-In-The-Wood and Rian retrieves the second part of the glaive. Magic happens when it's joined together, Rian experiences a cascade of visions, including Jen returning the jamming the shard back into the Crystal in the movie. All Gelfling fires on Thra turn blue, and allowing Rian to speak to all Gelflings across the world. The Crystal also responds, attracting the Skeksis, and the Emperor threatens all the Gelfling through the burning Facetime app, but Rian faces him down and announces that he'll meet the Skeksis in battle at Stone-In-The-Wood, calling on all the Gelfling clans to join him against their treacherous overlords. As the Skeksis prepare for battle, nobody notices Hunter's hand twitching.

Musings: This was an uneven episode, but quite strong in places. Aughra's warning that Skeksis "will only be dust" is an overt reference to the movie, and a clue that Hunter is not dead. That was heavy-handed, and a little frustrating as it telegraphs that the show really doesn't trust its audience to suss things out. Aughra's draining, however, was a shocking moment. It was unexpected and reinforces the notion that this series has shifted into a different timeline than the original movie. This, of course, is immediately undercut by Rian's vision when the Dual Glaive is joined, as Jen's appearance indicates they actually are still in the same timeline. But the loss of Aughra is still confounding. Seladon continues to be an irredeemable bitch throughout most of the episode, until she finally comes to her senses when Tavra dies. Her character is extremely problematic, as she seems to lust after power for power's sake. The previous episode, even after learning the truth about the Skeksis, she tried to bargain to keep her grip on power, offering to sacrifice seven innocent Gelflings for the Skeksis to do with as they please. Even the Skeksis were disgusted by this craven move. Yet following Tavra's death, Seladon suddenly does a 180 and is all about Team Gelfling after that. This character whiplash doesn't track, and feeds into my criticism of this series--the characters are often juvenile, acting in certain ways because the script demands it of them, not out of organic character development. Seladon, were she to stay true to character, may well turn against the Skeksis out of self-preservation, but she would still be haughty and high-handed with the other Gelflings to ensure her continued grip on power. I was troubled by the Arathim sending only one of their own to fight the General and Collector, a half-hearted move that seemed destined to fail, and it did. Finding the scattered pieces of the Dual Glaive is classic plot-coupon plotting, and left me unimpressed. The magic blue fire was a plot development of convenience. Magic only seems to exist in this world when the script writer needs it to make some narrative bridge, and this was no exception. Magic is somewhat rare in this universe, but spectacular when it manifests. Despite this, the Gelflings seem both ignorant and disinterested in it. The episode starts out fairly strong, but by the end, what is supposed to be a triumphant set-up for the season finale is thoroughly undercut by cliche and a forced sense of drama.

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The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance episode 8

Episode 8: Prophets Don't Know Everything

Okay, apology time. I've been way remiss in my reviews, to the point where they may not matter anymore, if they ever did in the first place. Fact of the matter is, I finished the series prior to posting my review of episode 7. Unfortunately, life and the holidays and all manner of other things intervened to keep me from doing those writeups. When I finally sat down to render my final three reviews, I realized that I'd forgotten significant elements from the episodes, so hand to block out time to re-watch them. Grr. Maybe this time I'll close the deal.

Obligatory Plot Summary: In the ghost town that is now Stone-In-The-Wood, Aughra heals a wounded threader (mini mind-control Arathim) and chides it for attempting to mind-control her the previous episode. Seladon and her paladin escorts arrive, tsk tsking at the futile battle that had taken place. Arrogance turned up to 11, Seladon dismisses Aughra's warnings and declares that she will free Stone-In-The-Wood clan by negotiating with the Skeksis and reaffirming Gelfling loyalty. Aughra, crafty as always, slips her eye into Seladon's bag in order to spy on the meeting with the Skeksis, then sends the healed threader to follow. At the Castle of the Crystal, the Skeksis drain the essence of many captured Stone-In-The-Wood fighters, and also the former castle guard who alerted the Skeksis to the brewing guard revolt two episodes prior. With the Skeksis guzzling Essence like it's a Gatsby party, wily Chamberlain convinces the Gruenak slaves to switch the General's vial of essence with a fake, so he will weaken. The Gruenaks, desperate for freedom, agree. The General realizes his Essence isn't rejuvenating him, and is in the midst of a meltdown when Seladon arrives. The Emperor mocks her mercilessly before throwing her in the dungeon with the other surviving Gelflings. Aughra sees Seladon's failure, and the threader retrieves her eye. Elsewhere, Deet and Rian depart the Circle of the Suns by flying through the subterranean tunnels, buoyed by the hot wind known as the Breath of Thra. They reach Grot to discover Arathim have overrun it, mind-controlling the Gelflings with threaders. Deet's possessed little brother, Bobb'n, discovers them and is calling other Arathim to capture them when a darkened Nurloc attacks. Rian saves Bobb'n by distracting the Nurloc. Intrigued, Bobb'n leads Rian and Deet to the main gathering of Arathim, where the Gelflings discover that Grot was the Arathim's ancestral home, until the Skeksis drove them out and replace them with Gelflings. Deet and Rian warn the Arathim the Skeksis intend for them all to be killed by the mad Nurlocs, and the Arathim agree to an alliance with Gelflings. Back at the Castle, Hunter arrives with captive Brea, then promptly collapses, riddled with arrows. Fearing that Hunter was brought down by Gelflings, the Emperor orders that all remaining essence be given to Hunter in order to save him. When this fails, the Emperor orders the draining of every Gelfling on Thra. The Grottan Gelflings and Arathim escape the rampaging Nurlocs by climbing up the Sanctuary tree. The darkened Nurlocs attack the tree itself, and the tree transfers its magic to Deet, who calms the Nurlocs by drawing the darkening out of them into herself. She collapses and Rian carries her to safety.

Musings: This was a solid episode. Exceptionally solid. There was real emotion here, urgency, high stakes. The actions of all the characters felt in line with their personalities, as opposed to doing something because the script demanded it. The hinted romance between Deet and Rian still feels forced and wrong, but at least it remains implied rather than overt. Seladon's meeting with the Skeksis court is a high point in this series, with the arrogant All-Maudra getting a hilariously cruel comeuppance. Seriously, the Skeksis Emperor's deliberate consideration of each of Seladon's proposals before delivering a mocking, "No," is amazing. As is the guffaws and cackles of the other Skeksis, like a pack of junior high kids who'd just figured out how to spell "BOOBIES" on a calculator. And I have to say, the performance of Aughra continues to be outstanding. I'm just amazed at how immediate and tactile the character is. Yes, it's essentially a person wearing a puppet, but most of the time it feels like an actress wearing very, very good makeup.

There's one more thing I want to bring up--I'd intended to do so several episodes back, but like a dolt, forgot. Remember how back in episode 1 I said there were some apparent deviations from the original movie that felt jarring? Well, Aughra has made comments about setting things in motion and trying to manage outcomes. I've had a growing... suspicion isn't the right word, perhaps wondering? A growing wondering if Age of Resistance is toying with quantum theory, in that all possible timelines and outcomes are equally valid, equally real, and that Aughra is able to see each of them. That the reality presented in the original Dark Crystal film is but one possibility that is not necessarily a guaranteed outcome. I am curious as to how this will play out.

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