Friday Night Videos

One of my children intends to enter the Armadillocon Writer's Workshop this year (a great program to get into if you're a new writer interested in writing science fiction or fantasy). The problem, though, is that said child complained all their ideas spiralled out into epic sagas comprising tens of thousands of words, if not more. They simply didn't know how to write a self-contained story under the 5,000 word limit. So I sat down with them and watched, through the magic of YouTube, the vintage video of "Sylvia's Mother" by Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show. This song, written by the legendary Shel Silverstein, is a masterclass in telling a complete story in three minutes. There is so much information that is implied rather than spoken. My goodness, more information is conveyed by what is unsaid that all the lyrics combined. Of course, Dennis Locorriere's mourful delivery lifts the emotional impact into the stratosphere, but it's Silverstein's lyrics that give him so much to work with (interesting note: The song is autobiographical, about Silverstein's lost love, Sylvia Pandolfi. This song's like a puzzle box). I can't write that spare, or emotionally, or precisely, although I often strive for this level of mastery. I remain in awe of this song to this day, even if Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show is quite possibly the scruffiest, most disreputable-looking band in history.

When the song was over, my child and I talked for a bit, and they said that it sparked a story idea as we watched. Mission accomplished.

Previously on Friday Night Videos... ZZ Top.

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No subject has ever made such a popular subject for song as love. As long as humans have been making music, love’s far and away the top choice of lyricists to write about. Writing and discussing Inside the Texas Chicken Ranch, however, got me to thinking. Amid all that blissful romance, the darker flipside beckoned, and prostitution served as the inspiration for more than a few memorable songs. The Greeks and Romans sang about prostitutes, and minstrels in the middle-ages were more than a little bawdy. Cowboys of the American West favored songs so scandalous they could strip the needles from a cactus. It’s no wonder, then, that popular music of the modern era has produced countless songs about prostitution as well.

What follows in the coming weeks is a countdown of the top 10 songs (as compiled by yours truly) about prostitution of the modern era that were not inspired by the infamous Chicken Ranch brothel of La Grange, Texas. Between The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas soundtrack and ZZ Top’s “La Grange” (not to mention works by Willis Alan Ramsey, Billy Joe Shaver, the Austin Lounge Lizards and numerous others), the Chicken Ranch would simply have an unfair advantage.

1. “Queen of the Silver Dollar” – Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show
There have been few songwriters or poets as sly, as clever, as subversive as the late Shel Silverstein, and all of those traits are on full display in the devastatingly cruel “Queen of the Silver Dollar.” Originally recorded by Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show for their second album, the quavering, emotion-laden vocals start off borderline-distraught, but quickly become celebratory. Initially, the “Queen” comes across as a fading “It Girl,” trying to hang on to past glories in a smoky bar, fawned over by drunk patrons. But as the song progresses, her tattered, hopeless persona pierces the illusion of royalty, and it becomes clear the Queen is a prostitute, well-worn and reduced to eking out a living amongst the dregs of society. And then Silverstein delivers the coup de grâce: The singer isn’t some impartial bystander, observing the sad state of affairs, but rather the Queen’s pimp, bragging about finding her as an innocent country girl, corrupting and deceiving her to bring the girl to this low place. The buoyancy in his voice isn’t one of admiration or unrequited love, but rather pride of ownership. The Queen isn’t human, but merely an asset, and he’s not in the bar to admire her, but to ensure his own profit margins. In its own way, the friendly exuberance of the song mirrors that of so many pimps, who wear a friendly and caring veneer around women that only masks the dangerous predator lurking beneath. In this way, “Queen of the Silver Dollar” is perhaps the most true-to-life of any song on this list.

Interestingly, Emmylou Harris covered the song on her 1975 album, Pieces of the Sky. Harris singing the third person lyrics overlay a more neutral observational tone to the piece, until the final refrain, where she switches to the first person and admits to being the prostitute in question. Although it lacks the emotional devastation of the Dr. Hook version--Harris' prostitute has seemingly made peace with her lot in life, although she's is aware of its superficiality--it's still a pretty good song in its own right and regardless of anything else, was a daring song for her to record at the time.

Now, I have to close with quite possibly one of the most wrong-headed covers of any song, ever. Dave & Sugar released "Silver Dollar" as their debut single in 1975, scoring a minor hit with it on the country charts. But folks, everything about this version is wrong. They are so incredibly chirpy and upbeat throughout it makes my skin crawl. And Dave, when he sings that line about how he's responsible for her downfall? He's positively beaming! "Hey! I made this girl a queen! Isn't that great? Who else could make a girl a queen? Yay, me!" There is no menace, no guile, no possession in his vocals at all. Never have singers been so utterly oblivious to the actual content of their song since Gail Farrell and Dick Dale crooned "One Toke Over the Line" on the Lawrence Welk Show. The video below isn't quite as bad at the original linked above, but still. Some people simply have no awareness of the wider world.

Previously on Friday Night Videos... O.C. Smith.

Inside the Texas Chicken Ranch: The Definitive Account of the Best Little Whorehouse is now available from both Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com. It's also available as an ebook in the following formats: Kindle, Nook, Google Play, iBooks and Kobo.

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Okay, there's no denying that Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show was politically incorrect to an amazing degree back in the day, but the group had such a knucklehead charm about it that they still kinda get away with it. Case in point: "Baby Makes Her Blue Jeans Talk." Overall, this was clearly a cheap video to make, but I hope the woman was well paid, because her butt gets more screen time than all of the other elements in the video combined. Has anyone ever done a serious study on the fetishization of women's blue jeans in the late 70s/early 80s? Because goodness, it was big business at the time! I'm guessing that this coincided with the first jeans cut and marketed specifically for women, but that's just based on vague memories that may or may not be accurate. If any social historians want to take up this area of research, this Dr. Hook video is a good place to start.

Previously on Friday Night Videos... Merle Haggard.

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I've been in a major Flight of the Conchords mood lately. With "Man or Muppet" winning the Oscar for best original song, and "I'm Not Crying" playing a prominent role in The Pirates! Band of Misfits, who can blame me? It's enough to make a fellow go "Boom!"

Previously on Friday Night Videos... Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show.

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Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show had a string of catchy hits, but never managed to earn the album sales or fan following they deserved. Maybe that's because their drunken stoner antics prevented people from taking them seriously. Or maybe the fact that they didn't write much of their own material in the era of singer-songwriters had the same effect. I don't know. What I do know is that the late, great Shel Silverstein wrote a whole heck of a lot of their songs, including the heartbreaking "Sylvia's Mother." This single, based on an actual incident Silverstein experienced in his younger days, is deceptively simple but lays out a complete, multilayered narrative using an economy of words. The lyrics are masterful, and a fantastic example of concise writing. Enjoy.

Previously on Friday Night Videos... The Beastie Boys.

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