Monday, April 04, 2016

Batman v Superman: Bleak and nonsense

I despised Zack Snyder's Superman reboot, Man of Steel. I despised it because it was almost a good Superman movie. Despite a bunch of clever ideas and a central plot concept (Phantom Zone Kryptonians terraforming (ha!) Earth to make a New Krypton) that showed some imagination, it all went to naught because Snyder made Superman a broody, self-absorbed prick who, if he bothered to do something even remotely heroic, did so grudgingly. Since then, I've learned that Snyder is a devotee of Ayn Rand, which pretty much explains his apparent worldview that anyone who willingly does the right thing for the right reasons is a chump.

So I finally saw the Bats and Supes slugfest last night at the Alamo Drafthouse, and had my expectations set suitably low. I'm sorry to report that the film lived down to to them. So as not to come off as relentlessly grim as this film, I'll list what worked for me: 1) Ben Affleck's Batman/Bruce Wayne is mostly great. I say mostly, because Bats' indiscriminate killing and disregard for the safety of innocent bystanders is almost as egregious as Superman's from the first film. As the world's greatest detective, Batman figured out that Lex Luthor was manipulating public opinion against Superman--and directly caused the bombing of the U.S. Capitol Building with all the death that entailed--yet still decided to go ahead with his plan to kill Superman because, I dunno, he'd already gone through all the prep and it'd be a shame to let those cool SFX go unused. 2) Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman is mostly great. I'd worried that Gadot might not be physical enough for the role, or be too sword-and-shieldy, but once all was said and done, Wonder Woman's brief screen minutes count among the highlights of the film. And her accent made me very happy--I've heard people complain that they couldn't understand what she was saying, but these people are morons. Wonder Woman is not an American, and does not speak English as her first language. Having a vaguely Mediterranean accent brought the character home for me. That said, the Macguffin of getting her involved--Luthor had stolen a photo of her that she was trying to get back--makes absolutely zero sense, as what she eventually chases down is a digitized scan which has been copied at least three times (and probably more) by the end of the film. Huh? Ultimately, I came away looking forward to the upcoming Wonder Woman film, although the World War I setting remains something of a head-scratcher.

Beyond that, the movie is vastly inferior to the sum of its parts. Snyder didn't just take cues from The Dark Knight Returns, he lifted entire sequences and vast chunks of plot. But what wasn't widely reported in advance was the fact that Snyder also folds in large chunks of the Death of Superman storyline from 1992. Yes, Chris Terrio and David S. Goyer are credited with writing the actual script, but they wrote the script Snyder wanted. Snyder's fingerprints are all over this, and looking back over his previous films, this movie falls squarely within his oeuvre. Here's the thing: I don't think Snyder has ever actually read The Dark Knight Returns or The Death of Superman or heck, even The Watchmen before that. Oh, sure, he owns the books, and they're probably well-worn and tattered from his thumbing through them constantly, but I am convinced Snyder doesn't actually read them. He only looks at the pictures. How else to explain his slavish recreation of spectacular visual sequences from said comics whilst completely misunderstanding (or simply missing) the substantive underpinnings to those sequences?

When Superman SPOILER ALERT! dies at the end, this is supposed to be emotionally devastating for the cinema audience. It's not, because throughout two films now, Superman has not been presented as a hero to cheer for. He's a self-centered jerk who seemingly only dies to impress his girlfriend at the end. Snyder was rightly criticized for Superman's lack of regard for saving human lives in the first film, so in this film he tries to rectify that with a montage early on showing Superman saving people from burning buildings, exploding rockets, deadly floods... except none of these rescues actually come off as heroic. They're filmed like sequences from horror movies, with ominous music playing as Superman slooooowly descends. Often scowling. There's no urgency, no emotion, no concern. He stands around brooding as the unwashed masses fawn over him. A number of characters in the film tell us that Superman is beloved, but the film never shows it. If anything, these ominous "rescue" sequences serve to validate Batman's nightmare visions of the coming of Darkseid and Apokolips--hardly something that will ensure the audience is emotionally invested in the character. Ditto the people of Metropolis' (and by extension, the world) sudden grief at the loss of Superman. Not very much earlier, everyone had turned on Superman when a crazed bomber took out half of the U.S. Capitol, then started destroying both Metropolis and Gotham when Doomsday showed up (and really, as problematic as the comic version of Doomsday is, at least he was visually distinctive and menacing. This one looks like a cave troll extra from Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings). The emotional arc is not there. Chris Reeves' Superman? Not a problem. He was beloved by the people in his cinematic universe as well as audiences. Brandon Routh's? More problematic, but ultimately, yeah, he'd be mourned. Cavill's? Apart from those few people he grudgingly saved, this Superman hasn't really given anyone reason to trust him, much less like him.

