The thrill of victory... such as it is

Because of various disparate factors, we're running short of money. Nothing new. But with the need for a little extra cash on the front burner, I decided I'd find a costume contest somewhere and take my chances. Halloween being on a Monday this year, pickings were slim, as most nightclubs would've held their on Saturday. But I called around and found two with pretty worthwhile contests going on: San Marcos River Pub in San Marcos (duh) and Scores Sports Bar in New Braunfels. The folks at the River Pub said their prizes were $150, $100 and $75. Not bad--even assuming the half-naked chick walking around in her underwear takes first, there are still two more chances to win some decent money. Scores, however, trumped that. Not only were they offering the same top three prizes, the girl on the phone told me there was a fourth prize of $50. Scores was a 10 minute drive from my house, plus I wouldn't have to worry about college students competing against me. Scores it was.

So I dressed up in my Hern the Hunter/Antler Man costume, which is no small feat. I'm quite happy to discover the skimpiest female costumes are worn by the wait staff. I get off to a bad start by accidentally bonking my waitress (dressed as Alice in Wonderland gone down a naughty rabbit hole) on the head with my staff. Oops. I gave her some Halloween candy, though, so all was forgiven. The crowd grows, and more and more people show up in costume. Some are pretty darn elaborate, although most are store-bought. There's a big, hairy guy dressed as a Hooters waitress, who worries me. Another girl who's painted herself silver and is dressed as a sexy Tin Woodswoman from the Wizard of Oz. Her costume's not that elaborate, but she obviously put some effort into it. They announce there are four prizes--best female, best male, best couple and best overall. This is different from what they told me earlier on the phone, but I figure this is for the best. Two chances for me to win with best male and overall, with the skimpy-dressed women in their own category. They announce the winners. Hooters guy gets best male. Tin chick gets second. I win best overall. Yay!

They hand me an envelope. It's marked $50.

Crap. They went cheap. I glance at the other winners. $50 also. Well, the bar decided they could scale back their prize money. Wouldn't be the first time that's happened. That's $50 more than I had when I entered the contest. Gift horse and all that.

This morning I take a closer look at the "check," getting ready to deposit it. It's not a check at all. It's a $50 gift certificate for the bar, that expires in December. Cheap, cheap, cheap. I go to Scores two, maybe three times a year to watch games I can't get at home. It'd take me a year to use that whole thing, since obviously I can't take the family along and buy the kids a round. I really, really hate complaining about prizes, because yes, I know it makes me look like a sore winner, but crap.

As far as grand prizes go, this one sucks.

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