Push poll

It's crazy in Texas. For the first time in my lifetime (that I can remember) politicians on the national stage are criss-crossing our vast state, begging for votes. Texas has never mattered before. There was a huge Obama rally on campus Wednesday night, with between 12-20,000 bodies crammed into Sewell Park to see the hopeful presidential candidate. There were snipers stationed atop the building were I work, and apparently one of them stepped in a big patch of vulture poop (we have a significant vulture issue here on campus), slipped and fell into the stuff. Afterwards those involved opined that it was "the worst assignment ever." Is that not a great story, or what?

While I was hearing about the conflict between the Secret Service and avian fecal matter, The Wife received an honest-to-gosh push poll. A push poll! They have these things in Iowa and New Hampshire. South Carolina is pretty much synonymous with them. But Texas? Wow. It went something like this:

ROBOVOICE: We would like to ask you a few questions for a political survey. It will only take a few minutes. Will you participate?

The Wife: Yes.

ROBOVOICE: Do you plan to vote in the primary elections?

The Wife: Yes.

ROBOVOICE: Does the knowledge that John McCain opposed President Bush's well-deserved tax cuts for America's stuggling upper class make you more or less likely to vote for him?

The Wife: Uh... more?

ROBOVOICE: Really? Well, did you know that John McCain wants to dismantle all our border crossing security so evil communist Muslim Mexicans can sneak across the border, steal our jobs, blow up our schools, eat our babies, marry our daughters and rape our livestock? Did you know that?

The Wife: I don't think--

ROBOVOICE: John McCain hates Jesus. Rush Limbaugh said so.

The Wife: This is a waste of my--

ROBOVOICE: The Hand of God reached down from heaven and anointed Mike Huckabee as our savior. If you vote for John McCain, you will go to hell.

ROBOVOICE: Who do you plan to vote for, Mike Huckabee or John McCain?

The Wife: Neither.

ROBOVOICE: I'm sorry, I didn't understand that answer. Would you repeat--

The Wife: click

I'm actually kinda disappointed Huckabee's people didn't accuse McCain of opposing feeding Mexicans to alligators. If you're going to go into race-baiting and fearmongering, at least do your research.

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