Thursday, March 16, 2006

Childhood nirvana

Okay, you I'm taking off from work for a couple of weeks to help Lisa with Orion. In all honesty, Lisa handles Orion pretty well on her own, but it's the other two kids--Calista and Keela--who are climbing the walls. They're bored. They want to do something fun. Patience has never been a virtue of these Blaschke women. What's a dad to do?

They didn't know where I was taking them. The anticipation was driving them buggy, until we turned into the parking lot and they saw that iconic Six Flags logo. Then it was sheer bedlam in the PT Cruiser. Fiesta Texas! Yay! If anyone had nominated Daddy for worldwide dictator for life, there'd been two very enthusiastic votes in favor right then and there.

I don't handle dizzy well. Never have. I avoid carousels and merry-go-rounds because motion sickness makes me barf. How sad is that? So of course the very first ride they want to go on is the "Wagon Wheel," which I now call the "Vomit Wheel." It starts out horizontal and then rises to vertial before dropping back down. I can handle forward velocity fine, so I figured this would be okay. I didn't count on the cars swinging from side to side during the ride. Yikes. I was in pathetic shape afterwards, and was queasy for at least an hour afterwards. And having a seven-year-old and a five-year-old taunt you isn't much fun, either.

The "Gully Washer" is one of those white water raft rides. I've grown very disappointed with them of late. This one was much like Sea World Texas' "Rio Loco," in that you simply don't get wet from the whitewater aspect of it. Very tame. The "wet" comes from an artificial waterfall the raft floats under--only the waterfall wasn't working this day. What a rip. Of all the whitewater rides I've been on, the late, lamented "Thunder River" at Astroworld is still far and away the best.

The girls are gettin' their kicks on Route 66. Yeah, it's pretty tame. But it's nice to know that some of the classics endure. I drove a clone of this many a time at Astroworld growing up, and it's nice to share that with the girls. My only complaint is that the Fiesta Texas version doesn't have a gas pedal--you can only go one uniform speed the whole way, rather than speeding up or slowing down. And the power went off for about two minutes while we were riding, forcing us to sit motionless for far longer than two hyper girls would like.

The girls automatically gravitated to the tallest, scariest, most dramatic rides in the park. Which we couldn't go on because A) Keela was usually too short, and B) Mommy wasn't along to wait with Keela while Calista rode. Which is why we didn't do any roller coasters this time around (Okay, Keela was tall enough for the "Road Runner Express," a real rollercoaster as opposed to the kiddie-sized "RollerShuhCoaster," but they were having mechanical problems with it and shut it down). But when they saw "Die Fledermaus" begging kicked into high gear.

Alas, Keela was an inch or so too short, and couldn't go. But Calista begged. And begged. And seeing has I had many fond memories of "The Gunslinger" from Astroworld, which was pretty much the same thing, I granted Calista permission to go by herself while Keela watched. The results, as they say, were predictable (Photoshop enhanced for your viewing pleasure).

They've been begging to go back every day since.

Now Playing: Billy Joel An Innocent Man


  1. Seeing those two young'uns in that car is scary, looks so real, like Calista is already driving. Love,

  2. Anonymous9:12 PM

    PAY BACK TIME Daddy Jayme - Calista and Keela keep taunting Dad - he did the same to his Mom - remember those cable cars - to me they were terrible and you kept swaying and whatever else you could to get a reaction which you promptly did. Love, Mom