So I find The Wife in our bedroom watching an episode of Buffy, so I flop down on the bed to spend a little quality time with her. Right away I notice a slight stinging sensation on the back of my right calf. I look, but don't see anything. Then I notice a similar feeling on the top of my right foot. I rub it and look, but nothing is visible. Spider bite? It's not bad, so I shrug it off.
About the time Cordelia realizes the guy she's dancing with is a vampire, the feeling has turned to a more intense burning and I see a raised welt. Actually, several. Mutant mosquito? The Wife asks if I got into fire ants, but this is a different type of pain entirely. Both spots are inflamed, and the back of my left calf is starting to sting as well. And Bug comes up complaining of burning on the side of his arm.
I get up, flustered because I'm really starting to hurt--very intense burning--and then I see it: A white, teardrop-shaped caterpillar about half an inch long on the bed. It's a damn asp, just like the one that stung the heck out of The Wife so badly last summer. I scooped it up in some toilet paper and flushed it. We still have no idea how it got into the upstairs bedroom. It got The Wife on the leg as well, we soon realized. But I got the brunt of it. Joy.
Tomorrow I'm breaking out the pressure sprayer and loading it up with good old caterpillar-destroying thuricide, and dousing every tree on our lot something good. We've lived here seven years, and last summer was the first time we'd so much as seen an asp. I'll be damned if I'm going to let them take up permanent residence.
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