Snyder, as a director, is very much a poor man's version of J.J. Abrams. They are both about the on-screen eyeball kick, and in my opinion, come up with various eyeball kicks for their films first, around which they then construct a script. For this reason, their films don't normally make a tremendous amount of sense and are rife with logical inconsistency and plot holes. The difference between Snyder and Abrams, however, is that Abrams understands character and gives the audiences compelling personal narratives and motivations even if they exist within an exploding world of dazzling nonsense. Snyder, instead, only offers nightmare dream sequences of Jack Kirby's unrecognizable New Gods, bizarre non sequiturs so disengaged and irrelevant to the events at hand that I was at a loss to explain any of it to my baffled family even though I probably understood what was going on better than anyone else in the half-empty theater. Jesse Eisenberg's lunatic, evil Mark Zuckerberg take on Lex Luthor conveys nether genius nor menace. His unhinged erraticness is more evocative of the Joker than a worthy rival of Superman, but hey, his insanity allows him to scare Batman by confirming his bad dreams about Darkseid coming are all true! For Snyder, this is what passes for subtle foreshadowing.

There are rumors circulating about an extended director's cut, an R-rated cut, all sorts of cuts of this film that will "restore" all the sequences and scenes left on the cutting room floor and make the choppy, helter-skelter nature of the film flow better and make more sense. Sorry, but watching more if this mess is the last thing I want to do. Even if an hour of film that is pure character development is added back in, that doesn't change the fact we're still starting with two-and-a-half hours of celluloid that has none to start with. I've seen every one of Snyder's films at this point apart from the cartoon about the owls--yes, even his "passion project" Sucker Punch--and I've yet to see anything that leads me to believe he has any better grasp on pacing than he has on character. The best thing that can be said about Bats vs. Supes is that it's rapid collapse at the box office may finally be enough to convince Warner Brothers to remove Snyder from any future DC Comics films and give them to those who've show an ability to deliver movies with coherent character, narrative and emotion in addition to pure spectacle--and preferably all of the above.

Once all is said and done, I can't even bring myself to despise Batman v. Superman the way I do Man of Steel. The latter has an arrogant contempt for the source material that is simply wrong. This one... Batman v Superman is a hapless kid who sits in the back of the class and eats paste all day. You can't hate that. You just pity him and get on with your life.

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Friday, April 01, 2016

Friday Night Videos

Friday Night Videos

I played the Georgia Satellites' first album relentlessly when it came out. It was a pure distillation of Southern guitar rock in an era dominated by hair bands. I loved "Battleship Chains" but there's no arguing that "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" is the 800-pound gorilla on that disc. For my money, their second album is their best, but the band was never able to replicate that debut success and eventually broke up. Dan Baird's had some success on his own, but nothing matches that original rocking earworm.

Previously on Friday Night Videos... Emerson, Lake and Palmer.

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Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Chicken Ranch report no. 61: BEHOLD THE COVER IN ALL ITS MAJESTY!

Let's just cut to the chase--I've just gotten the final cover from my publisher, History Press, and it's a beaut:

Inside the Texas Chicken Ranch: The Definitive Account of the Best Little Whorehouse

I took a great deal of interest in the cover design, because I know first-hand how a terrible, inappropriate cover and outright tank a book's sales. Amazingly enough, History Press pulled me into the process early on--far moreso than I'd expected or was even prepared for. It helps that they've got a very lean operation there. My editor, Christen Thompson, and I bounced ideas back and forth for quite a while before coming up with some broad parameters. I didn't want a cluttered, montage cover. I wanted it to have a coherent, unified concept. I didn't want it to be plain black and white. Some of their covers can be described as such, and I didn't feel that would work for this subject matter. What the designer came up with fit within the discussions I had with my editor, but wow, did it surprise me! I think it's bright and fun and eye-catching. I believe it "pops," to use the technical term. It's a strong cover, and to say I'm happy with it would be an understatement.

