Thursday, September 23, 2004

Screw that lame Ender's Game movie!

Brace yourselves for the Broadway event of the century: The Last Starfighter: The Musical!:
According to production notes, "In a small town nestled in the Sierra Nevada Mountains in 1983, Alex Rogan is about to discover the adventure of a lifetime. An 18-year-old with an uncertain future, Alex becomes the master of a video game only to discover that Centauri, a huckster trying to save his vulnerable galaxy and make a little money in the process, put it on Earth as a testing ground. Centauri offers Alex membership in an elite cadre of space pilots charged with protecting the universe. Alex must find a way to reach his potential, while a great danger looms out in space, waiting for him."

I swear, I can't make this stuff up. But I really have to question why a Broadway adaptation and not a sequel? After all, the Ko-Dan Armada had been wiped out by Alex's timely application of the Death Blossom, but the nefarious Xur had escaped to scheme another day. Can't you imagine the glory of him prancing around the stage crooning "I'll have my revenge! My revenge! My revenge!"

Sure, the computer graphics were impressive for the time, but you have to wonder when the macguffin hinges on a Hollywood analog of the old Tailgunner arcade video game (a cool java version can be played here). It didn't help matters any that the novelization was more entertaining than the movie. But hey, throw in a couple of show tunes, and the sky's the limit!

Now Playing: Clandestine Music from Home

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