Friday, September 16, 2011

42: Life, the universe and birthdays

So, the birthday thing. I don't always do so good with them. There's lots more gray in my hair, my driver's license says I'm not allowed to drive without my glasses, and I've got a rickety gut seemingly held together with duct tape and bailing wire. All those bones I broke decades ago have started reminding me about those misadventures and generally all the parts that make up the whole aren't quite like a well-oiled machine anymore. I don't suppose I should complain much, though, as my blood pressure's good and my blood chemistry is excellent for a guy my age and weight.

Still, I'm not down with that "aging gracefully" thing. How else to describe my culinary dance with the infamous Ghost Chili last year? When you wake up and realize there are more miles behind the cart than remain in front, and the ambition of youth has given way to the lowered expectations of middle age, it ain't so easy to maintain a chipper outlook. Be that as it may, this is one birthday that isn't going to throw me into a funk. Being the science fictional geek that I am, I embrace the 42nd anniversary of my appearance upon the Earth, and celebrate the fact that our world has yet to be demolished to make way for a hyperspatial bypass. Since my accumulation of years is now equivalent to the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything I will henceforth stride boldly into the coming year with the all the enthusiastic mayhem I can muster in good conscience. After all, 42 is the last cool-numbered birthday worthy of celebrating (with the obvious exception of 69, of course, but the breakdown of the ol' chassis leaves significant doubt as to whether I'll be able to acquit myself properly as befits such an august number).

  1. Finish that damn Chicken Ranch book (okay, although this list is purposefully presented in No Particular Order, this particular elephant in the proverbial room is too big to pretend it isn't no. 1. Many, many other entries on this list depend wholly or in part in getting Dumbo to fly).
  2. Stop dwelling so much about what other people think of me. Stop censoring and limiting and restricting and misrepresenting myself in some misguided attempt to earn their approval. This does not mean I intent to turn myself into a loudmouth oaf with delusions of assholery (beyond what certain parties may already ascribe to me, that is).
  3. Finish my in-progress short story "A Life Less Illustrated."
  4. Be a better father and husband.
  5. Be a better role model for my children (and no, that's not necessarily the same as no. 4, although I agree there is overlap).
  6. Return to work on my half-finished fantasy novel, Wetsilver.
  7. Fill out my Farscape collection with the missing episodes from season 3 I don't have.
  8. Watch the entire run of Farscape, in order, from the pilot episode through Peacekeeper Wars (see no. 7).
  9. Finish converting the garage into a home photography studio.
  10. Lose 25 pounds.
  11. Watch Deep Throat with The Wife (see no. 2).
  12. Finish my in-progress short story "The Shoals of Cibola."
  13. Stop yelling so much/Keep my temper under control (probably should be two entries, but they kinda go hand in hand).
  14. Get back to that radio script I'm supposed to be writing with Mark Finn.
  15. Learn to scuba.
  16. Spend a long weekend in Guadalupe Mountains National Park, photographing landscapes and wildlife.
  17. Find a publisher for Voices of Wonder, my second collected volume of genre-themed interviews.
  18. Read Don Quixote.
  19. Enroll in photography courses at Texas State (I pulled a 4.0 in the photography courses I took two years back, and now circumstances may allow me to take the next round).
  20. Pull a 4.0 for the semester (see no 19).
  21. Put together that Apollo-Soyuz model kit I bought 20 years ago.
  22. Surprise The Wife with a Canon EF 24-70 2.8 L lens (if you see the price, you'll know why it'd be a surprise).
  23. Read those Hunger Games books.
  24. Finish that Green Arrow musical thing.
  25. Buy a new car.
  26. Publish (or rather, find a publisher for) my short story collection.
  27. Photograph a Division I-A football game from the sidelines.
  28. Get back to that short story I'm supposed to be writing with Chris Nakashima-Brown.
  29. Spend the better part of a week in New Orleans with The Wife (okay, this is a cheat, since we're already booked to go to Imaging USA).
  30. Return to, and finish, Memory, my online serial storytelling experiment.
  31. Visit Cape Canaveral. And the Everglades while I'm at it.
  32. If that buffoon Rick Perry wins the GOP presidential nomination, make my first-ever political contribution to any and all candidates capable of keeping that lunatic out of the White House.
  33. Spend a long weekend in Big Bend National Park, photographing landscapes and wildlife.
  34. Buy my dream telescope, the Meade LXD75 SN-10AT (f/4) Schmidt-Newtonian.
  35. Begin writing Sailing Venus, my long-delayed YA novel. My kids aren't getting any younger.
  36. Re-unite The Kinks (hey, a guy can dream).
  37. Write that "Airships and Apes" challenge story put forth by Joe Lansdale.
  38. See the Blue Man Group live.
  39. Rewrite "Where the Rubber Meets the Road."
  40. More skyrockets in flight.
  41. Get a Canon FD 500mm f/8 reflex lens and convert it to EF mount with an Optix V5+ focus confirmation chip with "Trap Focus" feature.
  42. Re-read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Now Playing: John Mellencamp Human Wheels Chicken Ranch Central

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