Inside the Texas Chicken Ranch: The Definitive Account of the Best Little Whorehouse

I'm very happy with the back cover as well. How could I not be? It's active but clean at the same time, and that glorious blurb from former Lt. Governor Bill Hobby is a thing of beauty. That recommendation is the Platonic ideal of book blurbs. And to think one prospective publisher was scared off by it (long story). I'm almost as proud of that quote as I am of the book itself, and am forever grateful for the kindness and support Hobby has shown me during this long process.

Oh, I also finished my page proofs this week and returned them to my editor, which means I am done will all the book-making obligations on my part. From here on out, it's the publisher handling the printing aspect. August 1 is the date, folks. Mark your calendars and spread the word! Seriously--show this cover to everyone you know so they can take part in the eager anticipation!

Title: Inside the Texas Chicken Ranch: The Definitive Account of the Best Little Whorehouse
Author: Jayme Lynn Blaschke
Publication Date: August 1, 2016
ISBN: 978.1.46713.563.4

And remember, Ghosts of the Chicken Ranch is still available if you just can't wait for August 1 to get here:

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Friday, March 18, 2016

Friday Night Videos

Friday Night Videos

Keith Emerson, of the legendary prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer, died last week. I was originally exposed to Emerson's work in high school through that other incarnation of ELP, with Cozy Powell on drums, but shortly thereafter got ahold of Brain Salad Surgery, the actual vinyl album form with the gatefold sleeve adorned with Geiger art. Pretty amazing. I never got into ELP as much as, say, Pink Floyd, but there have been long stretches of my life where their music forms the predominant soundtrack of my life. I never got to see them in concert, and now it appears as if I never will. Their interpretation of "Fanfare for the Common Man" gives a pretty good impression of the group's musical skills, Emerson's keyboards in particular. Watching this video, all I can think is that it must've been damn cold in Montreal that day. I'll wager the band's primary goal was to get the video shot in one take.

Previously on Friday Night Videos... Billy Joel.

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Friday, March 11, 2016

Friday Night Videos

Friday Night Videos

The wet weather we've had this week has put me in the mood for Billy Joel's "Downeaster 'Alexa'" off the Stormfront album. I saw him perform it live in Houston during the River of Dreams tour a few years later, and it impressed me how he tied the plight of the New England fisheries to that of the Gulf Coast shrimpers, who were going through a rough patch at the time (not as rough as what followed the Deep Horizon oil spill, but still). I know it's not much, but it always impresses me when performers take the time to absorb some of the local issues when they visit, something a little more substantive than "Hello Houston! You rock!" In any event, enjoy the rain, and enjoy the 1970s-style narrative approach taken in the song.

Previously on Friday Night Videos... Meredith Brooks.

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Thursday, March 10, 2016

Grafting revisited

I feel the need to clear up a misconception I've encountered with growing frequency: I don't have a green thumb. I'm not terribly good with plants. If it's in a pot, odds are that I will kill it sooner rather than later. Not through abuse or neglect, mind you, but by doing everything I'm supposed to in order to assure perfect growing conditions. I've killed countless types of passion flowers this way. Conversely, if I plant something outside, in the ground, where it can generally fend for itself without my constant attention, then the plants do pretty well for themselves. Hence my acquired preference for fruit trees. That image to the left? That's a little fly camped out on blossoms of my Santa Rosa plum. I planted this plum tree last year (we had a dwarf version at the old house) and it always produced a brilliant display of popcorn-like blossoms in early spring, followed by dark red, sweet-tart fruit. I might actually get a few plums off it this year. That would be nice, although the other plum tree isn't blooming so I don't know what to expect regarding cross pollination.

