Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" is, in my estimation, pretty much the perfect music video. What's not to love? It's got dancing ninjas, leather-clad biker gangs, football players, some kind of weird S&M shindig and, last but not least, a bizarre "Village of the Damned" boys choir. And none of it makes a lick of sense. As far as overblown, melodramatic power ballads go, Celine Dion could learn a thing or two from Bonnie Tyler. Turn around, Bright Eyes!