What I'm really jazzed about are these next two images. Take a look. The first is of the Hall apple graft on the old dwarf apple tree on the south side of my yard, and the second is of the Yates apple graft on the old dwarf tree on the north side of my yard. Cleft grafting is the easiest type of grafting there is, apples and pears are very cooperative when it comes to grafting, and I've had great success with it in the past. That said, there's always a period of uncertainty in the early spring when the grafted wood is dormant and I'm left to worry "Is the graft taking? Is the wound healing? Or is the bud wood dead and the graft a failure?" It's not until the buds break on the grafted sticks that I can exhale a little in relief. There are things that can still happen to ruin the grafting attempt, but the biggest hurdle is past. I also had bud break on a Hewe's Virginia crab apple bench graft I got earlier in the spring, which I'm happy about. Now, all I need are the other nine grafts on the two trees to show signs of active growth and all will be well.

Hall heirloom apple budwood graft

Yates heirloom apple budwood graft

Other times, the graft doesn't waste any time letting you know it's happy. This image below is of a Meadows pear scion I grafted onto my Purdue pear tree about four weeks ago after getting the wood through a trade with another grower. Once it finishes flowering I'll pick them all off to ensure the scion doesn't try to make any fruit. First, the fruit would break the fresh grafting union before it completely healed, and secondly, I want the tree to put all its energy into growing the graft this season. But it's still nice to see such obvious early success.

Elsewhere, I've got an agarita bush in the front yard in full bloom (below). I hope to add more of the tart-berried native plant in the future. The fruit makes a great wine and the plant is drought-tolerant and simply wants to be left alone (the sharp thorns on the holly-like leaves are testament to that). Second down is the Galaxy peach I planted last year in bloom. It's blooming a lot. Supposedly these garish, magenta blossoms are self-fertile, but just to be sure, the Red Baron peach about 15 feet away is breaking out into some serious color as well. Most everything else I have is still dormant, but with the warm weather and recent rains, I expect everything to be breaking out any day now.

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Wednesday, March 09, 2016

Chicken Ranch report no. 60: Milestones

Inside the Texas Chicken Ranch: The Definitive Account of the Best Little Whorehouse
Today's a pretty significant milestone for me, boys and girls: It's the deadline for me to turn in my review of the copy edited pages of the Chicken Ranch manuscript! And guess what? I beat that deadline by 24 hours and 43 minutes. This is a huge deal, because now the actual production process kicks into high gear to turn all those words I strung together into a real live book.

And I have real live information to share with you! We've had another title change (the last one, I'm pretty darn sure), with a for-true publication date nailed down as well.

Title: Inside the Texas Chicken Ranch: The Definitive Account of the Best Little Whorehouse
Author: Jayme Lynn Blaschke
Publication Date: August 1, 2016
ISBN: 978.1.46713.563.4

The process of reviewing the copyedits was long and grueling, compressed into less than a week so that we can meet the ambitious August 1 publication date--there are a bunch of events starting in September and running through the fall where we hope to promote the book, so making that August 1 date ensures it will be available for maximum exposure. And August 1 will mark the 43rd anniversary of the Chicken Ranch's closure, so that's cool, too. But the copyedit is a terribly important step in the process. Despite my going over the manuscripts what seemed like a thousand times, there were still plenty of typos and little errors on my part that the copyeditor caught. And there were more than a few additional typos, confusions and semi-big mistakes the copyeditor missed that I (thankfully) caught in my line-by-line read. I also realized, at the last possible moment, that two photos had been accidentally dropped and their cutlines lost. Fortunately, we got those restored fairly painlessly. There's 100 images in this book, people--the majority of which have never before seen publication. It's going to be very, very cool.

What took perhaps the longest to proof was my end notes section. During various rewrites and additions (remember, I was adding new material as recently as early February) some citations got moved out of place and in certain cases new citations added so that ensuing Ibids were no longer clearly linked to a previous reference. It was very important to me that all my citations be clearly documented and referenced. Some of what I uncovered will be controversial, and some will blow up long-held ideas about the Chicken Ranch. When that happens, I don't want people accusing me of making stuff up to suit my own ends. It's all there. Check my original sources. But when I got to the last page (below) I was blown away. I numbered by end notes anew with the start of each chapter, and never bothered to total them all together. I knew I had a lot of them, but 741 citations? Holy cow, that's way more than I ever imagined. And the notes themselves contain some author's commentary, so hopefully they'll be more value-added than just a dusty list of sources.

Inside the Texas Chicken Ranch: The Definitive Account of the Best Little Whorehouse

And remember, Ghosts of the Chicken Ranch is still available if you just can't wait for August 1 to get here:

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